In 15 days, I'll be sitting the same room as Oprah Winfrey. I know that means very little to some people. But it certainly means a whole hell of a lot to most people. Especially women, bi-curious guys and gay dudes. We love Oprah and here a few reasons why:
1. Oprah is a fox! No boob job, no liposuction, no facelift. Yes, she does wear wigs and has 10 people that do her makeup. And the lighting in her studio probably helps, but still... she's over 50 looks awesome.
2. Homegirl is tight with John Travolta. He is a weirdo Scientologist, but damn he is so flippin' cool!
3. She teaches you stuff that you didn't think you needed to know. It never actually occured to me that I should learn every detail of how to escape from a rapist while in a moving vehicle. But I do; we all should. It never occured to me that I should learn the exact, precise way of measuring my boobs at a certain time of the month in order to find the perfect bra. (Special shout-out to the creators of the Ipex bra at Victoria's Secret!)
4. Oprah made nerdiness cool. She is super intelligent and a bookworm... and she's proud of it. She feels no need to hide her inner-nerd. She even started her own book club. Remember 10 years ago when book clubs consisted of the hairy guy that managed the grocery store and that woman who stunk up the last pew at church? Now Oprah runs her own book club and it's actually cool to be in it! Nerds like you and me across the globe are out searching for books with that Oprah Book Club symbol! Nerds of the world unite!
Anyway, I'll have tons of Oprah scoop and photos for you at the end of October.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Big Tex, Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes
Of course I'm talking about the Texas State Fair! :) My family is planning on invading the fair grounds next weekend. We have some very close friends who will be visiting and we're taking them to the fair with us. The last time we went, my nephew stole funnel cake from a complete stranger. My sister was pregnant and we actually watched her eat fried pickles and cotton candy mixed together! Oh, and my dad almost got abducted by the Shriners during the night parade. And yet, we go back EVERY year and this time we are taking our beloved guests. I guess they will be more like hostages than guests.
But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.
This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.
But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.
This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Wine is Yummy
Yowza! I went to a wine tasting party last night. Holy crap, dudes. Have you ever done one? If not, you must go. Seriously, I thought I'd be bored stiff - I'm not much of a wine drinker. (But give me an amaretto sour and I'll let the good times roll.) But the class taught me so much about wine and the process of making wine. Plus, it helped that we got to try 17 different kinds of wine.
I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.
But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.
P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?
I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.
But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.
P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Dudes, I'm a Godmother!
Believe it or not, I'm a Godmother! And no, not a fairy godmother like my friend D suggested. I'm a 100% legit Godmother. I'm ready to give the pope a high-five and do a little Snoopy dance in celebration of that fact. I'm so excited, I might write Francis Ford Coppolla and encourage him to direct "The Godmother." It can be some sort of weird spin-off of "The Godfather" movies and maybe it can be set in the Hispanic community. Just a thought....
Anyway, my sister, A, chose me to be the Godmother of her son, B. Man, I was flipped out when she asked me. But I jumped at the chance and I'm honored to do it. My brother, J, is the Godfather.
Gotta go... many Godmotherly things to do with my nephew today.
Anyway, my sister, A, chose me to be the Godmother of her son, B. Man, I was flipped out when she asked me. But I jumped at the chance and I'm honored to do it. My brother, J, is the Godfather.
Gotta go... many Godmotherly things to do with my nephew today.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
The Power of 18
Ok dudes, get a load of this. M, the hottie firefighter, met me on July 18. Then he came to visit me on August 18. Today is September 18 and as I type this he is on his way to see me. It wasn't planned, it just sorta ended up working out that way. Isn't that kick ass? But what does that mean? Is it bad luck like those cursed lottery numbers on Lost? Or is it good luck like those people who play favorite numbers and win millions? I don't know.
What I do know is that I like him. He is close, so close, to perfect. M popped up out of nowhere and blindsided me. I haven't like a guy in a long time - so I just don't know what do with all of this. Any ideas?
Here I am at Sam's Boathouse in Addison, TX.
What I do know is that I like him. He is close, so close, to perfect. M popped up out of nowhere and blindsided me. I haven't like a guy in a long time - so I just don't know what do with all of this. Any ideas?
Here I am at Sam's Boathouse in Addison, TX.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I'm going to see OPRAH
Dudes, get a load of this... My friend, L, is engaged to this guy who works for the ABC Network in NYC. He used his "connections" and got me hooked up with some Oprah tickets. I'm going on October 26 with L and my two sisters. Isn't that kick ass!!!!!!????? This is a dream come true for me. I've been trying to see Oprah ever since I was in college.
Unfortunately, Harpo Studios does not release the topic of the show in advance. You just sorta find out when you get there. But I'm hoping it is something cool. Here is a list of acceptable topics for me:
Unfortunately, Harpo Studios does not release the topic of the show in advance. You just sorta find out when you get there. But I'm hoping it is something cool. Here is a list of acceptable topics for me:
- Jack Black - a real man with a cute tummy
- Super Psychotic Oprah Fans In the House!
