Always a Bridesmaid

Once again I have had the honor of being a witness in a wedding. I love being a maid of honor. I'm the one that gets to remind the bride that "I do" means F-O-R-E-V-E-R. (insert voice over from The Sandlot here!)

Anyway, last Friday I was on an express bus from Port Authority in midtown NYC and heading to Wayne, New Jersey. My friend got married in Wayne but we were staying in NYC. So that express bus was our ride... and it took 30 minutes and cost $5.50! What a steal! That's cheaper and faster than the train.

The rehearsal at the church was a breeze. Then it was time for the rehearsal dinner. I sat inbetween my friend getting married, L, and my sweetie, M. Everything was going fine until one of the pastors from the church and his wife made crass comments about other religions. They bashed Catholics, Methodists, Episcopalians, etc... It was bad. Then they turned to M and said, "Are you and Clara involved in the church?" M said, "Yes, we're both Catholic." I thought those people were going to barf up their $20 chicken. It was a very awkward moment and made us all feel weird. We called it a night shortly after that and hopped the express bus back to NYC.

That night, we froze our asses off but demanded to do more sightseeing. We strolled through Times Square, saw the famous tree in Rockafeller Center, posed for some corny pics and M ate a pretzel from a street vendor. He actually ate a hotdog from a street vendor in Chinatown, I thought for sure he'd get food poisoning and spend the whole day in the hotel room. But he was fine. And the pretzel did him no harm either.

Anyway, it was close to midnight and we had to be up for an EARLY bus ride back out to New Jersery. Wait til you find out what happened after the wedding...yowza!

Here are some of my fav. pics from the city...

Me in front of the arch in Washington Square near NYU


















L and me at her wedding
















L and me at rehearsal

I Wanna Be A Part Of It...

Ok, so I just got back from NYC. My friend, L, got married up there and I was her maid of honor. My sweetie, M, and I flew to NYC on Thursday so that we'd have some time to sightsee. This posting will cover just the first day. In the first 24 hours in NYC we managed to do the following:

• survived a cab ride in rush hour traffic from La Guardia to the Upper East Side
• almost purchased a Coach knock-off on Canal St. but ultimately refused it
• saw a movie being filmed in Little Italy starring John Leguizamo
• saw Oprah being escorted by David Letterman to The Color Purple on Broadway
• saw Donald Trump, Sidney Poitier, Gayle King, Jamie Foxx and David Hasselhoff also going to The Color Purple
• took a horse-drawn carriage ride in Central Park
• went ice skating in Central Park and only fell once (it was M's fault)
• got 2 slices of pizza and an orange soda for 4 bucks to share with M
• strolled into Serendipity for a frozen hot chocolate and a drug store sundae
• sobbed at Ground Zero
• shopped at Century 21
• walked by a group of NYU student workers that were on strike by a university library
• posed for a photo under the arch in Washington Square
• accidentally ended up in East Harlem and freaked the hell out

Long Time, No Post

I've been swamped, people. And J, I do not appreciate your tacky e-mail about me not posting in a while. I know I've been slacking off... sorry. :)

So here's what has been going on...

I SAW OPRAH!!!!!!! My sister, Connie, and I flew to Chicago at the end of October and went to a taping of the Oprah Winfrey show! The guest was George Clooney. He is positively dreamy. I had this weird out-of-body experience because I was sitting far too close to him. I almost flashed him. Then, ironically, we had a second taping that day about finding the right bra size. It was weird, and no, George did not see my boobs. (He left the set right after his show stopped taping.) I kinda did want Oprah to touch my boobs, but no luck. But it was FUN. We ended up with $250 in Nordstom's merchandise and the soundtrack to George Clooney's movie Good Night and Good Luck. You can see Connie and me in the audience during the George Clooney episode. It's on my TiVo if anyone wishes to come over and see it. No cameras are allowed inside so I only have 1 pic of us outside the studio...it's below.

I had my annual Halloween party again this year. I found this Mexican dress that my parents gave me when I was in 5th grade. That sucker still fit so that was my costume. My dad won the costume contest this year... he was Zorro. I added a photo below.

