my little life

51 Days!

2011-04-21T23:26:00.003-05:00

In about 50 days we'll meet our son! He is scheduled to arrive on my Dad's birthday, June 11. But you never know about due dates... they tend to shift and change depending on the baby's development. Also, we have a very large, healthy boy on our hands. He's about a week ahead in development so the chances of him arriving early are very high. I guess we'll see. In the meantime, we're preparing as best we can and getting his nursery ready. Since my hubby is a fireman, the nursery is a fire truck theme and it's coming together quite nicely!

We're still on the fence about names. I sort of envy those who have already chosen names for their future children and know exactly what they plan to name them. That is so not M and me. I guess we'll have to wait and see on that one, too.

Here's the funny part about this pregnancy: our doctor was featured on an episode of "16 and Pregnant." In December, I was flipping channels and landed on MTV. I heard a girl say that she lived in McKinney, TX and that her relatives in Harlingen, TX were going to adopt her baby. Since it had a local connection to me, I continued watching. Much to my surprise, when the teen went into labor and the doctor came in, it was MY doctor! The hubby and I were totally surprised to see him! So if you happen to catch Ashley's episode of "16 and Pregnant" you will see my doctor and have a much too personal look at what I'll be going through in about 7 weeks.

Here is a pic of our little guy at 31 weeks:

Three is a Magic Number

2011-01-30T23:37:00.007-06:00

After five years of dating, M and I eloped! We had been discussing it for a while and knew that a big wedding was not the way to go for us. Not my style. Fortunately, not M's style, either. So we told our family to meet us at a beautiful chapel in Austin on a sunny fall afternoon. We exchanged vows in front of our parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. It was perfect.

Granted, they were absolutely shocked when we told them they were invited to our elopement. The rest of our family/friends were equally shocked when we informed them (mostly via text-message and Facebook after the ceremony) that we had tied the knot! But they were all excited and happy for us.

As for M and I, we are excited about our life together and we're starting a family. Our son is due in June 2011! M truly is the love of my life and I am eternally grateful that I was blessed with him. There simply are not many men like him and I'm blissfully happy knowing that he's mine and the father of my child.

Nosy, Rude Or Both?

2010-07-26T19:07:00.002-05:00

I recently bumped into someone I've known for a while. I don't see her too often but when we do see each other, it's usually not planned and a real "bump in" situation. Every time she sees me, she asks about M but not in a nice way. It's always a steady stream of questions that go something like this - all in ONE breath:

"Hey, C! How are you? How's M? Did he pop the question? Are you getting married? Do you discuss marriage? How long has it been now? Shouldn't you be concerned about having babies?"

Then she just pauses and waits for me to answer. I usually give her a puzzled smile because I honestly do not know which question I should answer first as she asked 7 rapid fire questions without giving me an opportunity to answer even one of them. On this most recent "bump in" I responded with, "Why don't you ever ask if we're happy?" She seemed stunned and made a quick excuse to get out of the situation. I don't understand why certain married people find it necessary to badger single people about not being married. It's not like I go around asking married people why they aren't divorced yet.

Perhaps those married people are unhappy and want someone to commiserate with. Perhaps they find marriage to be a drag and want someone else to be in that club with them. Like when you're eating something that tastes bad and you say to the person sitting next to you, "Taste this, it's awful!"

Or maybe they are just concerned. A lot of people in our society believe there's something "wrong" with people who are not married and don't have kids by a certain age. My friend C, who is more like family, recently spoke to a man in San Antonio, TX who chided her and all "career women" for not putting marriage and kids as the top priority in life. And yet, he himself was divorced.

Are they nosy? Are they rude? Is it a little bit of both? I call it rude. And as I told my friend C, she should have kindly reminded that stupid man that it's two thousand and f'ing TEN, not 1910. It's not even 1950:

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deCHQdZuXog )

5 Things CC Taught Me

2010-03-12T19:47:00.002-06:00

1. Red lights are optional in Corpus Christi. If you’re at a red light and no one is coming, you can just go on through the intersection. That annoying red light is more like an illuminated stop sign. I actually felt weird for staying at the red light while waiting for it to turn green. I simply could not bring myself to run it.

2. The only Mexican bakery in CC that still does pink cake correctly is the Michoacán. There are new variations of pink cake that I’ve found at different Mexican bakeries all over Texas. But, luckily, the original can still be found in CC. If you spot original pink cake in your neck of the woods, you must tell me.

3. Santa Selena (Saint Selena) is real if you believe. She is like the Santa Claus of Corpus Christ. Her grave is a regular spot for locals and tourists to visit. By the way, her grave is creepy and I won’t apologize for saying that. Her memorial statue is equally popular but a little less creepy. And people still jam out to her music, paint murals of her all over the city and I know someone who carries a pic of her in his wallet.

4. If you’re into people watching, you should hit up the Saratoga Bingo Hall. I went twice and will continue to go there. It’s as good as airport people watching! They bust out their lucky charms and have an entire gaming system that fascinates me. Have I ever won money from that bingo hall? No. Have I ever laughed so much I cried there? Hell-to-the-yes!

5. Pack your fat pants. Like New Orleans, you will eat. A LOT. This city has some of the best Mexican food (not necessarily Tex-Mex) and you just can’t help yourself. It’s the same with the pink cake; you won't be able to say no. But, most importantly, they have HEB Plus which is the most awesome grocery store in America. You’ll go in there and buy things just because you can. And why shouldn’t you?

5 Things NOLA Taught Me

2010-03-08T15:11:00.004-06:00

1. Traveling to New Orleans, LA by car could mean hours added to your road trip. Especially if there is something going on, like a football game or a concert. We happened to be going there when the Cowboys played the Saints. The traffic was a nightmare and most of them were Saints fans who lived outside of NOLA. Good thing I wasn’t in my car with my Cowboys antenna ball. And I guess it was a good thing we didn't go to the game because the Cowboys won and we were probably their only fans in NOLA.

2. Café du Monde is always packed... except maybe when the Saints are playing. The café is typically overflowing with people but we walked right in and seated ourselves. The game was in the 4th quarter and the café was dead. There was only one other couple in the café and they looked like they just arrived from the set of Gilligan’s Island. Seriously, they were eerily similar to this. But I have to say that those little beignets are worth the wait and live up to the hype. AMAZING!

3. You can and should walk around with your adult beverage. You can buy wine, cocktails and other adult beverages just about everywhere including pharmacies, gas stations and small “walk ups.” (Imagine a hot dog vendor or snow cone stand that sells only mixed drinks.) As long as your beverage of choice is NOT in a glass container, you’re able to take it with you as you go; even from bar to bar.

4. A bicycle is the best way to see the city. We went on a bike tour with the Confederacy of Cruisers (named after the novel A Confederacy of Dunces about NOLA). It was AWESOME. We cruised through quiet neighborhoods and got a taste of the true Big Easy. Our tour guide rocked and it was my favorite part of the trip. But do it sober; it may be the Big Easy but you still can’t drink and drive.

5. Pack your fat pants. You will eat. And eat. And eat some more. This city has a wide range of restaurants that go from street carts to upscale dining and they’re all outstanding. You will try to restrain yourself but trust me, it will be for naught. Just open up your trap and give in. You will thank me later.

Word.

2010-01-14T21:15:00.001-06:00

Today I heard some people talking about going out to lunch and burritos came up as an option. Chipotle was their winner but they didn’t pronounce it correctly. It came out as ‘chip-pole-tee’ and the correct pronunciation is 'chip-oat-lay.' Ugh.

Last month, I was at a Christmas party and I heard this woman talking to some children about Santa Claus. Only, she pronounced it as ‘san-tee’ instead of ‘san-tuh.’ Sigh.

This season on Top Chef, I noticed several of the contestants prepared ceviche. Only, they didn’t pronounce it correctly. They said ‘suh-veech’ instead of ‘seh-veech-eh.’ Groan.

And those are just the ones off the top of my head. There are more out there, I’m sure of it! What I am not sure of is why I am bothered by the way people mispronounce certain words. Perhaps it is linked to people calling me by the wrong name on a daily basis. I’ve been called Carla, Clarissa, Claire, Clarice and several other variations of the name Clara. Several of my coworkers, who have known me over 7 years, still don’t get it right.

Either way, there is just no excuse for saying “supposeBly” when the word is clearly spelled s-u-p-p-o-s-e-D-l-y.

Yes, Viginia, There Is A Rule About Drinking At Graduation

2009-12-23T22:47:00.004-06:00

I graduated on Dec. 19 with my second Master's degree. It was a chilly day in Beaumont, TX and I rushed to get into the auditorium. We were divided into rooms based on the degree you were receiving and your last name. In my room, we had a lot of no-shows so we all just kinda sat around and talked.

As we were lining up, a woman came rushing in. She was running late and made it just in time. Her hair was all the way to her knees and she was carrying a wrinkled graduation gown and chugging a cold bottled coffee.

It turns out this long haired woman, Virginia, was full on drunk. At 9:30 a.m. Turns out that Starbucks drink was not just coffee. Virginia proceeded to tell us, in great detail, stories of her family, her stresses through grad school and other personal problems.

As luck would have it, Virginia sat next to me at the graduation. Our last names are not even close in the alphabet, but because of all the no-shows, she was my neighbor. The ceremony was in the opening phase when Virginia pulled up her graduation gown, hiked up her skirt and pulled a cell phone out of her thigh-highs. We were strictly told not take cell phones, but Virginia found a way.

