On the Soap Box

I've always hated the fact that totally single men in their 30s are called bachelors and totally single women in their 30s are called old maids, spinsters or even lesbians.

I have a friend who is male, in his 30s and is still single. He's straight and a staunch workaholic, but he's also really funny and super cute. He says he cannot seem to find the right woman. (But in my opinion he cannot find a woman tolertant enough to accept his work schedule.) Anyway... not one person assumes he is going to end up old and alone and certainly no one implies that he is gay. They all say, "Well, the right woman will come along eventually," as if to imply that he's doing absolutely everything he can to win a fantastic woman.

I have a friend who is female, in her 30s and is still single. She's straight and is literally a genius, but she's also very congenial and such a pretty girl. She says cannot seem to find the right man. (But in my opinion she cannot find a man that is intelligent enough to stimulate her mind.) Anyway... everyone hears her age and automatically assumes that she will end up alone with a house full of cats. At a recent family function, she was asked *several* times if she was a lesbian. They all say, "Well, she's gonna end up alone with no children," as if to imply that there is no hope and all the men on this planet will pass her by.

Ok - I know what you're thinking. Why don't I set up these two single friends?? Dudes, I tried. It was like setting up Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee after the divorce. It was ugly. But I digress...

I'm bringing this up because I was asked about my personal life today at work. Some bitch made a nasty comment about me approaching 30 and still being single. She made no comment to the 41-year-old single man that was with us - only to me. Here's how it went down:

Bitch: So, Clara, how old are you?
Clara: I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in about 1 month.
B: Aren't you worried about getting older? I mean, you're not even married yet, right?
C: No, I'm not married. But I'm not really ready for marriage right now.
B: Well you should get ready. The clock is ticking and you are not getting any younger. It will be much harder for you to find a man as you get older.
C: Well, how old were you when you got married?
B: 26.
C: Oh really? Well, by the time I was 26, I had a Master's degree, I bought my second brand new car, I bought my first home, I had been to Europe 3 times and I did it completely and totally on my own.
B: I guess we all have different priorities in life.
C: Yes, we do. And it's sad when our elders are not sensitive to that fact. Especially since they should know better.

The conversation ended there and she said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. I think that women and men can be single, approaching their 30s/in their 30s, and truly be happy. I'm living proof.