I finished my bellydancing classes. Those were SO fun. I know a slow routine that I do with a veil. And I learned 2 really fast routines. I'm far too embarrassed to show anyone, except my sweetie, M. So you'll have to just trust me that the classes paid off. :o)

Of course, I turned 30 on Nov. 22! My family and friends planned a big surprise party for me, but my dad spilled the beans. He sent me an e-mail saying, "Clara, are you having a margarita machine for your party?" I questioned my family and they came clean. However, they would not tell me the theme nor would they tell me the date, place, etc. It turned out to be a kick ass Mexican Fiesta! I haven't resized the pics yet, but I'll get some on here soon.

Sorry for this choppy post and I promise to be better about posting in the future.

Connie and me just before we saw Oprah!
















Dad and me at the Halloween party.

















I'm so geeky that this *should* be my car.

On the Soap Box

I've always hated the fact that totally single men in their 30s are called bachelors and totally single women in their 30s are called old maids, spinsters or even lesbians.

I have a friend who is male, in his 30s and is still single. He's straight and a staunch workaholic, but he's also really funny and super cute. He says he cannot seem to find the right woman. (But in my opinion he cannot find a woman tolertant enough to accept his work schedule.) Anyway... not one person assumes he is going to end up old and alone and certainly no one implies that he is gay. They all say, "Well, the right woman will come along eventually," as if to imply that he's doing absolutely everything he can to win a fantastic woman.

I have a friend who is female, in her 30s and is still single. She's straight and is literally a genius, but she's also very congenial and such a pretty girl. She says cannot seem to find the right man. (But in my opinion she cannot find a man that is intelligent enough to stimulate her mind.) Anyway... everyone hears her age and automatically assumes that she will end up alone with a house full of cats. At a recent family function, she was asked *several* times if she was a lesbian. They all say, "Well, she's gonna end up alone with no children," as if to imply that there is no hope and all the men on this planet will pass her by.

Ok - I know what you're thinking. Why don't I set up these two single friends?? Dudes, I tried. It was like setting up Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee after the divorce. It was ugly. But I digress...

I'm bringing this up because I was asked about my personal life today at work. Some bitch made a nasty comment about me approaching 30 and still being single. She made no comment to the 41-year-old single man that was with us - only to me. Here's how it went down:

Bitch: So, Clara, how old are you?
Clara: I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in about 1 month.
B: Aren't you worried about getting older? I mean, you're not even married yet, right?
C: No, I'm not married. But I'm not really ready for marriage right now.
B: Well you should get ready. The clock is ticking and you are not getting any younger. It will be much harder for you to find a man as you get older.
C: Well, how old were you when you got married?
B: 26.
C: Oh really? Well, by the time I was 26, I had a Master's degree, I bought my second brand new car, I bought my first home, I had been to Europe 3 times and I did it completely and totally on my own.
B: I guess we all have different priorities in life.
C: Yes, we do. And it's sad when our elders are not sensitive to that fact. Especially since they should know better.

The conversation ended there and she said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. I think that women and men can be single, approaching their 30s/in their 30s, and truly be happy. I'm living proof.

15 Days

In 15 days, I'll be sitting the same room as Oprah Winfrey. I know that means very little to some people. But it certainly means a whole hell of a lot to most people. Especially women, bi-curious guys and gay dudes. We love Oprah and here a few reasons why:

1. Oprah is a fox! No boob job, no liposuction, no facelift. Yes, she does wear wigs and has 10 people that do her makeup. And the lighting in her studio probably helps, but still... she's over 50 looks awesome.

2. Homegirl is tight with John Travolta. He is a weirdo Scientologist, but damn he is so flippin' cool!

3. She teaches you stuff that you didn't think you needed to know. It never actually occured to me that I should learn every detail of how to escape from a rapist while in a moving vehicle. But I do; we all should. It never occured to me that I should learn the exact, precise way of measuring my boobs at a certain time of the month in order to find the perfect bra. (Special shout-out to the creators of the Ipex bra at Victoria's Secret!)