It was time to go across the stage. (By the way, M got it on video and will post it soon.) As we were waiting in line to go across, some of our professors were sitting near the line. They were shaking the hands of the graduates and giving us a, "Congratulations!" as we walked by. But not Virginia. She reached over and did a full on hug. The kind of hug you get from a drunk relative at Christmas. And she didn't just hug one professor, she hugged them all- even the ones that were not from the education department.

Needless to say, Virgina made that graduation the funniest one yet... and thankfully, I do have a basis for comparison. There were other ceremonies that were more sentimental, like the first Master's where I sat next to one of my sweetest friends. Or my Bachelor's graduation when my brother yelled, "Way to go Munchkin" and everyone laughed. But this one, with drunk Virginia, was the funniest. Thanks, Virginia!

After the ceremony, I joined my family and M for lunch. The graduation was actually really short and didn't last all afternoon like some ceremonies. During lunch, I told my family about Virginia and we all laughed. I couldn't help but wonder what Virginia was having for lunch.

The Christmas Wish List - 2009

2009-11-30T17:50:00.003-06:00

Buckle up, kids. After a one-year hiatus, the Christmas wish list makes its second appearance. I mainly do this for M, my sweet babboo, who never knows what to get me. Also, it's a fun way to share some of the things I've spotted during 2009 that would make a fun gift for anyone. Here we go...

1. This awesome sleeping bag to be used only by nerdy Star Wars fans, like yours truly.

2. This t-shirt needs no explanation, as it is already a classic.

3. This movie is still a family favorite. We used to have it on VHS but it was eaten by a VCR in 1998.

4. This cool jewelry thingy caught my eye and I WANT IT!

5. I think anyone would enjoy this piece of interactive clothing.

6. You can do me a solid and make a donation to my favorite charity, The March of Dimes.

Merry Christmas!

Always a Line for the Ladies Room

2009-10-27T19:13:00.001-05:00

I went to at a training session in a different building. The training session consisted of five whole days but they spread those days out over 2 weeks. During our daily sessions, we would get 15-minute breaks. And without fail, the guys always commented on how long it took us girls to get in and out of the bathroom. So, I decided to write this post for them. Especially Mr. Know-It-All Guy from Garland.

First of all, it is most important to note that the main time suck in a women’s restroom are all those fancy automatic things that have become the norm in public restrooms. Allow me to explain that along with the other factors that cause those looong lines. And since this is bathroom talk, it may get ugly.

When a woman walks into a public restroom, there are four things that must be in place before we can commit to one stall.

1. There cannot be anything, and I mean anything, on the toilet seat or floating in the bowl. Why? Because we actually have to sit down, naked on the seat. We could potentially sit on something grody or something grody could splash up on us. Eww!

2. There must be toilet paper in the stall.

3. If toilet seats covers are available, there must be some in the container.

4. The door must lock. Can you imagine sitting there naked and someone pushes the door open? Not pretty.

If any of those items are not in place, we immediately back out of the stall and try the next one. Once we are committed to a stall, we have to remove every item of clothing from the waist down. And we have to be careful that our clothing (at knee level) doesn’t touch the toilet. Also, there is a very delicate amount of time between placing the toilet seat cover on the seat and then sitting down. If you place the cover on too soon, it can slide right into the bowl. Once everything is in order, we do our business and then proceed to get dressed.

With the invention of automatic flushing came yet another thing to add to the already crammed timing in the restroom. There are 4 basic problems with flushing.

1. The automatic flusher sometimes does not flush. So you have to stand there and wiggle around in hopes of setting off the sensor. If that does not work, you have to get a piece of toilet paper and hold it while pushing the flusher button.

2. The automatic flusher goes off too early. So you have to jump up as fast as possible in hopes of avoiding the unintentional bidet.

3. There is no automatic flusher – it is the old school knob. You have to get a piece of toilet paper and hold it while flushing or you can flush with your shoe. Just kick up that foot!

4. The flusher is broken. That is a whole other nightmare that has to be dealt with because the ladies waiting in line will know that you are the one who left a potty present.

Once things have been flushed and we are dressed, we exit the stall and proceed to the sink. We have to wash our hands with soap and dry them off. There are four things that can go wrong here.

1. The automatic soap and water dispensers are not only picky, but also greedy. You have to hold your hand in just the right spot so the sensor will give you one tiny squirt of soap. So you have to keep at it until you get enough soap. The automatic water dispensers are designed to conserve water. But you simply cannot get the soap off your hands with the small amount of water they provide. So you could be there a while trying to get the sensor to give you just enough water to rinse off.

2. The automatic paper towel dispensers do not recognize you and will not give you a paper towel. Sometimes you have to stand there and wiggle your wet hand around the sensor until some paper scoots out of the machine.

3. The automatic dryers are a good thing. Good for the environment and good for the clean up crew. However, they are disgusting because water pools on the floor just below them. They take a really long time and they still don’t do a good job of drying your hands. Other ladies are in line waiting for the dryers so we abort mission and exit the bathroom. And can’t help but squirm when touching the already wet door knob.

4. The automatic dryers are broken and/or there are no paper towels. This is particularly annoying if you notice it after having washed your hands. You gotta do the “dog shake off” and hope for the best.

So you see, a lot of the delay in women’s restrooms is caused by timing – it has to be just right. The automatic things that were installed in hopes of moving the process along have only made it worse. Plus, the whole issue of getting fully undressed then redressed is a problem… especially if you’re wearing tights or leggings.

Oh and we didn’t even get into hair/makeup checks and the fragile subject of “that time of the month.” I will spare you. But just know that these issues are just a part of what we deal with in a public restroom and that’s just the way it is. Now pass me some toilet paper from under the stall wall; I’m out.

It's Over!

2009-09-18T17:23:00.002-05:00

Over the last 18 months, I have been married to Lamar University. I'm sad to say that there were times when I contemplated throwing in the towel and getting a quickie divorce. It just didn't seem worth it. I was doing all this work and Lamar was putting nothing into the relationship. When Lamar did choose to speak to me, it was always in an e-mail and would unwittingly accused me of doing things wrong. However, I knew a quickie divorce would be messy... especially if I tried to hook up with a new university later on.

So I stuck it out. I knew that I could win if I just held out long enough. And I did. My final project, which I like to call the Divorce Decree, was a 23-page paper and it was submitted earlier today. The class doesn't officially end until next week, but I wanted to jump ahead to end this thing properly. There is such a thing as a civilized divorce.

I did go through 8 high-lighters and 14 reams of paper to get this second Master's degree. Oh, and it also cost me one social life. But I must say that it's nice to have my life back. I'm feeling excited about the possibilities and anxious to see what the next chapter is in my little life.

The Return of Rocky the Raccoon!

2009-08-06T19:14:00.002-05:00

Well, I only thought Rocky had left me for good. He's back in full force and had a full-on bachelor party in my attic last night. It honestly scared the crap out of me at first.

I called an exterminator and he told me that they do some sort of bomb that "stinks them out." I don't know exactly what that means as raccoons are not the scrub-a-dub type. But after a lengthy conversation with Matt, exterminator extraordinaire, I hired him.

It turns out he won't hurt or harm Rocky in any way. He just gets Rocky out and sends him on his way... to find the next party place. Then Matt actually patches up the point of entry and Rocky is officially locked out. I explained that I had tried to lock Rocky out before and, evidently, he found his way back in. Matt guarantees that his lockout is fool-proof and Rocky-proof. I'll let you know how that goes.

In the meantime, I need to invest in some good ear plugs because Rocky is like an inconsiderate, nocturnal guest that overstays his welcome and eats you out of house and home. Literally.

The Post for Livia

2009-07-17T15:52:00.002-05:00

Ok. The secret is out. The friend I refer to as L in my blog is actually Livia. She is the coolest thing that ever happened to the Texas Panhandle. And she asked me to update my blog so here I am.

I have been swamped with my second Master's. That degree takes up all my free time and I'm ready for it to be over with. I kinda just want my normal life back. It seems that this grad school schedule makes me kinda grumpy.

For example, last month I found my temper flaring and I almost barked at a girl that made me mad. Typically I keep my cool or just blow things off. But that girl crossed paths with me on the wrong day - just before a big assignment was due. And I nearly went into attack mode.

It's weird for me not to like somebody. I mean, there are people I really don't like (I'm looking at you Jessica Alba, Latina Magazine and Nicholas Cage) but it's not as if I know them personally. This girl is someone I know personally and I was ready to poke her eyes out with a fork. That's a very odd and unusual feeling for me.

But it's ok. I'm in the early part of class #11 and I have to complete 12 classes. I really am close to being done. And I have a notepad full of things I want to blog about when I have my life back. But in the meantime, I hope this post for Livia will make her happy enough to share that Taco Villa burrito with me.

What April Showers Brought Me

2009-04-28T21:36:00.001-05:00

Things that are ticking me off:

1. The person in my office who keeps warming up some sort of stinky tuna concoction, allows it to overflow in the microwave, then refuses to clean up the spill.

2. My current grad school class that has not been like any of the others. This one has 3 professors in charge of it and that was just the first of many red flags.

3. The squirrels and raccoons who are in a full-blown turf war for the creek in my backyard.

Things that are helping me forget about being ticked off:

1. Discount Easter candy at the grocery store. And at CVS. And the ones stuck to the bottom of my nephew's Easter basket.

2. My friends who are rounding out the first month of spring with pictures of their babies in sunglasses.

3. The upcoming Flight of the Conchords concert. It's on May 5 - Cinco de Mayo!! Should I dress accordingly?

What's That Smell?

