A Letter to Zach Braff

Zach,

Do you know what an Ultimate Hate is? It's a phrase we made up years ago to describe a celebrity/celebutard we despise. A long time ago, my friend S told me her Ultimate Hate was Tara Reid and her hubby's Ultimate Hate was Joan Rivers. My sister C's Ultimate Hate is Queen Latifah. In fact, her extreme distaste for Latifah is often the butt of jokes and pranks - including the anonymous family member who enrolled her in the Queen Latifah Fan Club.

So, are you wondering if I have any Ultimate Hates? Well, I do. Nicholas Cage. His voice gives me the heebie-jeebies and then there's that whole thing about naming his kid Kal-el. Oh, and then there's Jennifer Lopez which I think requires no explanation. And now, there's you. I read the May issue of Elle magazine and I also did peruse some lyrics of Mandy Moore's new album. And frankly speaking, you now appear to me as narcissistic and sanctimonious. Also, you shouldn't use movie roles/offers to try to get women you don't stand a chance with. (Natalie Portman and Rachel Bilson.) You are a repeat offender with those smarmy tactics and now I welcome you to my Ultimate Hate list.
Sincerely,
CJ

Vote For The Worst

I don't really watch reality tv but my friend, S, encouraged me to watch season 6 of American Idol. I made a promise that I would watch it and I truly have seen every episode this season...which is a lot for a commitment-phobe like me.

The first few weeks were funny because the bad singers were good for a laugh. (Remember the guy who thought he was a tiger and growled at Paula? Hilarious!!) Then they narrowed it down to 24 singers and that's when "the competition really started." But that happened to be the moment in time where I almost bailed because I just couldn't stand the bad singers, namely the male contestants. But S kept me motivated with her funny recaps of each contestant and I hung on.

Well, they all seemed to get a little better as the show went on and I grew to be a big fan of Chris Sligh and Melinda Dolittle. But the bad singers, like Sanjaya and Hailey, were still on the show and they were driving me nuts. I couldn't figure out how they were still hanging on while other talented singers like Sabrina were getting cut. Then Best Week Ever told me all about Vote For The Worst and it makes sense now.

VFTW claims that the early part of AI uses the bad singers to make a funny show and draw in the audience. So VFTW believe the bad singers should also play a part in the later part of the show and that, my friends, is why we all had to shield our eyes when Sanjaya came out with a faux-hawk and cover our ears while he squealed through his song. Sadly, that is also part of the reason why Chris Sligh was eliminated this week. Bummer.

I guess I do understand the reasoning behind Vote For The Worst and I even understand the humor involved. But I will be one angry Latina if Melinda loses to Sanjaya. Don't think I can't pull out a "Sana, sana colita de rana" and jinx Sanjaya. ¡Sí puedo!

5 Things I Learned This Weekend

1. My brother, L, knows tons of lyrics from Beyonce songs and evidently loves her music.

2. Dennis Hopper touched the right side of his face 13 times while presenting an award to Laura Dern at the Independent Spirit Awards. Then she kissed that side of his face while accepting the award...yuck!

3. My 2 year old nephew loves disco music and has some new dance moves. I'm pretty sure it's my mom teaching him those groovy moves.

4. I don't like Wal-Mart. At all.

5. Jack Black will make any awards show better. Go to YouTube and search for the song he did with Will Ferrell at the Oscars and you'll see why.

Little Life Still Little

I had one of those reflective kind of weekends. I'm 31 now and my life is not exactly where I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I love my little life. But it's odd how things turn out the way they do. I had many ideas for my life when I was younger. Those ideas that meant so much to me back then faded somehow ...and I didn't even notice they had faded. I realized this weekend that I didn't care that they had faded.

You see, there was a time when I was delusional about my future. Way back in my pre-teen years I thought I would be enjoying a wild life while married to Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys. Then, as a teenager, I was totally convinced that I would be married to an English bloke who would insist that we name our children Ian, Liam and Hyacinth. In my under-grad years, I thought I would get married after grad school and I would just pick up some dude on Fry Street. I never did suspect that I would be 31 and not even thinking about marriage. I have nothing against marriage - I just don't think about it for myself.

I went to a bridal shower for my friend Candace on Saturday afternoon which started my life examination. And as the weekend crept by, I really thought about how different my life turned out to be. The thing that surprised me the most is how happy I am with the way my life is going. If I was 17 and someone told me that I would be single at 31, I probably would have jumped off Reunion Tower. And yet, here I am, totally loving life!

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade my sweetie for the world. He is one of the most beautiful parts of my life. But our upcoming trip to Vegas will not include a visit to a chapel. :o) My little life may still be little - but I now know that it's unfolding just as it should be.

2 More Down

I watched 2 more movies from my list and here's what I think.