4. Oprah made nerdiness cool. She is super intelligent and a bookworm... and she's proud of it. She feels no need to hide her inner-nerd. She even started her own book club. Remember 10 years ago when book clubs consisted of the hairy guy that managed the grocery store and that woman who stunk up the last pew at church? Now Oprah runs her own book club and it's actually cool to be in it! Nerds like you and me across the globe are out searching for books with that Oprah Book Club symbol! Nerds of the world unite!

Anyway, I'll have tons of Oprah scoop and photos for you at the end of October.

Big Tex, Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes

Of course I'm talking about the Texas State Fair! :) My family is planning on invading the fair grounds next weekend. We have some very close friends who will be visiting and we're taking them to the fair with us. The last time we went, my nephew stole funnel cake from a complete stranger. My sister was pregnant and we actually watched her eat fried pickles and cotton candy mixed together! Oh, and my dad almost got abducted by the Shriners during the night parade. And yet, we go back EVERY year and this time we are taking our beloved guests. I guess they will be more like hostages than guests.

But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.

This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.

Wine is Yummy

Yowza! I went to a wine tasting party last night. Holy crap, dudes. Have you ever done one? If not, you must go. Seriously, I thought I'd be bored stiff - I'm not much of a wine drinker. (But give me an amaretto sour and I'll let the good times roll.) But the class taught me so much about wine and the process of making wine. Plus, it helped that we got to try 17 different kinds of wine.

I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.

But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.

P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?

Dudes, I'm a Godmother!

Believe it or not, I'm a Godmother! And no, not a fairy godmother like my friend D suggested. I'm a 100% legit Godmother. I'm ready to give the pope a high-five and do a little Snoopy dance in celebration of that fact. I'm so excited, I might write Francis Ford Coppolla and encourage him to direct "The Godmother." It can be some sort of weird spin-off of "The Godfather" movies and maybe it can be set in the Hispanic community. Just a thought....

Anyway, my sister, A, chose me to be the Godmother of her son, B. Man, I was flipped out when she asked me. But I jumped at the chance and I'm honored to do it. My brother, J, is the Godfather.

Gotta go... many Godmotherly things to do with my nephew today.

The Power of 18

Ok dudes, get a load of this. M, the hottie firefighter, met me on July 18. Then he came to visit me on August 18. Today is September 18 and as I type this he is on his way to see me. It wasn't planned, it just sorta ended up working out that way. Isn't that kick ass? But what does that mean? Is it bad luck like those cursed lottery numbers on Lost? Or is it good luck like those people who play favorite numbers and win millions? I don't know.

What I do know is that I like him. He is close, so close, to perfect. M popped up out of nowhere and blindsided me. I haven't like a guy in a long time - so I just don't know what do with all of this. Any ideas?

Here I am at Sam's Boathouse in Addison, TX.

I'm going to see OPRAH

Dudes, get a load of this... My friend, L, is engaged to this guy who works for the ABC Network in NYC. He used his "connections" and got me hooked up with some Oprah tickets. I'm going on October 26 with L and my two sisters. Isn't that kick ass!!!!!!????? This is a dream come true for me. I've been trying to see Oprah ever since I was in college.

Unfortunately, Harpo Studios does not release the topic of the show in advance. You just sorta find out when you get there. But I'm hoping it is something cool. Here is a list of acceptable topics for me:

• Jack Black - a real man with a cute tummy
• Super Psychotic Oprah Fans In the House!
• Blogs - the people who read them, the weirdos who write them
• The Men of Rescue Me - Some Without Shirts

But you know...those are just off the top of my head. I'll take anything really. Well, that's not entirely true. There are some topics I would not like. Such as the following:

• Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow Wedding Extravaganza
• Irregular Bowel Movements
• Tom Cruise's Open Forum
• When Your Spouse Wants A Sex Change

Anyway, expect a full report with photos towards the end of October. Go Oprah!!!

Just stuff...

Some really cool stuff has been going on lately...let's get rolling with it....