2009-04-01T21:46:00.007-05:00

One of my favorite things to do is read the newspaper on a slow, weekend afternoon. A while back, I walked out of my front door on a Saturday morning to get the newspaper (which is always at the very end of the driveway) and saw this:

Nice, huh? Well, last weekend, I stepped out of the front door to go get the paper and I got a whiff of something awful. It honestly smelled like someone had pooped on my front porch. I thought it might be a gift from one of the neighborhood dogs - or kids. But I couldn't find anything. As I walked to the end of the driveway, the odor got even more pungent.

Then I realized my neighbor across the street had a rake in his hand and was turning the soil in his compost pile! In his FRONT yard! The smell was so bad I actually gagged.

I have seen the circular shaped thing in his yard before but I thought it was the remnants of an old tree that had been removed. At times, there are faint odors circling the neighborhood but I thought it was coming from one of the neighborhood trash bins. But no. It's the compost pile. The stinkiest, grossest compost pile this side of Rio Grande. I actually feel even more sorry for the guy who lives right next door to him. Check it:

Don't get me wrong. I understand composting and why it's important. I am pro-compost piles. But I am anti-stinky ones in the front yard. Icky.

To Walk Or Not To Walk

2009-03-18T18:55:00.002-05:00

Things here in nerdville are moving right along. This idea for a second Master's degree is a little nuts but, as you know, I'm the eternal nerd so I would not have it any other way.

I am close to the end of grad school class #8 and it's hard to believe that I did all of that in just 11 months! It takes 5 weeks to get through one class so they are rigorous and fast-paced. But the good thing is that all of my classes are really interesting. So even though I complain sometimes, I do enjoy what I am learning and I even enjoy the assignments. (Mostly, my complaints are that I don't have any free time. And I have to take my school work with me everywhere I go... like a true geek.)

Here's the kicker... once I complete 12 classes, I'm done. I have the sinking suspicion that my parents want me to walk at the graduation ceremony and I don't want to do it. I did participate in the full swing of graduation ceremonies twice! (When I finished college and grad school.) But a third time might do me in. So I did a pros and cons list - which would look totally different if my mom had done it.

Pros:

My nephews and nieces can be there and actually remember it.
I have family in the town where the university is located.

Cons:

I have to buy invitations, a cap, gown and graduate sash.
The town where the university is located is 5 hours away.
We have to sit through a long ceremony.

What do you think? Should I walk again?

Spoiled Milk

2009-02-10T21:54:00.002-06:00

I'm in the closet right now. I literally am sitting in my closet with M because there is a tornado nearby. The sirens went off, we grabbed Pedro the parakeet and ran to the closet. While I'm in here, I thought it would be a good time to tell the story about Milk.

M and I went to see the movie Milk. I've been eager to see it and we finally got tickets over the weekend to a 10:15 p.m. showing. We bought our tickets early and went to have some cocktails. At 9:50 we went back to the theater and handed over our tickets. The Angelika theater employee said, "Theater 3 on the left." We went straight into the theater and realized that the previous showing was not yet over. And we happened to walk in right at THE pivotal point of the movie!! I was so pissed at that girl for taking our tickets and telling us to go right on in. Ugh!! Sigh. Groan.

Don't get me wrong, most people know the history of Harvey Milk and how his story ends. But to see it happening on film right as we walked in was such a bummer. It spoiled Milk for me. However, the movie was still awesome. Go see it. And recruit a friend to go with you.

Update: Sirens went off so I'm off. I have homework.

Spotted: Rocky the Raccoon

2009-01-05T17:56:00.005-06:00

If you will recall, it was about a year ago that I found raccoons in my attic. I was mortified because those little things are known to cause all kinds of electrical and structural damage. Anyhoo... my dad and M worked very hard to close up all the vents so that the raccoons would not use my attic as their honeymoon suite.

However, I recently spotted Rocky (as M has named him) trying to get into one of the eave vents. Obviously, it didn’t work and only his body was able to cram into that tight space. He is clearly embarrassed and allowed me to snap this quick picture before he fell right out of there.

Kennedy and Me

2008-12-03T20:42:00.002-06:00

I must admit I was really ready for this birthday to be over with. You see, Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963. More than ten years later, I was born on that same date. Over the years it has been a bummer to wake up on my birthday with newspaper headlines that read, “Today America Mourns.”

This year marks the 45th anniversary of Kennedy’s death and lots of people (by that I mean the media) in DFW can’t stop talking about it. Our local news discussed all the tourist traffic in Dealey Plaza and the Sixth Floor Museum which were suddenly hot spots. Also, one news station interviewed the police officer who was handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald at the time of his shooting. Suddenly, it seemed as if JFK’s ghost was all over town.

The whole idea of someone being killed that way is creepy and to have video of it played over and over on your birthday is no fun. I do understand how Dallas and its people were changed after November 22, 1963. It happened here so here is where they will talk about it a lot. But JFK’s ghost was creeping me the hell out.

It was a good thing that I made plans to stay out of Dallas during the weekend of my birthday. And just so you know, people in other cities don't make a fuss over the 45th anniversary of JFK’s death. Maybe they just have a different way of reflecting on it or perhaps they aren't particularly interested. Either way, it was a nice to celebrate without a Jack Ruby-tini on the cocktail menu.

1, 2, 3 ..... FRIDA!

2008-11-20T18:09:00.002-06:00

In our own lives, there are things that stay deep within us. Problems, sorrows and painful events that we are afraid to talk about because they are too agonizing. We don’t even think about them because they hurt too much. But Frida Kahlo took the painful things in her life and painted them; exposing her most vulnerable and most tender spots. She allows all of us to go deep within her soul to feel those sorrows and understand what her life was like. It has been a dream of mine to attend a Frida Kahlo exhibit because I have always been fascinated by the brutal and beautiful honesty of her paintings.

Frida Kahlo’s exhibit in San Francisco was so popular that you had to buy a ticket for a specific time. In order to control the heavy foot traffic going in and out of the museum, you could only enter the exhibit at the time stamped on your ticket. We had a 1:00 p.m. start time and at 12:45 a short line was already forming inside the museum. My heart was pounding and I could hardly wait to get in. Around the corner I could see two of her paintings and that made me even more anxious.

The guy taking the tickets saw me and looked at the time on my ticket. He said, “It’s only 12:50, you know.” I smiled and explained that I was excited and just couldn’t wait. He took my ticket, and as he ripped the side off he said, “Three, two, one, FRIDA!” He opened the gate and I flew through.

As you slowly drift from painting to painting, you feel as if you are reading someone’s journal. You are going through the life of an outspoken woman who endured unthinkable pain, suffered tremendous losses, had outstanding gains, beat many odds and was usually circled in controversy. You see the deepest, darkest places of her life and no matter how tragic or beautiful, you can’t look away.

I walked up to “Henry Ford Hospital” in which Frida painted the excruciating pain of one of her many miscarriages. Previously, I could only glance at prints of the painting because it was so filled with heartache I could hardly stand it. But as I stood in front of the real thing, I gazed at it for what seemed like days. I ached for Frida and for the people I know who have gone through that. I had a glimpse of what it means to endure that kind of sorrow and I wept. I found many others in the room were weeping, too.

I saw my favorite painting “The Love Embrace of the Universe, the Earth (Mexico), Myself, Diego and Señor Xólotl” and was amazed by the emotion seeping out of it. Frida’s devotion and undying love for Diego Rivera is obvious in this painting as in many other paintings. But in this one, I also see balance and a mutual need for each other. I see a natural and spiritual connection between them. To me, this painting is a touching love story.

Many times I am asked why I like Frida’s paintings. Some people have told me that her work is “too bloody” and “makes no sense.” I admit that Frida’s paintings are intense but that is what sets them apart. Her work doesn’t just speak; it screams. It weeps. Her paintings are alive and they give you a humbling, honest look into a woman’s life whose deep-rooted issues were not always pretty. Sometimes life is brutal and difficult to look at. Sometimes it is as vibrant and fresh as her painting, “Viva La Vida - The Watermelons.” Either way, her paintings are the real Frida and an invitation to see life through different eyes.

San. Fran. Thank you, ma'am.

2008-11-04T21:29:00.005-06:00

In early September, my friend D and I had a very quick trip to San Francisco. We landed on a Friday and were gone by Sunday. Our main reason for going was to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I will need a whole different post to cover Frida so for now, let’s talk about San Pancho.

Our stay was less than 48 hours long but we crammed a lot in there. The museum, Lombard Street, Fisherman’s Wharf, Alcatraz, Golden Gate Bridge, cable cars, sourdough bread and more Painted Ladies than I could count. (Ahem, these Painted Ladies - get your mind out of the gutter.)

The thing I like about San Francisco is the public transportation. I’m a big fan of trains, buses, mass transit, etc… and San Fran has done it right. It was super easy to get around and super cheap. Oh, and it is super crowded so I hope you don’t mind odd smells or the occasional inappropriate graze.

The thing that surprised me about San Francisco was the weird hours they keep. It was around 8:00 p.m. California time on a Friday night and we wanted to grab a quick bite near our hotel in the shopping district. We were exhausted and didn’t feel like making a big deal out of dinner. After walking around several blocks, we found that all the restaurants had closed around 7. We actually had to eat at an ice skating rink concession stand that night. Gross!

The thing I really dislike about San Francisco was their weather. They have a horrible climate there – on one block you are sweating bullets and on another block you are covered up with scarves and gloves. You have to be prepared for all kinds of weather in just one day and when you are traveling, that is a lot to carry around. In fact, carrying the cold weather clothes was so cumbersome that I actually lost my scarf. As I type this, someone in the Haight/Ashbury district is cozying up with my $3 Old Navy scarf.