- Blogs - the people who read them, the weirdos who write them
- The Men of Rescue Me - Some Without Shirts
But you know...those are just off the top of my head. I'll take anything really. Well, that's not entirely true. There are some topics I would not like. Such as the following:
- Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow Wedding Extravaganza
- Irregular Bowel Movements
- Tom Cruise's Open Forum
- When Your Spouse Wants A Sex Change
Anyway, expect a full report with photos towards the end of October. Go Oprah!!!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Just stuff...
Some really cool stuff has been going on lately...let's get rolling with it....
I got a kick ass TiVo for freeeeeee! I was all excited and I even forked over the Three Hundy lifetime subscription fee. Then that TiVo crapped out on me. I called customer service and they actually told me I had a "gremlin" in my TiVo box. Man, that Gremlins movie scared the shit out of me as a child. How the hell could that dude say that to me? Anyway, I almost gave up entirely and got my money back. Then I even thought about taking the TiVo apart just so I could see the proverbial gremlin. But I got it all working again. And I LOVE me some TiVo now. That thing is going to change my whole perspective of television. The shows I used to give up on -just because of bad timing- will now have a chance.
Man, I signed up for some belly dancing classes. I shit you not. We meet on Thursday nights from 6 - 7 p.m. for 8 weeks straight - my first class is at the end of the month. I have to buy a scarf set and one of those skirts with the bells on the hips. How cool is that? I was kinda bummed about the class time because I'm gonna miss the first part of The O.C. But that's what TiVo is for...right?? See what I mean about changing my television perspective?
I went to the MAC Cosmetics store in a mall near my house. Girls in the world, hear my words: get to a MAC Store and load up. That stuff is like magic in a bottle/powder/pencil etc. Truly amazing stuff. Anyway... my girl friend G told me that MAC was having some kind of promotional event at the store. So we went. As soon as we walked in, they offered us a drink. And it was not some watered down kool-aid in a dixie cup. It was Bacardi Limon with punch! So we hit the drinks right away. Then this dude came out wearing nothing but the tiniest shorts I've ever seen. This dude must have stolen the shorts from Lara Flynn Boyle. Anyway, he had his whole body painted with a variety of browns, yellows and oranges. His hair had twigs and moss in it...he kinda looked like a hunky tree that came to life. Except that he was carrying a tray of fruit. I felt weird taking food from him so I declined and stuck to the Bacardi.
I've got some cool things coming up soon... I was asked to be a Godmother to my nephew. That's at the end of the month. Oh! And I'm planning a visit to see M the hottie firefighter. M lives about 6 hours from me so this is going to take some serious planning and serious gas money. Talk to you guys soon.
I got a kick ass TiVo for freeeeeee! I was all excited and I even forked over the Three Hundy lifetime subscription fee. Then that TiVo crapped out on me. I called customer service and they actually told me I had a "gremlin" in my TiVo box. Man, that Gremlins movie scared the shit out of me as a child. How the hell could that dude say that to me? Anyway, I almost gave up entirely and got my money back. Then I even thought about taking the TiVo apart just so I could see the proverbial gremlin. But I got it all working again. And I LOVE me some TiVo now. That thing is going to change my whole perspective of television. The shows I used to give up on -just because of bad timing- will now have a chance.
Man, I signed up for some belly dancing classes. I shit you not. We meet on Thursday nights from 6 - 7 p.m. for 8 weeks straight - my first class is at the end of the month. I have to buy a scarf set and one of those skirts with the bells on the hips. How cool is that? I was kinda bummed about the class time because I'm gonna miss the first part of The O.C. But that's what TiVo is for...right?? See what I mean about changing my television perspective?
I went to the MAC Cosmetics store in a mall near my house. Girls in the world, hear my words: get to a MAC Store and load up. That stuff is like magic in a bottle/powder/pencil etc. Truly amazing stuff. Anyway... my girl friend G told me that MAC was having some kind of promotional event at the store. So we went. As soon as we walked in, they offered us a drink. And it was not some watered down kool-aid in a dixie cup. It was Bacardi Limon with punch! So we hit the drinks right away. Then this dude came out wearing nothing but the tiniest shorts I've ever seen. This dude must have stolen the shorts from Lara Flynn Boyle. Anyway, he had his whole body painted with a variety of browns, yellows and oranges. His hair had twigs and moss in it...he kinda looked like a hunky tree that came to life. Except that he was carrying a tray of fruit. I felt weird taking food from him so I declined and stuck to the Bacardi.
I've got some cool things coming up soon... I was asked to be a Godmother to my nephew. That's at the end of the month. Oh! And I'm planning a visit to see M the hottie firefighter. M lives about 6 hours from me so this is going to take some serious planning and serious gas money. Talk to you guys soon.
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