The Latino Locksmith

As you know, I've decided to let file a grievance with the month of January, 2008. The many, many problems that happened during that month will be filed here.

2008 Problem 2
On January 11, I was still mad about shelling out over 5-hundy for car repairs. But I was glad it was Friday and I wanted to get home to watch Oprah.

I got home at 5:18, pulled into the driveway and clicked the garage door opener. But the garage door didn't go up. I got the opener and walked right up to the garage door and clicked several times. Nothing. My garage opener has a keypad so I entered my code and the door still didn't open. I walked around the house and saw that my house did have electricity. So I couldn't figure out why the door wouldn't open. After a few phone calls to my brother and my dad, I basically had 2 choices: break a window or call a locksmith because I didn't have my house keys with me and my parents lost the spare keys.

5:36 - I called a local locksmith and they said Fernando was on his way to my house.

6:06 - Fernando, the Latino Locksmith, still had not arrived. I was getting hungry, it was getting cold outside. And I had to pee. I called Fernando and he said he was stuck in traffic. I said, "Isn't your business two blocks from my house?" He said, "No. We're part of a team and the locksmith by your house was already out on a call. So they sent it to me and I'm from Rockwall, but I'm almost there." ROCKWALL?? Holy shit!

6:36 - I called Fernando and he said he was "really close." I was afraid to leave my driveway because I thought he'd show up while I was gone and I'd have to wait even longer for his return. The pee emergency was at level orange. I thought about peeing in my backyard, but there are so many squirrels I was afraid they'd bite my butt.

7:18 - Fernando arrived. He unlocked the front door. Once I opened the garage from the inside, the keypad and remote opener started working again. Weird. I peeked at Fernando's price sheet and it looked like he was going to charge me $120! But strangely, he said, "That will be $50." So I quickly wrote him a check before he changed his mind. Before he left my house, he said, "I spent all day at the studio and I'm having an art show tomorrow. Would you like to go to dinner and then to the show with me?" I kindly declined and then told him I really had to pee. Then he asked me for some Advil. ?? Weird.

On January 14, the day after my Check Engine light came on again, I called the manufacturer of my garage door opener and explained what happened. They said my opener "locked down" as a defense against an attempted break in. Evidently, some asshole was using another garage door opener and trying to break into my house with it. Or the asshole was entering in code after code into the keypad trying to break in. Either way... someone tried to break into my house!!!

I guess things could have been worse because this problem only cost me $50 and 2 Advil. But those 2 problems from January are just the beginning. More coming soon... and they involve raccoons and a Suburban named Brown Sugar.