The thing I love about San Francisco is their diversity. There are so many different cultures there and each seems to have their own neighborhood. Their diversity brings such interesting people, foods, traditions and lifestyles into one city. Way cool! They are so different but live so harmoniously. Well, except maybe this guy.

On Sunday, we got to the airport and discovered that our plane was delayed. That caused us to miss our connecting flight in L.A. After several heated conversations and much stress, they were able to get us to L.A. and then we had to fly to Albuquerque. From there we flew to Denver. From there we finally flew into Dallas. We were supposed to have landed in DFW at 6:00 p.m. on Sunday but instead we landed on Monday at 1:00 a.m. After four flights in 12 hours across 4 states, it was only fitting that they lost our luggage and it wasn’t returned to us until Tuesday. Fun!

Frida and me hanging out by Alcatraz.

The last pic of my scarf.

Lombard Street

My Beef With Latina Magazine

2008-10-29T20:46:00.003-05:00

I got my first subscription to Latina magazine as a gift. I liked the mag and when that gift subscription ran out, I paid to renew it. About 2 months into my paid subscription, Latina magazine fired their editor and hired a new one. I certainly don't know anything about the world of magazines or journalism, but I've seen enough episodes of Ugly Betty to know that a new editor likes to make a splash.

The new editor's splash was to put Jessica Alba on the cover. Throughout the interview, the editor danced around those anti-Latino comments Jessica made and tried to spin it as if it were some misunderstanding. The whole interview felt like the editor was bullying the reader into thinking she was at fault for wrongly judging Jessica. I was ready to cancel my subscription but decided to give the magazine a fair chance.

Things were going ok until the September 2008 issue with Eva Longoria on the cover. In the interview -which felt more like an Eva infomercial- Eva described herself by saying, "I'm a 1950s housewife." I call bullshit. Eva is not a housewife - she is employed full time with no children. Eva is a DINK: double income, no kids. (And that income happens to be in the millions.) The whole interview was a sales pitch. They were spinning it to paint her as Angelina-in-the-orphanage and Eva is much more like Gold-digger-at-the-country club.

I was glad when one of my favorite blogs, Guanabee, called Eva out on that stupid comment and the many asinine things she said in that interview. As Guanabee said, many women in the 1950s were not even given the opportunity to have a career. Women of color in the 1950s had even fewer opportunities. Also, for someone in Eva's position to make comments like that is an insult to the women I know who really are housewives and mothers - which is the hardest job on the planet and they do it without millions and without outside help.

But Latina Magazine struck back in the November 2008 issue in the "Letters to the Editor" section. The mag brought up Guanabee's insightful comments but they also threw in that "Latina readers had nothing but love" for Eva and quoted a reader who wrote in about "lovely" Eva's "humility." I guess it was her humility that made her showed off her ring for a Microsoft commercial. (:30 into the clip)

I don't like being bullied into liking Jessica Alba. I don't like an interview that turns out to be a commercial for a fake product. Those are good tricks but they should save it for somebody else that is stupid enough to fall for it. And clearly, that's not me.

My Nieces

2008-10-05T16:01:00.007-05:00

When my brother told me he was going to fight for full custody of his two daughters, I thought he was in for the fight of his life. In Texas, as in most states, it's extremely difficult for fathers to gain full custody. Plus, proving a mother is unfit is no small thing.

But after several years, several court hearings and several thousands of dollars he WON! (And it is totally true that his lawyer's name is Sharpie.) My brother now has full custody of my two nieces and my former sister-in-law doesn't even have visitation rights anymore. Which is a GREAT thing because my nieces would have been safer with Amy Winehouse than with their own mother.

Anyway... that awesome news called for a family party complete with Celebration Chicken. (Our family tradition of celebrating with a little pollo from the Azteca Meat Market.) It's so great to think that my nieces now have a real chance at a more stable, normal life and they can complete a full year of school without having to move at all.

I feel really blessed to be able to call them anytime I want, visit them, celebrate holidays with them, buy them clothes, spoil them, and all the other things aunts do. I could never even have a relationship with them before and now I get to have ALL of that and I just can't wait. My first mission for them: Halloween costumes! And to convince one of them to be Wonder Woman.

Peace, Man!

2008-09-26T17:54:00.003-05:00

Well, the Nerd War of 2008 has ended peacefully. It required a bit of a compromise. A Geneva Geek Conference, if you will. The professor came at us with everything in his arsenal but the Dean served as Switzerland and helped us reach an agreement.

It is a long story and typing it here would give me carpal tunnel syndrome. And why would you want me to get that? I just got back from the war! But basically...the professors had to agree to change some things on the exam and grade on a curve. We had to accept that some questions on the exam were simply not going to be changed. We were also given an extension on our final assignment to make it stellar for as many points as possible.

To be perfectly honest, I already had an A in the class. But there were some people who were between an A and a B and us nerds were not going to settle for a B! This was a battle of principle, not necessarily grades. Fortunately, it ended well and there is peace once again in Geektopia.

On a side note: I made a trip to San Francisco with my girl friend D. We saw Frida Kahlo's exhibit and I took 4 plane rides in one day to get home. I'll tell you more in my next post. Until then, keep the peace!

The Nerd War

2008-09-07T20:33:00.004-05:00

So I'm in an all out war against my current professor. That dude does not know how to write exam questions. I'm in a class full of education professionals - we're trained on how to write questions. Poorly written questions on an exam just won't fly with us. And yet, this professor seems to think he's gonna let it get by. Twice! The mid-term and the final appear to have been written for some other class.

Here's the deal... his lecture notes say one thing while the state documentation says the opposite. Then the multiple choice question about that topic shows up on the test and the choices available are partly from his lecture and partly from the state docs. So which response is right?? Which would you choose? Would you side with the teacher's notes? Or stick with the state's documentation? So far, the answers are inconsistent. Sometimes the info from the lecture is listed as the correct response; sometimes the state docs are correct.

Needless to say, those inconsistencies have pissed us all off. There's nothing worse than a bunch of nerds with their panties in a bunch.

The Nerd War has stressed me out because I know we have a huge fight on our hands. The professor has refused to remove any questions from the exams because he claims they are all correct. The others in my class (about 200 people) are pissed and they are planning to fight. It's the first time I've ever had to do this and I hope our soldiers are as ready to fight as me.

To get my mind off the Nerd War, I decided to watch the MTV Video Music Awards. I got through about 50 minutes of it. The Jonas Brothers came on and were introduced as having this "historical performance." However, it looked and sounded like they were on Sesame Street - complete with guitars on the steps of a brownstone. Kermit and Elmo could have been singing it and I would not have noticed the difference. Or maybe that high pitched noise really was Kermit and Elmo!?

Wait a minute!!! Forget the VMA's. Mad Men is on tonight and I actually consume that instead of dinner. Yum!! Gotta go!

Seattle!! (Oh, and Canada)

2008-08-12T18:39:00.009-05:00

Two of my college buddies, D and A, live in Seattle. Another one, L, lives in Amarillo. I decided it was time for a mini-reunion in Seattle and, luckily, sweet L was eager to visit Seattle. M also wanted to go. So… I flew to Seattle with L and M on June 26.

We got there, rented a little car and drove straight to D’s house. I saw him last year in Texas but it was great to be on his turf…where he has been living for almost 9 years. That first night he took us to eat French fries with foie gras. Positively decadent!

Our friend, A, was nice enough to let us crash at her house on Alki Beach. She has lived in Seattle for about 10 years. Seeing her again was like a breath a fresh air. That leggy blonde is fun and is guaranteed to make you smile just by looking at her.

On June 27 we decided to drive into Canada and spend the night in Vancouver. I’m not sure what to say about Vancouver. I will only say this: If you are interested in the smell of piss baking in the sun, strung out bums smoking dope in a public park and paying $15 for a six pack, then Vancouver is your city! Also, if you like seeing police officers, beautiful landscapes and general cleanliness then go to Stanley Park or the Capilano Bridge – those are Vancouver’s best assets. One more thing – it took 2 hours to get across the border back into the U.S. because there are only a few lanes to pass through. Nightmare!

We drove back to Seattle and made a pit stop in Whidbey Island. We took the ferry over to the island and enjoyed a beautiful, relaxing day there. The quant little shops, the corner bar and the gorgeous ocean views were amazing. The only thing that looked better was L’s haircut! Her friend lives there and hooked L up with a great do!

Once we got back into Seattle, we had a few days to do all kinds of things. The Space Needle, Pike Place Market, the Freemont troll, the Olympic Sculpture Park, the piers, Archie McPhee’s Toy Store, Uwajimaya in the International District and a fun Mariners game at Safeco Field. We happened to be in Seattle during Gay Pride Week and we watched the Pride Parade. I’m still not sure how some of their floats were legal on the street.

We had a lot of fun but two things really stood out to me. One was the amazing food. D is a chef and knows where to go and what to order. We would have a fantastic dinner and believe that nothing could top it. Then D would take us to another restaurant and completely wow us again. It was worth the few extra pounds.

The second favorite was the night we hung out at A’s house. She got out her guitar and casually strummed. Then she started to sing in that same familiar voice that used to come through my dorm room walls. It was like hearing a lovely song that you hadn’t heard in years.

My unbelievable time in Seattle was just what I needed. It allowed us to have some hang out time with each other – which we have not done since college. My only regret is that we only had 5 days together. And we blew one in Canada. Oh well. Live and learn.

