Brown Sugar

So, you already know about my January filled with many car troubles and attempted burglaries. As promised, here comes....

2008 Problem 3

Since January was sucking balls, I was excited to be going on a short road trip with some family and M to San Antonio. It was an excellent three-day weekend filled with too much food and not enough cocktails.

I rode back to Big D with M in his truck on January 21. The rain was pouring down, traffic was bad and when we finally made it into Austin, we were starving. We took an exit off I-35 and traveled towards one of our Austin favs. You know I'm talking about you Vinny's!

We were driving north on Lamar when we saw some crazy bitch driving south down the wet hill. She started to hydroplane, lost control, drove across the median and right into the oncoming traffic. Which included us. First, the crazy bitch hit a pickup and then the pickup smashed into a Caddy. (It was a gold Caddy!)

We were far enough down the hill that we witnessed the whole, scary thing. And then... that crazy bitch started sliding toward us! She never hit the brakes! M tried to move the truck so she wouldn't hit my side. But her car was swirling and there was nowhere to go.

She hit my side of the truck while we were at a complete stop. And we saw her coming so we knew it was going to be bad. My body pushed forward into the seat belt and then pushed back against the seat. M was jolted but since the impact wasn't on his side, it wasn't that bad. Nobody else was hurt in the accident. Is it bad that I kinda wanted that crazy bitch to bleed?

Anyway, M's truck was really damaged and wouldn't even start. It was towed to a body shop that night so that left us stranded in Austin and I had to be at work the next day!

Luckily, M's cousin lives nearby and he picked us up. We made all the insurance calls at his place and he graciously offered us his brown Suburban, appropriately named Brown Sugar, to drive back to Dallas. Now, I need to note that M's cousin is a mortician. His place is a morgue and Brown Sugar has no middle or back seats because it's used to pick up bodies. And we drove it in the middle of the night back to Dallas. Eeek!

We made it back to Dallas safely. I had a seatbelt shaped bruise from my right shoulder to my left breast. So pretty! The bruise is gone now but it was a great conversation starter! M's truck is still in Austin getting repaired. It'll be a while before it's fixed.

So anyway, that's 3 things about the hot mess that is my life. Problem 4 is coming soon and it involves raccoons. You have to come back for that one next week!