I got a kick ass TiVo for freeeeeee! I was all excited and I even forked over the Three Hundy lifetime subscription fee. Then that TiVo crapped out on me. I called customer service and they actually told me I had a "gremlin" in my TiVo box. Man, that Gremlins movie scared the shit out of me as a child. How the hell could that dude say that to me? Anyway, I almost gave up entirely and got my money back. Then I even thought about taking the TiVo apart just so I could see the proverbial gremlin. But I got it all working again. And I LOVE me some TiVo now. That thing is going to change my whole perspective of television. The shows I used to give up on -just because of bad timing- will now have a chance.

Man, I signed up for some belly dancing classes. I shit you not. We meet on Thursday nights from 6 - 7 p.m. for 8 weeks straight - my first class is at the end of the month. I have to buy a scarf set and one of those skirts with the bells on the hips. How cool is that? I was kinda bummed about the class time because I'm gonna miss the first part of The O.C. But that's what TiVo is for...right?? See what I mean about changing my television perspective?

I went to the MAC Cosmetics store in a mall near my house. Girls in the world, hear my words: get to a MAC Store and load up. That stuff is like magic in a bottle/powder/pencil etc. Truly amazing stuff. Anyway... my girl friend G told me that MAC was having some kind of promotional event at the store. So we went. As soon as we walked in, they offered us a drink. And it was not some watered down kool-aid in a dixie cup. It was Bacardi Limon with punch! So we hit the drinks right away. Then this dude came out wearing nothing but the tiniest shorts I've ever seen. This dude must have stolen the shorts from Lara Flynn Boyle. Anyway, he had his whole body painted with a variety of browns, yellows and oranges. His hair had twigs and moss in it...he kinda looked like a hunky tree that came to life. Except that he was carrying a tray of fruit. I felt weird taking food from him so I declined and stuck to the Bacardi.

I've got some cool things coming up soon... I was asked to be a Godmother to my nephew. That's at the end of the month. Oh! And I'm planning a visit to see M the hottie firefighter. M lives about 6 hours from me so this is going to take some serious planning and serious gas money. Talk to you guys soon.

Hottie Firefighter

Ok, so I know I have not really shared the story about the hottie firefighter. And a lot of people are bugging me about it. So here's the basic rundown...

He and I met on July 18 at a restaurant/bar in Lewisville. He lives about 400 miles away, but he was in the Dallas area for work. We exchanged numbers and started chatting, then e-mailing, then phone sex. Ha! Just kidding on the last one. Anyway, we just hit it off and suddenly a month had gone by. We decided it was time for a visit.

He came back to Dallas exactly 1 month later. It was August 18 and he rang my doorbell. I had not seen him since that day in July, so I was super nervous. He came in and we talked and after just a few minutes, I was comfy again. The nervousness subsided. I was calm and relaxed. There's something so very comforting about him.

It was cool to spend time with him in person. There are so many things you miss when talking on the phone. For example, he really has a lot of expression in his eyes when he talks. And when he cracks a joke, he does a little half smile and his eyes sometimes widen. I liked watching his demeanor and becoming more familiar with the lines of his face.

I have to go into girly mode and say this one thing... He gave me this shy kiss on the cheek and it almost knocked me off my chair. It was sweet and sensual...by far, the best part of the weekend for me. Anyway, he had to leave on Sunday because he had to get back for work. A fireman's duty is non-stop. I think this visit will do 1 of 2 things.

1. This visit will make me crave more face-to-face time with him. I'll want more time in person with him and I'll spend a fortune in gasoline.

2. This visit will make or break it. He will decide that the chemistry is all wrong and he'll stop calling me or I will decide that the chemistry is all wrong and I'll stop calling him.

Stay tuned to find out...

Dancing Queen

Ok, so in March I started taking tap dance classes with my friend, Laura. Tap 1 agreed with Laura and me. While our instructor wasn't always very good at explaining things, Laura and I did get much better over time. She and I can flap, shuffle-ball-change and even do The Ginger Rogers step. We were so stoked about our progress that we immediately signed up for the next class.

Tap II started a few weeks ago and it's kicking our ass! What happened, man? I was doing so good. I was like Paula Abdul in that video where she dances with that stupid cat. And now, I am looking like a gerbil on skates. This is the last tap class that is offered. So I'll have to move on to something else...

