Always a Bridesmaid

Once again I have had the honor of being a witness in a wedding. I love being a maid of honor. I'm the one that gets to remind the bride that "I do" means F-O-R-E-V-E-R. (insert voice over from The Sandlot here!)

Anyway, last Friday I was on an express bus from Port Authority in midtown NYC and heading to Wayne, New Jersey. My friend got married in Wayne but we were staying in NYC. So that express bus was our ride... and it took 30 minutes and cost $5.50! What a steal! That's cheaper and faster than the train.

The rehearsal at the church was a breeze. Then it was time for the rehearsal dinner. I sat inbetween my friend getting married, L, and my sweetie, M. Everything was going fine until one of the pastors from the church and his wife made crass comments about other religions. They bashed Catholics, Methodists, Episcopalians, etc... It was bad. Then they turned to M and said, "Are you and Clara involved in the church?" M said, "Yes, we're both Catholic." I thought those people were going to barf up their $20 chicken. It was a very awkward moment and made us all feel weird. We called it a night shortly after that and hopped the express bus back to NYC.

That night, we froze our asses off but demanded to do more sightseeing. We strolled through Times Square, saw the famous tree in Rockafeller Center, posed for some corny pics and M ate a pretzel from a street vendor. He actually ate a hotdog from a street vendor in Chinatown, I thought for sure he'd get food poisoning and spend the whole day in the hotel room. But he was fine. And the pretzel did him no harm either.

Anyway, it was close to midnight and we had to be up for an EARLY bus ride back out to New Jersery. Wait til you find out what happened after the wedding...yowza!

Here are some of my fav. pics from the city...

Me in front of the arch in Washington Square near NYU


















L and me at her wedding
















L and me at rehearsal

I Wanna Be A Part Of It...

Ok, so I just got back from NYC. My friend, L, got married up there and I was her maid of honor. My sweetie, M, and I flew to NYC on Thursday so that we'd have some time to sightsee. This posting will cover just the first day. In the first 24 hours in NYC we managed to do the following:

• survived a cab ride in rush hour traffic from La Guardia to the Upper East Side
• almost purchased a Coach knock-off on Canal St. but ultimately refused it
• saw a movie being filmed in Little Italy starring John Leguizamo
• saw Oprah being escorted by David Letterman to The Color Purple on Broadway
• saw Donald Trump, Sidney Poitier, Gayle King, Jamie Foxx and David Hasselhoff also going to The Color Purple
• took a horse-drawn carriage ride in Central Park
• went ice skating in Central Park and only fell once (it was M's fault)
• got 2 slices of pizza and an orange soda for 4 bucks to share with M
• strolled into Serendipity for a frozen hot chocolate and a drug store sundae
• sobbed at Ground Zero
• shopped at Century 21
• walked by a group of NYU student workers that were on strike by a university library
• posed for a photo under the arch in Washington Square
• accidentally ended up in East Harlem and freaked the hell out

Long Time, No Post

I've been swamped, people. And J, I do not appreciate your tacky e-mail about me not posting in a while. I know I've been slacking off... sorry. :)

So here's what has been going on...

I SAW OPRAH!!!!!!! My sister, Connie, and I flew to Chicago at the end of October and went to a taping of the Oprah Winfrey show! The guest was George Clooney. He is positively dreamy. I had this weird out-of-body experience because I was sitting far too close to him. I almost flashed him. Then, ironically, we had a second taping that day about finding the right bra size. It was weird, and no, George did not see my boobs. (He left the set right after his show stopped taping.) I kinda did want Oprah to touch my boobs, but no luck. But it was FUN. We ended up with $250 in Nordstom's merchandise and the soundtrack to George Clooney's movie Good Night and Good Luck. You can see Connie and me in the audience during the George Clooney episode. It's on my TiVo if anyone wishes to come over and see it. No cameras are allowed inside so I only have 1 pic of us outside the studio...it's below.

I had my annual Halloween party again this year. I found this Mexican dress that my parents gave me when I was in 5th grade. That sucker still fit so that was my costume. My dad won the costume contest this year... he was Zorro. I added a photo below.

I finished my bellydancing classes. Those were SO fun. I know a slow routine that I do with a veil. And I learned 2 really fast routines. I'm far too embarrassed to show anyone, except my sweetie, M. So you'll have to just trust me that the classes paid off. :o)

Of course, I turned 30 on Nov. 22! My family and friends planned a big surprise party for me, but my dad spilled the beans. He sent me an e-mail saying, "Clara, are you having a margarita machine for your party?" I questioned my family and they came clean. However, they would not tell me the theme nor would they tell me the date, place, etc. It turned out to be a kick ass Mexican Fiesta! I haven't resized the pics yet, but I'll get some on here soon.

Sorry for this choppy post and I promise to be better about posting in the future.

