On the Soap Box

I've always hated the fact that totally single men in their 30s are called bachelors and totally single women in their 30s are called old maids, spinsters or even lesbians.

I have a friend who is male, in his 30s and is still single. He's straight and a staunch workaholic, but he's also really funny and super cute. He says he cannot seem to find the right woman. (But in my opinion he cannot find a woman tolertant enough to accept his work schedule.) Anyway... not one person assumes he is going to end up old and alone and certainly no one implies that he is gay. They all say, "Well, the right woman will come along eventually," as if to imply that he's doing absolutely everything he can to win a fantastic woman.

I have a friend who is female, in her 30s and is still single. She's straight and is literally a genius, but she's also very congenial and such a pretty girl. She says cannot seem to find the right man. (But in my opinion she cannot find a man that is intelligent enough to stimulate her mind.) Anyway... everyone hears her age and automatically assumes that she will end up alone with a house full of cats. At a recent family function, she was asked *several* times if she was a lesbian. They all say, "Well, she's gonna end up alone with no children," as if to imply that there is no hope and all the men on this planet will pass her by.

Ok - I know what you're thinking. Why don't I set up these two single friends?? Dudes, I tried. It was like setting up Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee after the divorce. It was ugly. But I digress...

I'm bringing this up because I was asked about my personal life today at work. Some bitch made a nasty comment about me approaching 30 and still being single. She made no comment to the 41-year-old single man that was with us - only to me. Here's how it went down:

Bitch: So, Clara, how old are you?
Clara: I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in about 1 month.
B: Aren't you worried about getting older? I mean, you're not even married yet, right?
C: No, I'm not married. But I'm not really ready for marriage right now.
B: Well you should get ready. The clock is ticking and you are not getting any younger. It will be much harder for you to find a man as you get older.
C: Well, how old were you when you got married?
B: 26.
C: Oh really? Well, by the time I was 26, I had a Master's degree, I bought my second brand new car, I bought my first home, I had been to Europe 3 times and I did it completely and totally on my own.
B: I guess we all have different priorities in life.
C: Yes, we do. And it's sad when our elders are not sensitive to that fact. Especially since they should know better.

The conversation ended there and she said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. I think that women and men can be single, approaching their 30s/in their 30s, and truly be happy. I'm living proof.

15 Days

In 15 days, I'll be sitting the same room as Oprah Winfrey. I know that means very little to some people. But it certainly means a whole hell of a lot to most people. Especially women, bi-curious guys and gay dudes. We love Oprah and here a few reasons why:

1. Oprah is a fox! No boob job, no liposuction, no facelift. Yes, she does wear wigs and has 10 people that do her makeup. And the lighting in her studio probably helps, but still... she's over 50 looks awesome.

2. Homegirl is tight with John Travolta. He is a weirdo Scientologist, but damn he is so flippin' cool!

3. She teaches you stuff that you didn't think you needed to know. It never actually occured to me that I should learn every detail of how to escape from a rapist while in a moving vehicle. But I do; we all should. It never occured to me that I should learn the exact, precise way of measuring my boobs at a certain time of the month in order to find the perfect bra. (Special shout-out to the creators of the Ipex bra at Victoria's Secret!)

4. Oprah made nerdiness cool. She is super intelligent and a bookworm... and she's proud of it. She feels no need to hide her inner-nerd. She even started her own book club. Remember 10 years ago when book clubs consisted of the hairy guy that managed the grocery store and that woman who stunk up the last pew at church? Now Oprah runs her own book club and it's actually cool to be in it! Nerds like you and me across the globe are out searching for books with that Oprah Book Club symbol! Nerds of the world unite!

Anyway, I'll have tons of Oprah scoop and photos for you at the end of October.

Big Tex, Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes

Of course I'm talking about the Texas State Fair! :) My family is planning on invading the fair grounds next weekend. We have some very close friends who will be visiting and we're taking them to the fair with us. The last time we went, my nephew stole funnel cake from a complete stranger. My sister was pregnant and we actually watched her eat fried pickles and cotton candy mixed together! Oh, and my dad almost got abducted by the Shriners during the night parade. And yet, we go back EVERY year and this time we are taking our beloved guests. I guess they will be more like hostages than guests.

But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.

This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.

Wine is Yummy

Yowza! I went to a wine tasting party last night. Holy crap, dudes. Have you ever done one? If not, you must go. Seriously, I thought I'd be bored stiff - I'm not much of a wine drinker. (But give me an amaretto sour and I'll let the good times roll.) But the class taught me so much about wine and the process of making wine. Plus, it helped that we got to try 17 different kinds of wine.

I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.

But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.

P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?