...and I just found that something else. I am signing up for belly dancing classes! I'm short and hispanic which is not necessarily the best combination for belly dancing. But I'm going to try. The first class isn't until the end of September. But I'm stoked, dudes. I'm actually going to learn a veil routine and I'll have to buy one of those skirts with the bells on the hips. Kick ass!!!

4 Things About the Weekend

1. I went shopping on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday of Tax-Free weekend. No, I have not lost all my senses. I needed stuff, man. I bought a bunch of stuff for my nephews on Friday. On Saturday, I scored some killer tank tops...which is a rare find with boobs like mine. And today, my friend and I absolutely had to have those new leather sandals from Kenneth Cole. I'm such a sucker for a good pair of shoes.

2. I slept in some shorts that belong to a certain smoking hot firefighter...but not with the firefighter himself.

3. I paid $10 bucks to have my car washed at my nephew's fundraiser, only to have the sunny day turn into a Wizard-Of-Oz-Rainstorm. My car looks worse now than it did before the kids washed it.

4. I had a dream that I was at an amusement park with my 2 brothers. We were in line to get on a roller coaster and when the car finally came around my brothers refused to get in. You see, the roller coaster car was a big, giant strawberry. They said, "We're not getting on that thing, it's for pussies!" I urged them to please ride the coaster, strawberry or not. But they said no dice. Either I experimented way too much in college or my dreams are getting weirder with age.

The Supply Closet

I have this weird love for the supply closet at work. It's not so much a closet as it is a series of cubical cabinets. But I love it just the same and still call it the supply closet. Yesterday I was searching for the right kind of black pen. There were ALL kinds in there...a pen oasis. I tried several of the pens on the new legal pads our secretary ordered. Nerd heaven!

I love playing around in the supply closet. Sniffing the post-its that remind me of the first day of school, playing with the binder clips - my favorite office supply, and thumbing through the wide variety of Sharpie markers is a good stress reliever for me. For example, today I was searching for a red plastic binding so I could put a 30 page manual together. Our supply closet has about 45 boxes of those comb-looking plastic things. They are all different colors and sizes. You really have to pull down the box, open it up, check out the size and color, and keep moving on if you got the wrong ones. Seriously dude, I felt like Harry Potter when he was trying to find his wand. I know it's sad that those kinds of things make me smile, but at least I am honest.

Way back in the day, I was a teacher. I loved starting the year with those new pencils and perfectly pink erasers. So I guess now that I'm in an office setting, it's nice to still have those little perks. Man, it's the little things in life that make it all worthwhile.

Getting Tom Cruised

Today was a whirl. I sat in a meeting for 4 hours and it was such a snoozefest. Then I spent the rest of the day working on projects at work. One of them really pissed me off. I call it "Getting Tom Cruised." Here's what happened...I did some changes to a website for another person in my building and she didn't like them. She wanted it to have moving graphics and some weird color scheme - she actually had pages of notes with things for me to change. And all the things she suggested were poop. The thing is, I've worked for years learning the principals of design...and she's never taken 1 design class. So why is she suddenly telling me how to do my job?

She totally Tom Cruised me. She knows positively nothing about this topic and has no room to cast judgement on it. But there she goes...running her mouth as if suddenly she's an expert in my field.

She would shit Pop Rocks if I told her how to do her job. And the mean 8th grade girl in me wants to Tom Cruise her back. But I hate Tom Cruise so much that I just won't do it. Damn you, Tom.

Work

So it's Sunday night and I'm trying to get motivated for work. Here are 3 reasons I dislike work and 3 reasons I can't live without it.

Dislikes:
1. We kinda have this "community" office area. We are practically sitting in each other's laps all day and there's absolutely no privacy. I don't really need to know the exact medications of my coworkers or the date of their last colonoscopy.

2. The dude that sits near me keeps a small fan running 24/7. It blows up all the dust and makes me sneeze...not to mention I'm the only freak wearing sweaters in July because it's just that cold in the office.

3. I work for a school district and the teachers come back this week. The phone rings nonstop now and the e-mails are flooding my inbox. I already miss the quiet, peaceful days of summer.

Likes:
1. One of my best friends works in my building and she sends me dirty e-mails. Seriously, she and I should publish a book of our e-mail exchanges...we kick ass!