My Tennessee Waltz

2008-08-07T17:34:00.004-05:00

My family can tell you stories about the many road trips we took over the years. In the early 80s, we got a white Suburban and that thing drove us all over the U.S. for almost 20 years. Denver to visit my brother who was hospitalized there in his teens, my grandmother’s funeral in south Texas in 1994, and a spring break vacation to Las Vegas were just a few of our many destinations. Regardless of our ages or our destination, the one thing that remained constant on our road trips was the music.

My dad has a full-blown passion for music. He’s almost like a teenager who sees life without an iPod as punishment. His musical taste is extremely diverse but Johnny Cash, George Jones, Conway Twitty and Elvis are just a few of his favorites. Because dad played and sang those songs repetitively on our vacations over the years, they are now a symbol of my childhood. So it was with great excitement that I was able to visit Nashville, TN.

It was 39 degrees when my sister, C, and I landed in Nashville. Luckily, we packed coats, scarves and gloves. We got to our hotel and immediately felt as if we were in that horrible movie Bio-Dome. The Gaylord Opryland is an inexplicably large hotel and it was probably the worst hotel I’ve ever stayed at in my life. And that does include the hotel we stayed at in Santa Fe, NM in 1990, which is now condemned. The Opryland hotel is loud, over-priced and the employees are trained to respond, “I don’t know,” to any question. It’s pretty on the surface but really ugly deep inside, just like Jessica Alba.

C and I had plenty of time to explore the city. We walked through the famous Ryman Auditorium which was the original home of the Grand Ole Opry from 1943 – 1974. We attended a concert at the The Grand Ole Opry House which was built in 1974. At the concert we saw Martina McBride and Lee Greenwood sang, "I'm Proud To Be An American!" (That's him in the picture below.) We had a beer at the honky tonk bars with my old college buddy who lives in Nashville, we bought Johnny Cash prints in Ernest Tubb’s and we even stood in front of the famous Sun Recording Studios.

I admit I am not a huge fan of country music. The only country music I listen to is the old stuff – my dad’s stuff. But I have an appreciation for all music and Nashville is overflowing with musicians. The street corners are filled with singers and open guitar cases waiting for your loose change. The streets also have a scattering of bums. Many were shirtless or in shorts – even on the day it snowed!

Towards the end of our stay, it got warmer and the sun came out. It was fun to explore the city and not fuss with gloves and scarves. We toured the President Andrew Jackson exhibit at the Tennessee State Museum and bought the best pralines at a downtown candy store.

Throughout our visit, those old songs were buzzing in the stores, museums and honky tonks. It was almost like having our dad with us. My only regret is that he wasn’t able to go with us to Nashville. So, instead, I sang to him.

I'm Alive!

2008-08-04T20:50:00.002-05:00

Whew! It's been a while. Sorry about that. The last few months have been swamped with all kinds of things. Vacations, a funeral, grad school, a wedding and a little illness my doctor jokingly called an "airplane infection." Don't ask.

The good news is that things are finally starting to get into place. I've gotten into a rhythm with my grad school schedule. I only have one more vacation this year (San Francisco in September to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit). And just one more wedding in December that I happen to be officiating!

Hopefully I can get better with the whole blog thing. I have a couple of vacation stories to tell so I'll try to post those this week. I'm trying to decide which pics will accompany the blog...so many to choose from!

Anyhoo...I miss you. Call me soon!

Who Doesn't Love a View-Master?

2008-05-08T21:22:00.009-05:00

My friend J and I went to see Iron Man this weekend. To my delight, Robert Downey, Jr. proved to be a refreshing choice to play Iron Man. Unlike many comic book character movies (I'm looking at you, Spiderman franchise), Iron Man has actual dialog and even a few funny lines. It was great and I'm not surprised it has taken in over $200 million worldwide in five days. But there was one thing that caught my eye and had me feeling nostalgic throughout the movie. Iron Man/Tony Stark has a fancy light-uppy thing implanted in his chest. To me, it looks just like a View-Master disk. It made me wonder if I could flick Iron Man's thumb and see an image of Donald Duck in a bathtub coming from his chest. Another flick and there's Dumbo flying over the circus tent. Ah, memories.

I'm Not Kickin' It Old School

2008-04-27T20:14:00.004-05:00

Well, I have to say sorry for taking so long to blog lately. As you know, my life has been consumed by a certain Professor Crawford. She is a lovely lady (though I've only seen her in online video lectures) but she was not kidding when she said the coursework for this degree would be rigorous.

Back in the day when I got my Master's from UNT, I had to go to class 2 nights a week and did a lot of my homework on the weekends. I met my friend S at UNT and we kicked it old school. She and I took all our classes together, studied together, graduated together and even found the perfect bathroom stall on the 3rd floor of Matthews Hall. For some reason, that one stall had its own window and the others had boring brick walls. Man, I miss that stall.

Anyway... this new degree plan is definitely new school. Lamar University took their old school Education Administration degree plan and adjusted it to become an online course. I'm reading a lot of journal articles and books, writing papers, watching online lectures and I have at least 4 assignments due a week. One class is just 5 weeks long so the mid-term and final exams are only one week apart.

The coursework takes a good chunk of my time every single day but I was still kinda feeling disconnected from the class and its members. The class members and the 2 professors who planned the class will never meet in person. We do have a private online discussion board but none of the people in my class are interested in discussing bathroom stalls.

During the first few weeks of class, it felt as if I was not even in grad school. My brain was telling me that I needed to sit in a classroom to validate the experience. That was until I took the first mid-term exam. Yowza! That sucker was killer but I aced it! Thank you, Saint Thomas Aquinas! (Incidentally, also the patron saint of pencil makers and lightning.)

That exam was enough to get me fully connected to the grad school life once more. I still may feel disconnected from the other class members, but I can learn to accept that. If I can accept the horrible fact that Daddy Yankee is Harvard's Latino of the Year, then anything is possible.

Where's That Cap and Gown?

2008-03-14T19:59:00.002-05:00

Ok friends, it's officially official. I'm back in school and my first class starts April 1. There was a bit of a mixup with the school (They thought I wanted a degree in marketing!) so it took a while to get things rolling. But they are rolling now and I'm all set.

My second Master's will be in Education Administration and it will be complete in October of 2009. It's a fancy new degree plan at Lamar University that allows me to take one class in 5 weeks then I get a week off before beginning the next 5-week class. It's gonna be rough but I'm looking forward to it. I put it off waaayy to long.

Since things will get crazy soon, I apologize now for letting your calls go to voicemail, forgetting to reply to your e-mail, putting late comments on your blog, forgetting your birthday, leaving you stranded at the airport and basically not seeing you for about 18 months.

But I love you and I'll see you soon! I'll be the one in the cap and gown.

My Big Redneck Wedding

2008-03-02T17:58:00.003-06:00

M called me two nights ago and said something I never though I'd hear him say, "Turn on your TV and put it on CMT." His peculiar request piqued my interest because we are not exactly country folk.

I switched over to the Country Music Television network and found a show called, "My Big Redneck Wedding." It's hosted by Tom Arnold and CMT was having a marathon of weddings! I was particulary moved by the wedding of Gail and John in Westover, Maryland.

Please, please try to catch the flea market wedding of Gail and John. Here are just 3 reasons why:

1. The groom didn't get on one knee to propose. Instead, he peed "Will you marry me?" onto a street for her to read.

2. As a wedding gift, Gail gave John a pink bowling ball that says, "Think of me when you touch your ball."

3. John wrote his own vows and here's a hilarious clip:

The Love Shack

2008-02-28T17:44:00.003-06:00

After dealing with that car accident and driving all Monday night in Brown Sugar, I got home at 1:00 a.m. My head said, "Go to bed, go straight to bed, do not pass Go, do not collect $200." I obeyed and did my best to stay awake at work that Tuesday. After work that day, I had to figure out when to get my car repaired and I tried to get in touch with my home security company to beef up my service. So, naturally, that was the perfect time for...

2008 Problem 4

By Tuesday night, I was exhausted and that nasty seat-belt bruise was looking gross. I just wanted to sleep. I curled up in bed and I heard this noise in my attic. It sounded like little squirrel feet. Then I heard a shriek that I often hear from the squirrels that have laid claim to the creek in my back yard. Only, that shriek was coming from my attic. I knew there was no way to get them out at night so I decided to wait until morning to de-squirrel my attic. They must have woken me up about 20 times that night.

On Wednesday, I was home for lunch and I looked in the attic. Nothing. I figured they didn't like my accommodations and they left. Whew! But later that evening, I heard them again. I made M go up into the attic to investigate. As he looked up into the attic, I saw his face drop. And he said, "They're not squirrels. They're raccoons. And they're fu*&ing!" I almost vomited on the spot. I forced M to immediately close the attic door because those nasty things can carry rabies!

It turns out that the raccoons chewed through a vent screen on my roof and got into the attic. January is mating season for raccoons and in March/April they nest and have babies. My attic was their nocturnal love shack! And during the day, they were spooning in a dark corner sleeping the day away.

On Thursday, I made phone calls to Animal Control, I lit some St. Francis candles and I bought this blue powder called Critter Ridder. I sprinkled the Critter Ridder (which aggravates a raccoon's eyes and nose) all around my house and in my attic. During the day, while I was at work, I placed a boom-box in the attic that blared La Casa 106.7 FM. If those raccoons were going to disrupt my sleep, I was going to disrupt theirs with the best in Tejano music. Animal Control lent me a raccoon trap that I set up in the attic. And the St. Francis candle was joined by a rosary session and some holy water.

By Friday night, they were gone and it only cost me $50 total. M was kind enough to repair the vent screen for me. And I finally did catch some Z's but I never did catch anything in the raccoon trap. For which I am grateful because that would have grossed me out even more than knowing some raccoons turned my attic into a dirty motel.