Volver - It's in Spanish - not my kind of Spanish but in Spain Spanish. There were some difference but the subtitles helped. This movie is intense and has a very serious, dramatic theme. But the actors are so good they actually give it a calm, graceful delivery. Penelope Cruz is worthy of an Oscar nod. I wish she would win, but I don't think she will. Rent it so you can rewind if you miss a subtitle.

The Queen - This movie should have been called Tony Blair's Queen or The Queen and Tony. It basically just tells a version of what happened in the week following Princess Diana's death. Tony Blair is urging the "Palace" to make a statement and he is carefully but firmly encouraging the "Palace" to be more considerate about the death. I thought it would be more of a biography-type thing. But no dice... rent it.

I still have about 7 more movies to go...and now I have to add Factory Girl and Bridge to Terabithia. Wonder if I'll have time to see all 5 of the movies nomiated for movie of the year?

SuperShuttle SuperSucks

I recently flew from Austin to Dallas Love Field. I got off the Southwest flight at 6:14 p.m., proceeded straight to the baggage claim, got my bag and headed to the shuttle pick up area. But, I saw no shuttle...only cab after cab.

So I called SuperShuttle and explained to them that I booked the ride 6 days in advance and prepaid but saw no van. The lady from SuperShuttle said that those reservations are only based on availability, even if you prepay 6 days in advance. So my options were to take a cab and pray that SuperShuttle actually refunds my credit card or wait 30 minutes for a SuperShuttle. I decided to wait and that was a mistake.

At 6:40 I sat down in the SuperShuttle to find that another guy was in the van. It's a shared ride so I didn't necessarily expect to be the only one in there. They usually group you with people who live in your area- but this time that was not the case. This gentleman, Mr. Reynolds, missed his ride and just jumped on a SuperShuttle sans reservation. So we had to drive him all the way to the Gaylord Convention Center in GRAPEVINE!!

It took forever to get all the way from Love Field to Grapevine and there was nothing I could about it. And the whole time, all I could think about was the Grammy Awards that was going to start in a few minutes. After dropping off Mr. Reynolds, the SuperShuttle driver turned around and said to me, "Would you like to get out of the van and go look inside the lobby of the hotel? It's beautiful, you should see it."

My jaw dropped and I pulled myself together just enough to say, "No. I've seen it." The driver said OK and we were off. We were approaching 635 which is the highway that leads me home. The driver's talking GPS system was telling him to merge but he missed it! He ended up on 114! If you live near Dallas you know that's heading straight to the airport...DFW International! So now I'm telling him where to go, the GPS system is telling him where to go and we still ended up inside DFW airport!! I started at Love Field and now I was in DFW!!!

He finally got it right and we were on the way to Plano. We pulled into my driveway at 8:01. I had spent only 46 minutes on the plane and 1 hour 21 minutes in the van! That's ridonkulous! I'm going on a SuperShuttle strike.

Questions About TV

I have a lot of questions about TV these days. I don't channel surf, I ONLY watch what's recorded on my TiVo. I hate the rush of new shows that come out each season. I usually wait for trustworthy friends (Susie and M) to give me a heads up on a show and I'll TiVo it. But lately I've come to dislike TV even more...

Who cares what Donald and Rosie think?
Donald and Rosie need to shut it already. I mean, why is so much emphasis placed on a real estate monster's opinion about the entertainment industry? And why is Rosie's opinion suddenly of extreme importance? That's like paying close attention to Jessica Simpson's opinion about the new Mensa exam...or placing bets based upon Ryan Seacrest's Oscar picks. It just doesn't make any sense.

Why does Isaiah Washington not know how to speak in public?
That guy is a walking time bomb. While he does a great job at acting, he's just as bad in public interviews as Anna Nicole Smith!

What the hell is wrong with Paula Abdul?
I saw an "American Idol Rewind" special on Fox the other night and it was a replay of an episode during season 1. Way back then, I would watch and I remember thinking that Paula seemed a little "off." But compared to her recent antics, she was downright professional and poised in season 1...which isn't saying much. How is she keeping that job?
Speaking of American Idol...
I find it so funny that America, the land obsessed with physical appearance yet the fattest country, is mad that the judges on American Idol are "too harsh." Ugh... I think they just have the guts to tell it like it is. I know you secretly agreed with Simon when you saw that guy in Seattle and thought he looked like a lemur. Now, should the judges vocalize those comments? Maybe not. But at least they're honest when they say what America is thinking.


Who ever said show business was fair and kind?
We have all watched enough E! True Hollywood Stories to know that show business is ugly. It's mean, it's fierce and it will spit you out once it's done with you. (Britney Spears, Screech, Macauley Culkin, Pee Wee Herman)

How did I end up in a TV society where people complain when a judge is brutally honest and the CBS Monday night line up got renewed? Ugh!