Connie and me just before we saw Oprah!
















Dad and me at the Halloween party.

















I'm so geeky that this *should* be my car.

On the Soap Box

I've always hated the fact that totally single men in their 30s are called bachelors and totally single women in their 30s are called old maids, spinsters or even lesbians.

I have a friend who is male, in his 30s and is still single. He's straight and a staunch workaholic, but he's also really funny and super cute. He says he cannot seem to find the right woman. (But in my opinion he cannot find a woman tolertant enough to accept his work schedule.) Anyway... not one person assumes he is going to end up old and alone and certainly no one implies that he is gay. They all say, "Well, the right woman will come along eventually," as if to imply that he's doing absolutely everything he can to win a fantastic woman.

I have a friend who is female, in her 30s and is still single. She's straight and is literally a genius, but she's also very congenial and such a pretty girl. She says cannot seem to find the right man. (But in my opinion she cannot find a man that is intelligent enough to stimulate her mind.) Anyway... everyone hears her age and automatically assumes that she will end up alone with a house full of cats. At a recent family function, she was asked *several* times if she was a lesbian. They all say, "Well, she's gonna end up alone with no children," as if to imply that there is no hope and all the men on this planet will pass her by.

Ok - I know what you're thinking. Why don't I set up these two single friends?? Dudes, I tried. It was like setting up Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee after the divorce. It was ugly. But I digress...

I'm bringing this up because I was asked about my personal life today at work. Some bitch made a nasty comment about me approaching 30 and still being single. She made no comment to the 41-year-old single man that was with us - only to me. Here's how it went down:

Bitch: So, Clara, how old are you?
Clara: I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in about 1 month.
B: Aren't you worried about getting older? I mean, you're not even married yet, right?
C: No, I'm not married. But I'm not really ready for marriage right now.
B: Well you should get ready. The clock is ticking and you are not getting any younger. It will be much harder for you to find a man as you get older.
C: Well, how old were you when you got married?
B: 26.
C: Oh really? Well, by the time I was 26, I had a Master's degree, I bought my second brand new car, I bought my first home, I had been to Europe 3 times and I did it completely and totally on my own.
B: I guess we all have different priorities in life.
C: Yes, we do. And it's sad when our elders are not sensitive to that fact. Especially since they should know better.

The conversation ended there and she said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. I think that women and men can be single, approaching their 30s/in their 30s, and truly be happy. I'm living proof.

15 Days

In 15 days, I'll be sitting the same room as Oprah Winfrey. I know that means very little to some people. But it certainly means a whole hell of a lot to most people. Especially women, bi-curious guys and gay dudes. We love Oprah and here a few reasons why:

1. Oprah is a fox! No boob job, no liposuction, no facelift. Yes, she does wear wigs and has 10 people that do her makeup. And the lighting in her studio probably helps, but still... she's over 50 looks awesome.

2. Homegirl is tight with John Travolta. He is a weirdo Scientologist, but damn he is so flippin' cool!

3. She teaches you stuff that you didn't think you needed to know. It never actually occured to me that I should learn every detail of how to escape from a rapist while in a moving vehicle. But I do; we all should. It never occured to me that I should learn the exact, precise way of measuring my boobs at a certain time of the month in order to find the perfect bra. (Special shout-out to the creators of the Ipex bra at Victoria's Secret!)

4. Oprah made nerdiness cool. She is super intelligent and a bookworm... and she's proud of it. She feels no need to hide her inner-nerd. She even started her own book club. Remember 10 years ago when book clubs consisted of the hairy guy that managed the grocery store and that woman who stunk up the last pew at church? Now Oprah runs her own book club and it's actually cool to be in it! Nerds like you and me across the globe are out searching for books with that Oprah Book Club symbol! Nerds of the world unite!

Anyway, I'll have tons of Oprah scoop and photos for you at the end of October.

Big Tex, Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes

Of course I'm talking about the Texas State Fair! :) My family is planning on invading the fair grounds next weekend. We have some very close friends who will be visiting and we're taking them to the fair with us. The last time we went, my nephew stole funnel cake from a complete stranger. My sister was pregnant and we actually watched her eat fried pickles and cotton candy mixed together! Oh, and my dad almost got abducted by the Shriners during the night parade. And yet, we go back EVERY year and this time we are taking our beloved guests. I guess they will be more like hostages than guests.

But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.

This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.

Wine is Yummy

Yowza! I went to a wine tasting party last night. Holy crap, dudes. Have you ever done one? If not, you must go. Seriously, I thought I'd be bored stiff - I'm not much of a wine drinker. (But give me an amaretto sour and I'll let the good times roll.) But the class taught me so much about wine and the process of making wine. Plus, it helped that we got to try 17 different kinds of wine.

I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.

But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.

P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?