Brown Sugar

2008-02-15T22:42:00.010-06:00

So, you already know about my January filled with many car troubles and attempted burglaries. As promised, here comes....

2008 Problem 3

Since January was sucking balls, I was excited to be going on a short road trip with some family and M to San Antonio. It was an excellent three-day weekend filled with too much food and not enough cocktails.

I rode back to Big D with M in his truck on January 21. The rain was pouring down, traffic was bad and when we finally made it into Austin, we were starving. We took an exit off I-35 and traveled towards one of our Austin favs. You know I'm talking about you Vinny's!

We were driving north on Lamar when we saw some crazy bitch driving south down the wet hill. She started to hydroplane, lost control, drove across the median and right into the oncoming traffic. Which included us. First, the crazy bitch hit a pickup and then the pickup smashed into a Caddy. (It was a gold Caddy!)

We were far enough down the hill that we witnessed the whole, scary thing. And then... that crazy bitch started sliding toward us! She never hit the brakes! M tried to move the truck so she wouldn't hit my side. But her car was swirling and there was nowhere to go.

She hit my side of the truck while we were at a complete stop. And we saw her coming so we knew it was going to be bad. My body pushed forward into the seat belt and then pushed back against the seat. M was jolted but since the impact wasn't on his side, it wasn't that bad. Nobody else was hurt in the accident. Is it bad that I kinda wanted that crazy bitch to bleed?

Anyway, M's truck was really damaged and wouldn't even start. It was towed to a body shop that night so that left us stranded in Austin and I had to be at work the next day!

Luckily, M's cousin lives nearby and he picked us up. We made all the insurance calls at his place and he graciously offered us his brown Suburban, appropriately named Brown Sugar, to drive back to Dallas. Now, I need to note that M's cousin is a mortician. His place is a morgue and Brown Sugar has no middle or back seats because it's used to pick up bodies. And we drove it in the middle of the night back to Dallas. Eeek!

We made it back to Dallas safely. I had a seatbelt shaped bruise from my right shoulder to my left breast. So pretty! The bruise is gone now but it was a great conversation starter! M's truck is still in Austin getting repaired. It'll be a while before it's fixed.

So anyway, that's 3 things about the hot mess that is my life. Problem 4 is coming soon and it involves raccoons. You have to come back for that one next week!

Grammy Night!

2008-02-10T21:33:00.001-06:00

In honor of Grammy night, I busted out on the Dance Piano. Sorry to the kids who had to wait for me until I finished playing my Grammy-worthy performance of Für Elise.

The Latino Locksmith

2008-02-07T18:07:00.000-06:00

As you know, I've decided to let file a grievance with the month of January, 2008. The many, many problems that happened during that month will be filed here.

2008 Problem 2
On January 11, I was still mad about shelling out over 5-hundy for car repairs. But I was glad it was Friday and I wanted to get home to watch Oprah.

I got home at 5:18, pulled into the driveway and clicked the garage door opener. But the garage door didn't go up. I got the opener and walked right up to the garage door and clicked several times. Nothing. My garage opener has a keypad so I entered my code and the door still didn't open. I walked around the house and saw that my house did have electricity. So I couldn't figure out why the door wouldn't open. After a few phone calls to my brother and my dad, I basically had 2 choices: break a window or call a locksmith because I didn't have my house keys with me and my parents lost the spare keys.

5:36 - I called a local locksmith and they said Fernando was on his way to my house.

6:06 - Fernando, the Latino Locksmith, still had not arrived. I was getting hungry, it was getting cold outside. And I had to pee. I called Fernando and he said he was stuck in traffic. I said, "Isn't your business two blocks from my house?" He said, "No. We're part of a team and the locksmith by your house was already out on a call. So they sent it to me and I'm from Rockwall, but I'm almost there." ROCKWALL?? Holy shit!

6:36 - I called Fernando and he said he was "really close." I was afraid to leave my driveway because I thought he'd show up while I was gone and I'd have to wait even longer for his return. The pee emergency was at level orange. I thought about peeing in my backyard, but there are so many squirrels I was afraid they'd bite my butt.

7:18 - Fernando arrived. He unlocked the front door. Once I opened the garage from the inside, the keypad and remote opener started working again. Weird. I peeked at Fernando's price sheet and it looked like he was going to charge me $120! But strangely, he said, "That will be $50." So I quickly wrote him a check before he changed his mind. Before he left my house, he said, "I spent all day at the studio and I'm having an art show tomorrow. Would you like to go to dinner and then to the show with me?" I kindly declined and then told him I really had to pee. Then he asked me for some Advil. ?? Weird.

On January 14, the day after my Check Engine light came on again, I called the manufacturer of my garage door opener and explained what happened. They said my opener "locked down" as a defense against an attempted break in. Evidently, some asshole was using another garage door opener and trying to break into my house with it. Or the asshole was entering in code after code into the keypad trying to break in. Either way... someone tried to break into my house!!!

I guess things could have been worse because this problem only cost me $50 and 2 Advil. But those 2 problems from January are just the beginning. More coming soon... and they involve raccoons and a Suburban named Brown Sugar.

Crappy New Year!

2008-02-01T16:56:00.001-06:00

Well, 2008 has not been my year. I spent most of January in the fetile position and wondering how many more Jell-O shots I have left in the fridge. A friend of mine said the best thing to do was to take one bad thing, write about it, then let it go for good. And I started to... but then other weirdo, horrible things kept happening. I don't know what I did to piss off God, but I hope that this new month will bring happier times.

I can't write all my weirdo problems in one post so I'll just pick one to start with. So here we go...

2008 Problem 1
This problem actually began at the very end of 2007. I took my sweet Jetta -that has NEVER been into a shop for repairs- in for a regular oil change and ended up in the VW repair shop. I still don't entirely understand how that oil change went wrong, but I now know that failure to reconnect an air valve is a bad thing. The VW people were really nice and got my Jetta moving again. Then 8 hours later, that stupid Check Engine light came on. I couldn't figure out if the problem was somehow linked to the oil change or if my car was somehow becoming an instant junker.

Over the next few days, I argued with the owner of the oil change place. I called a million mechanics. After all was said and done, I agreed to take the Jetta back to the VW repair shop on January 4. Unfortunately, on January 3, I got a nice glob of liquid Gain in my eye in a freak laundry accident. My right eye swelled up like a puffer fish and I couldn't see out of it. I washed it out and put eye drops, etc... But in the morning, I basically looked like this. I got to the VW place on January 4 and some dude totally drove his car in front of mine and cut in line. Asshole! Then he saw my disfigured eye and ran away without even apologizing. Then, hours later, I found out my car's problem had nothing to do with the oil change. Ugh! So a few days and $518 later, the Jetta was fixed.

On January 13, the Check Engine light came on again. I agonized about whether to take it back to the shop or just drive that car into White Rock Lake. After a week of more phone calls and investigating, I took it back to the VW repair shop. Luckily, it was a small problem and they didn't charge me! Amazing.

In the grand scheme of things, I guess it could have been worse. But you've only heard one problem. And there are several... stay tuned.

I Heart Guanabee!

2008-01-12T17:07:00.000-06:00

Many months ago, my sister, A, told me about a Web site called Guanabee. It's a blog about Latin culture and if you know me, you already know I have been talking about it a lot.

The first day I visited the site, I was hooked. For the first time, I was able to read things about Latin culture that was intelligent and still had a killer sense of humor. They understand that as Latinos we have to be able to laugh at ourselves, better ourselves, and still make fun of people from time to time.

I do comment on the site regularly. I use the screen name Latin_Princess. Remember when I worked at that one place and I was the only minority? And my white coworkers were always on pins and needles and watched every single word they spoke. I jokingly demanded that we celebrate the feast day of the Lady of Guadalupe and they did it! I was like their Latin Princess so I've always used that screen name. It's been with me for a long time - back when underscores were still used.

Around Christmas, Guanabee had a give-away for a new Razr2 phone. And if you've seen my current cell phone then you know why I was eager to enter. You had to creatively express to Guanabee why you are a good Latino. So I wrote them about a few things that I have been doing over the last year and Papa Guanabee gifted me with one of those new phones. Hot damn!

Then, this week, they gave me a "Commenter Shout-Out!" It's a very cool thing to get from a kick ass site. Not to get all sappy, but I really respect their work so to have them give me a shout-out was balls-out-awesome! Thanks, G-bee!

This time next year...

2008-01-03T20:45:00.000-06:00

Well, it's time for the New Year's Resolutions. I'm not gonna lie, I don't do the usual resolutions like joining a gym, not cussing as much, only one glass of wine a day, or anything fancy like that. I do the kind of resolutions that usually take me all year long. So that by this time next year, I will actually complete my resolutions. (Because there's no way this germophobe could join a gym.)

You see, a loooong time ago I created the "101 Things To Do Before I Die" list. The 101 list is in no particular order - I just thought of things I really wanted to do and randomly assigned them a number. And at the start of each year, I pick a few things on the 101 list and resolve to complete the few things within that year.

As the years have gone by, I've managed to complete 67 of my 101 things. (Yikes - I might need to die soon!) And yes, some things have changed on the 101 list. Seeing Nirvana live in concert isn't gonna work. Neither is going to the top of the World Trade Center. But for the most part, the remaining items on the list stay the same and I do a few each year.

One of the things I resolved to do in 2005 was to see Oprah in person. Done! One of the things for 2006 was to go to The Price is Right and cheer for Bob Barker. Done! In 2007 one thing on my resolution list was to live it up in Vegas and let it stay in Vegas. Done and done! While all of those kicked ass, it took a lot of planning to pull them off along with the other resolutions for that year. They tend to take a while to do.