2. The dude that sits near me (the one with the fan) also keeps a radio going 24/7. He keeps it on Sunny 97.1 and if you live near Dallas you know there is all kinds of goodness coming from that radio station. Sometimes, I can even convince my coworkers to dance with me in the office.

3. My job can be so much fun sometimes. No, seriously. Since I started this job, I've been able to do some killer things...like design my own web pages, pet an alligator, tour Southfork Ranch (the one from the tv show Dallas), play with all kinds of new software and sometimes boss people around.

But as it gets later and later, I realize that I still have no clean clothes for tomorrow. I have not packed my lunch. I can't find my watch. I don't think I have gas in the Jetta. Ugh...

What was your worst date?

My girlfriends have been bugging me about the hottie firefighter I met a few nights ago. And as a result of their badgering, we started talking about good dates and bad dates.

I firmly believe that I have had more bad dates than any single girl should have. It almost seems unfair. There are some small bad ones worth mentioning...like the guy that kept answering his cell phone while we were having dinner or the guy that actually asked me if I swallowed. But one date in particular was shining far brighter than the rest. It was the killer of all bad dates. I won't use names to protect the innocent...

"David" was a friend of mine and introduced me to his friend, "Adam." One night we all had dinner together and at the end of the night Adam asked me out. I said yes and we did the whole number exchange thing. Hours before our date, Adam called and said that his car broke down and it was in the shop. Instead of rescheduling, I offered to drive. I'm really not one of those high maitenance girls that demands a guy to drive and I didn't see any problem with it.

I picked him up and he said, "I know this perfect restaurant, you will love it." We got to the hole-in-the wall steak joint and went in. First of all, he knew I did not eat beef and he took us to a steak joint. For me, this was the first true sign that things were going downhill.

The restaurant was kinda cozy and even had a "down-home" Texas charm to it. There were only 3 other couples in there so it was quaint. It was a restaurant Laura Ingalls Wilder would have frequented. But the menu was lacking. They kinda did family style meals with only 2 things on the menu. The 2 menu items were steak and venison. Ewww! I opted for a small salad...I'm such a girl.

During dinner he told me that he wanted to start a new religion that is a blend of Catholicism and Scientology. I tried to follow and I even asked him some loaded questions. But I just ended up confused and feeling the need to pray the rosary. Then he made some crass comment about mixed race marriages and how they are "damaging to society." I guess he seems to have forgotten that the little Latina sharing a meal with him has an English last name.

The check came and my small dinner salad was $4. I had water so with tax and tip, blah blah blah, I owed maybe $6.00. Adam's steak dinner with all the fixins' was $18.00. I never expect a man to pay for my meals, I always offer to at least pay for my half. Sometimes, men refuse my money and pay for the meal...which is fine. And sometimes I pay for my share...which is also fine. This time, I took ten bucks out of my purse and put it on the table, he just picked it up and put it in his pocket. Then he paid for the whole ticket with his credit card...keeping my ten and giving me no change. I'm certainly not in desperate need of 4 bucks, but it's the principal of the thing. It's rude, man!

We were walking out of the restaurant and he said he needed to stop by the bathroom. They were right at the entrance so I politely waited for him. It was a single stall bathroom so I knew he wouldn't be long. The walls were so thin, I could actually hear him peeing. Ewww. Then I heard the toilet flush and immediately the bathroom door flew open. As he walked out, I could still hear the water rushing down the toilet and he was fixing his belt. Which means he did NOT wash his hands. Grody! I was so afraid that he would touch me and it panicked me to think that he'd be touching the interior of my car with those pissy fingers.

On the way home he actually suggested that we catch a movie. I told him "no dice," and drove right back to his house. As we pulled up into the driveway, he said, "Oh, I guess my roommate must be home." I noticed that his garage door was open and his Honda was sitting in there! I recognized it from the night David, Adam and I went out to dinner. I said, "Isn't that your car?" He said, "Yeah, I'm taking it to the shop tomorrow." I said, "I thought you said it was already in the shop." He said, "No, no. You should try to listen better, that's not what I said." Ugh! What a prick!

