The Love Shack

After dealing with that car accident and driving all Monday night in Brown Sugar, I got home at 1:00 a.m. My head said, "Go to bed, go straight to bed, do not pass Go, do not collect $200." I obeyed and did my best to stay awake at work that Tuesday. After work that day, I had to figure out when to get my car repaired and I tried to get in touch with my home security company to beef up my service. So, naturally, that was the perfect time for...

2008 Problem 4

By Tuesday night, I was exhausted and that nasty seat-belt bruise was looking gross. I just wanted to sleep. I curled up in bed and I heard this noise in my attic. It sounded like little squirrel feet. Then I heard a shriek that I often hear from the squirrels that have laid claim to the creek in my back yard. Only, that shriek was coming from my attic. I knew there was no way to get them out at night so I decided to wait until morning to de-squirrel my attic. They must have woken me up about 20 times that night.

On Wednesday, I was home for lunch and I looked in the attic. Nothing. I figured they didn't like my accommodations and they left. Whew! But later that evening, I heard them again. I made M go up into the attic to investigate. As he looked up into the attic, I saw his face drop. And he said, "They're not squirrels. They're raccoons. And they're fu*&ing!" I almost vomited on the spot. I forced M to immediately close the attic door because those nasty things can carry rabies!

It turns out that the raccoons chewed through a vent screen on my roof and got into the attic. January is mating season for raccoons and in March/April they nest and have babies. My attic was their nocturnal love shack! And during the day, they were spooning in a dark corner sleeping the day away.

On Thursday, I made phone calls to Animal Control, I lit some St. Francis candles and I bought this blue powder called Critter Ridder. I sprinkled the Critter Ridder (which aggravates a raccoon's eyes and nose) all around my house and in my attic. During the day, while I was at work, I placed a boom-box in the attic that blared La Casa 106.7 FM. If those raccoons were going to disrupt my sleep, I was going to disrupt theirs with the best in Tejano music. Animal Control lent me a raccoon trap that I set up in the attic. And the St. Francis candle was joined by a rosary session and some holy water.

By Friday night, they were gone and it only cost me $50 total. M was kind enough to repair the vent screen for me. And I finally did catch some Z's but I never did catch anything in the raccoon trap. For which I am grateful because that would have grossed me out even more than knowing some raccoons turned my attic into a dirty motel.