The resolutions I chose from the 101 list for 2008 are not that bad but they all involve some cabbage. So here they are:

Go for a ride in a hot-air balloon
Go to the top of the Space Needle in Seattle
Buy a hutch and fill it with dishes I actually like (I already got half of the dishes!)
Get a lawyer to finalize my will ... because the 101 list is almost over

The Game

2007-12-20T18:11:00.000-06:00

This year for Christmas, I gave M tickets to a Dallas Cowboys game. I was so excited because my hot island boy had never been to a Cowboys game and I wanted to "Dallas-ify" him. Little did I know we'd end up at the same game as Jessica Simpson. Our seats were positioned where we could see her with that big, fake hair. And other fake body parts.

The game was fun and exciting at first. Things were moving and it was looking to be a great game. But by the second quarter, the game was looking as bad as "Employee of the Month." Once it hit half-time, Jessica left her fancy window seat and bolted out of there. I thought she left the game but those watching at home told me that she just moved further back into the box suite. But switching seats didn't matter because the game just kept getting worse. By the fourth quarter, it was evident to me that we were not going to win.

The good news was that we were seated near a very angry woman who stood up and SCREAMED vulgarities throughout the game to everyone from McNabb to Romo to Owens. Of course, only those of us lucky to be sitting in that section could hear her insightful words of wisdom. My favorite of the night was, "McNabb, you pussy! Go put a fucking brace on your shitty knee and go warm that fucking bench!" I kinda wish the players could have heard her potty mouth because she was f-ing hilarious!

The game ended (horribly) and we walked out of the stadium with some serious disappointment and some serious anger towards Jessica Simpson. I guess I can't really blame her for the Cowboys losing as she was not on the field. But I can blame her for being a fussy distraction. It just seems fishy to me that a team like ours could fail so miserably once she got onto the scene. It seems even fishier that she flocked to Romo only after he signed over his soul for $65 mil.

Despite/Because of it all M was very grateful and said he had a great time. Since the game was a wash, our favorite part of the night was meeting the bat-shit-crazy people in the audience and having fun ourselves. Here are some pics:

M and me on our way into Texas Stadium

M striking a pose after the game

Cowboys-Elvis and me

Christmas Wishlist!

2007-12-06T21:38:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year, people! So here's what is on my wishlist. And it's really just for M because he never knows what to get me. :)

Tote Bag

Flight of the Conchords Season 1

Once

USB Heated Gloves

Noise Canceling Headphones

Or do me a solid and make a donation to my favorite charity, The March of Dimes.

¡Fridalicious!

2007-12-05T21:26:00.000-06:00

Oh. My. Gravy! Last night M and I went to Frida's Mexican Bistro for dinner. It's a cozy, new place tucked in the Cedar Springs area of Dallas, otherwise known as the gay district.

It turns out the owner of the restaurant, Jose Cruz, is from the same village in Mexico as Frida Kahlo. That definitely gives him some Frida-credibility. But Jose also built his famous culinary reputation at The Mansion. Yes, that Mansion.

I started off with a Frida-Rita (there's fresh guava in the margarita!) which was strong and sweet. Our appetizer was taquitos stuffed with potato and sprinkled on top was queso blanco. It came with a side of guacamole. The taquitos were flavorful and surprisingly light. That guacamole was so fresh that I could smell it even before the plate hit the table. They also brought out chips and salsa. I've never had salsa like that in my life! It was so good I was eating it with a fork!

M ordered arrachera a la chininque which was a skirt steak with roasted peppers and beans. The peppers were in this creamy, spicy sauce. Delish! The beans were so good that M wanted to order a giant bowl of them to go. I ordered sabana de pollo which was a pounded chicken breast covered in a mixture of queso blano and mushrooms. It also came with rice and sauteed veggies: carrots, peppers, chiles and jicama. ¡Aye Chihuahua!

M and I absolutely LOVED everything at Frida's. I can only remember 2 other times that food made me swoon and that was in Rome and Paris. And now I can add Frida's to the swoon-worthy list! What can I say? I'm crazy in love and now I kinda want to grow a unibrow.

Me in front of Frida's Bistro after the feast!

Turkey Day Birthday

2007-11-27T22:16:00.000-06:00

Well, my birthday fell right on Thanksgiving Day this year. And yes, thanks to my friend Livia, I did get a new coffee maker. :) Thanks, L!

The first time my birthday fell on Thanksgiving Day was when I turned 4 and I can actually remember it. And it didn't bother me. But when I turned 9 it happened again and I was steaming mad. A little girl wants a birthday cake with 9 candles on top ...not a turkey with a big 9 candle stuck in it.

When I was little, I didn't have birthday parties because all my friends were out of town for the holiday. So growing up, the birthday was just not a big deal and over time it was actually fine with me. It bothered me when I was really young, but it didn't take me long to understand the importance of a low profile. I still celebrate, but it's low key.

So this year, I was hoping my Turkey Day Birthday would be a little under the radar. But it was not. My coworker, Nancy, decided to bake a cake for me. She did it on a Sunday night and took it to work the Monday after the holiday. I was so surprised! Then she opened the lid and I saw this:

I laughed so hard that I was wiping away the tears and almost couldn't breathe. Evidently, after icing the cake on Sunday night, the top layer of the cake split and slid down the sides of the bottom layer. To fix it, she decided to pre-slice the cake. But it didn't work and you can see the result. It was, by far, the most creative cake I've ever had! The best part was that it tasted awesome! Moist, chocolately goodness. And it didn't take long for word of the "eruption cake" to get around the office.

So my birthday was not exactly under the radar as usual. But what a way to make a debut!

Coffee Maker Funeral

2007-11-07T22:05:00.000-06:00

Ok, so yesterday I discovered that my darling little 4-cup coffee maker bit the dust. This was a major bummer and here's why...

When I bought my house everyone told me I was crazy because I had never even lived alone. Why would single, little me buy a house? Truth is, that house swept me off my feet and we have continued our real estate love affair for almost 5 years now. In yo face, naysayers!

The downside of buying a house before you are married is all the expensive loot you must buy to make the house a home. I had no bridal shower or wedding reception to provide me with things like a toaster oven, a blender, real plates and, of course, a coffee maker. Plus, I had to adjust my spending for the mortgage. So I budgeted and slowly started buying stuff for the house. And every birthday and Christmas I was begging for a "house something." I hated sending out my Christmas wish list filled with things like an electric drill and a rake instead of Cynthia Rowley heels and a Yorkie-Poo. But over time, I was done and the "Pimp My House" years were gone.

Also, finding that perfect coffee maker was NOT easy. I needed a 4-cupper that was short enough to fit under my cabinet and no paper filter required - save a tree! And I didn't want a digital read-out because I want to unplug it after I use it - save energy! Of course, to match the kitchen, it needed to be white - save HGTV! A tall order, indeed! I called it my "Starbucks Tall Order!" But one magical day in 2003 I was in Target and found it *on sale* ...and yesterday, it died.

In the last 24 hours I have been to 3 stores and roughly 2,386 web sites. Still no replacement. I hope you have set aside some cash for a coffee maker. My birthday is in 2 weeks.

Some Things Never Change

2007-11-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

I flew to the Panhandle to visit some friends and family. The Amarillo area is weird because there is a certain small town feel to it after all these years. I went to pick up my rental car on the other side of the airport and the worker just handed me the keys. He didn't check my paperwork, he didn't even ask my name. He just smiled, put my luggage in the rental and waved as I drove away. It was something right out of 1967 ...minus the whole racist/segregation thing.

I spent Friday at my Tía Susana's house in my old home-town and she showed me some of her awesome recipes. Albondigas, frijoles and home-made corn tortillas. Yummy! On Saturday, my buddy Livia and I decided to go back to my old hometown to see my Tía and hit the garage sales. We went to a local convenience store and looked for the newspaper but they, "didn't have it yet." It was 9:30 a.m. and there was no paper yet? WTF? We checked another store and there was nothing. Finally, at the 3rd store we were able to pick up a copy of Friday's newspaper! I felt as if I Livia and I were in the twilight zone. That crazy episode where it turns into 1967 once you cross the city limits of the small town.

On Sunday, Livia and I stayed in Amarillo and went out searching for some breakfast tacos. We went to a store and they only had bacon tacos. Yuck. This little Latina eats no pork so we had to try another store. The second store only had tortas at lunch. Dammit! Finally, the third store was the charm. I had to beg them not to put beef on mine. This little Latina eats no beef either! We felt like Goldilocks needing 3 tries to get the right food.

I couldn't believe it took 3 stores to get an old newspaper and 3 stores to get breakfast. But, in all honesty, the trip was a success. I scored some cool old books for my collection and I found some funny stuff at the Amarillo Flea Market. I got to watch Livia kick ass in a tennis match. I got a tour of my old university. And best of all, My Tía Susana showed me her coveted recipe for capirotada. And I have proof...

My Tía's apron but my capirotada!

My Tía and me after 2 long days of cooking.

Win, Place, Show

2007-10-15T08:54:00.000-05:00

M and I went to Lone Star Park in Grand Prairie last week. Now, you know we are not the typical "horse race type." The "horse race type" is usually a 65 year old chain smoker who wears lots of gold jewelry, cowboy boots and as much polyester as possible. We didn't exactly fit in. But we wanted to check it out. M was fresh from a gambling win in Vegas and sometimes I can channel my dad's winning streak and get lucky. (Did you know my dad has NEVER lost a door prize? One time, he won 8 door prizes in one night!)