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to walk him to the door or just kick him right out of my car. So I just sat there in my seat and said, "Well, goodnight." That ass actually leaned in for a kiss and I dodged him with one of those side hugs...the kind you give those distant acquaintances who don't deserve a full on hug. Then he said, "Maybe you'd like to come in for a while. I make the best breakfast." My jaw dropped and he saw it. So I'm sure he was not surprised when I said, "No, not even if Jesus was scrambling the eggs."

So anyway...that's my bad date story. What was your worst date?

Classy Galveston

Ok...so my brother got a kick ass promotion at work. While I was very excited to hear this news, I was very sad to find out that he had to move in order to take this new position. He moved to Galveston about 2 weeks ago and I went down there with some family to check out the new digs.
He's got a sweet set up and lives just blocks from the ferry dock. We drove onto a ferry and hit Crystal Beach. We found a good spot, got all our stuff off the truck, set up all the kids' toys, smeared sunblock all over and got our sand castle going. There was this nasty little shop that looked dilapidated and it was tucked somewhat near our truck. It really looked like you could throw a potato chip on that shop and the whole thing would collapse. We just ignored it. At least until some dirty old man came by a bit later and opened up the shop. He started setting up all his nasty items for sale. One example was a flag that looked like a Budweiser can only it said, "Buttweiser" and had girls in thongs on it. Oh and if you ever need a confederate flag bikini, I know where to find one. Really classy stuff he's selling there. We again ignored the shop until the dirty old man put out a sign that said, "Show me your tits." To make matters worse, he had a bull horn and would yell, "Wooo hooo! Show 'em to me!" as women would drive by. Ewww! I looked over at my sister, her husband and their 2 young boys. One of the boys said, "What are tits?" And my sister only replied with, "Pack it up." So we got all our crap and headed to a new spot. Bummer...I was hoping to show him mine and get enough free stuff for everyone on that end of the sea wall.

The next day we discovered that our beach, Crystal Beach, is where a young girl was attacked by a shark one week earlier! Holy shit, man! My nephews were in that seaweed filled water. Did you know that the beaches in Galveston are COVERED in red and brown seaweed? When we were in the water, the seaweed brushed up against our legs and it freaked us the hell out! Then we found out there was a potential shark bite waiting for us in that water? No way, dude. I was willing to go to the beach, but once the water hit my knees, I was outta there.

Our short trip was fun - it's always fun to hang out with the family. And I met some very interesting characters while I was there. I've attached a photo of some of them. But it seems to me that Galveston is an acquired taste. Maybe I just need to visit it a bit more and get used to it. Or maybe I should go there by myself. Or maybe I should just wait for the moon to align with Pluto and change the tides so that there is less seaweed and definitely no sharks.

The Classy Shop on Crystal Beach.


An actual license plate I saw in Galveston.












Foot propped up, window down, cigarette - the Galveston way of driving.














Clark W. Griswald in the house!

5 Things About The Last 24 Hours

1. I developed an addiction to tomcruiseisnuts.com and you should do the same. That site rocks.

2. I ate a purple jellybean that was funky and I spit it out.

3. I talked to a smokin' hot firefighter on the phone.

4. I got the courage to drink one of those C2 sodas from Coca-Cola. It tasted dusty.

5. I went to the beach over the weekend and I finally got the pictures downloaded today. I've posted a pic of me squinting on the beach with bad beach hair...and another one of my nephew and me.

Uno!

This is my first blog entry...at least, the first entry for my own personal blog. I feel as though I should be shaking hands with the cyber-powers-that-be. Or at least, listing all the crap you need to know about me. But I won't. I think I'll let those little tid-bits filter out over time. For now here are the basics:

*I was born and raised in Texas. And yes, all things are bigger in Texas...except for me. I'm usually mistaken for a 12-year-old girl that lives 2 doors down.

*I'm 29 years old and I cannot wait to turn 30. They say that the 30s are the new 20s which means I get to live my 20s all over again. Sweet!

Alright, you have my A/S/L and that is plenty of info for now. I hope you come back here to find out the many ridiculous happenings in my little life. Oh, and here's a little pic of me in the car with my nephew.