So we got a fancy reserved table for a whopping 6 bucks and dissected the race program to choose our horses. We have no expertise in this field so we based our bets on the scientific proof of past race history and cool horse names. Yes, that's a novice move, but out of the 7 races we saw, we won 5 of them! We won close to $300 that night. Woo-hoo! I'm sure that upset the chain smokers who made the foolish bet on 'Cash In The Hand' instead of 'Spicy Taco Belle' like we did.

Speaking of Taco Bell, did you hear that they opened a restaurant in Mexico? I can't even begin to express how wrong that is. Taco Bell tried that 15 years ago and it flopped and now they are trying again. And it's flopping. I bet their next move will be negotiating a Starbucks in the Colombian coffee bean fields.

Anyway...here's a pic of M flashing some cash and trying to pick the next horse.

Vera Vera

2007-09-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

I read about a new colletion at Kohl's called Simply Vera Vera Wang. Naturally, the girly girl inside me did a little cartwheel and let out a little scream just thinking about it. So when the collection was unveiled at Kohl's I was in there with the other ladies clawing through the racks of luscious clothing.

What you may not know about me is that I've been a devout virtual Vera Wang follower for many, many years. I was only a virtual fan because her stuff is WAY out of my price range. But the Kohl's stuff was right in my price range and I couldn't wait to get my hands on some of it.

The shirts were dainty, the pants were flowy, the sweaters were cozy, the coats were lovely. And not one thing fit me properly. My regular size fit me, but not well. One size smaller was all wrong; one size higher was far too large. Like the song says, "I've been waiting for this moment... but it's not quite right." Clearly, Vera was not thinking of curvy Latin girls when she created her new, affordable line.

Coming to the realization that the cutest outfit in the right price range doesn't fit well is like meeting a hot, smart guy who is single but is gayer than a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The good thing is that Vera did think about accessories including purses, shoes, home decor, etc. And I bought this on sale for $50. Not bad!

VMA Drama

2007-09-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

Oh, the drama following the VMAs has been enough to keep Perez Hilton writing for another year! Of course, a lot of it has to do with Britney. Truth be told, I would have loved for Britney to steal Rihanna's umbrella and re-enact the minivan attack. But... well, we all know what happened instead.

But the funniest thing to emerge from the aftermath of the VMAs was Chris Crocker. If you have not had the pleasure of seeing Britney's biggest- and maybe only- fan, check it out here. Hilarous!

Then, if you have time, check out Seth Green's interpretation of Chris Crocker. Double hilarious!

The VMAs

2007-09-10T17:34:00.000-05:00

First off, Happy Birthday to my sister, C.

So, did you guys watch the VMA's on MTV last night? All my friends can talk about is how bad Britney's performance was... and I do agree. But there's a lot more there to discuss. For example:

1. How awkward and funny was it when Jamie Foxx totally went off script and threw off Jennifer Garner? I was hoping JGar would let loose and just go with the joke. (Like that one awards show where she almost fell on stage and then said, "I do all my own stunts.") But she kept steering back towards the script and Jamie kept steering far away from it. That tug of war was hilarious!

2. Those hotel suite parties looked like they were wild, crazy and a ton of fun. I was getting a little jealous of the people getting an intimate concert from the Foo Fighters. Then I found out MTV hired people to "party" when the cameras were on. Oh MTV, how silly you are. I would have "partied" with the Foo Fighters for FREE!

3. Sarah Silverman is so gross. I thought her opening monologue bombed and, judging by the lack of laughter in the room, so did everyone else. I don't like that her jokes always involve genitalia and bodily functions. She tries way too hard to be edgy and funny but it just comes off as desperate and contrived. Booooo Hissss!!!!!!!!

4. Chris Brown stole the show. He was fun, exciting and even did a little Michael Jackson for those of us born in the 70s. What a hot performance! I actually felt bad for those having to perform after him... talk about a tough act to follow.

5. My friend, S, sent me a ballot of all the VMA categories and nominees. I entered my predictions and waited to see how many I would get right. But I bombed! I only got 2 right - Monster Single of the Year was "Umberlla" by Rihanna and Quadruple Threat of the Year was Justin Timberlake. All the others I predicted were wrong. Ugh... I must be getting old.

6. Speaking of getting old, let's talk about Britney Spears. She, like many of the performers last night, lip-synched. But her performance was just plain hard to watch. Her unoriginal choreography and lack of enthusiasm made it boring. I could hardly watch but I hung in there because I had heard she was working up some "magic trick" with Criss Angel for that performance. But it never happened! WTF?? For someone whose past VMA performances included dancing with snakes and kissing Madonna, this one was far below expectations. Oh and on a side note... I honestly don't think Britney is fat, but that outfit made her look fat. Yuck!

What did you love/hate?

Reverend Clara

2007-08-26T12:31:00.000-05:00

Hey Web friends! Did your August go as fast as mine? I just noticed it was August 26 and couldn't believe it.

This month started off fast with my brother J's wedding. He and his wife wanted a very small, immediate-family-only kind of wedding. I was totally down with that because I actually hate weddings. The kicker was that I was the celebrant of their wedding! I got ordained online and became a reverend. I performed their ceremony, sent in their marriage license and it's totally legal. How funny is that!? A pic from the ceremony is below.

The middle of August was jam-packed with work stuff. I had a full two weeks of super busy days and nights of work. We were preparing for some upcoming training events that we lead. We were also unpacking and getting settled into our new offices. I got a new corner spot with lots of window views which totally makes up for the summer I spent in "The Dungeon."

In the middle of all the August craziness, I got sick. Maybe it was because of all that stuff with work... or maybe it was hormones... or maybe I should not have spent so much time preparing to start my own church. :) Either way, being sick sucks and after 2 doctor visits I'm finally better. Here's hoping for a slower, healthier September.

Crappy Week

2007-08-08T18:10:00.000-05:00

I must admit I have not been having a good week so far. I've been sick on and off. Not sure what's wrong with me but if another migraine comes my way, I just might jump off Reunion Tower. There have been some stressful, busy days at work and that doesn't make it any better. I need a slow, lazy weekend where I do nothing. Maybe I'll try to squeeze that in soon. In the meantime, I will use these few online things that always make me smile:

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg received an Emmy nomination for their "Dick In A Box" skit/song from Saturday Night Live. It always makes me laugh. You can check it out here: Dick In A Box .

It's not news, it's Fark. Fark is a site that lists its news stories in various categories. My favorite category is "Not News." When I'm having a bad day, it's nice to read some funny news instead of the otherwise depressing stuff.

Blogs that belong to my friends/family. My favorites are:
Braden's -he's my cutiepie nephew
Susie's -she's my buddy in Round Rock and she rocks!
Jenn's -she's got some sweet and funny kid stories
Perez Hilton's -so I don't actually know Perez Hilton, but my mom comes from a Perez family so maybe we are distant relatives...plus his blog is such a great guilty pleasure!

Mike Coolbaugh

2007-08-02T07:21:00.000-05:00

My heart goes out to the family of Mike Coolbaugh. I work with his sister, Lisa.

On Monday, July 23, we got word from Lisa that her brother had died on the baseball field. Mike was the batting coach for the Tulsa Drillers. Mike was positioned at first base while his team was hitting. Tino Sanchez, a left-handed hitter, hit a foul ball and it headed towards Mike. He raised a hand to block it but it was too late. The ball ruptured Mike's carotid artery and he died.

It truly is such a rare kind of accident and it was so awful to hear of that happening to such an outstanding man. Mike leaves behind a growing family: Joey age 5, Jake age 3, and his wife, Mandy, who is pregnant with their third child. She said that if her unborn child is a boy she will name him Mike.

On Sunday, July 29, some coworkers and I traveled to San Antonio to visit Lisa and pay our respects to Mike. It broke our hearts to see Lisa because, like Mandy, she is pregnant also. They both have a hard time eating and the emotional stress effects your entire body. Seeing the two of them grieve so deeply while trying to maintain a healthy pregancy was so hard.

The media swarmed the Coolbaugh house in San Antonio after word of this rare accident got out. But after a family press conference they backed off and gave the family their privacy. Some of them did write beautiful stories about Mike. Here are a few of my favorites:

Brian Anderson

ESPN

Fox Sports

The Tulsa Drillers

Please keep the Coolbaugh family and the Sanchez family in your thoughts and praryers.

Ode to the Emotionally Retarded

2007-07-26T22:18:00.000-05:00

The dictionary definition of retarded is: Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed.

Two years ago my friend SL was going through a bad break up. I told her that the guy causing all the problems was no good for her because he was emotionally retarded. He was far too old to be so delayed in emotion and feeling...it was like dating in 10th grade all over again. So two years ago I wrote this poem about those that are emotionally retarded. To them, about them, from me. SL found it recently and sent it to me. Enjoy!

Ode To The Emotionally Retarded

by Clara Jackson

emotionally retarded is a sad state

the rise and fall of what seems like emotion

is really just the result of too much vodka

then someone comes into your life

and wants to care for you

wants to love you

wants to build a life with you

and kiss you where nobody else will

but you're emotionally retarded

and you mess things up

because you are emotionally retarded

you think you deserve this happiness

you think you can handle the mental work

but nothing of substance can develop

in your relationships or life in general

because you are emotionally retarded

Tales from the Dungeon

2007-07-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

First of all, Happy Belated 4th of July. I didn't do anything wild and crazy for the holiday. I just provided my own body as a smorgasbord for all the mosquitos that are a result of the Biblical Rains.

Anyway... my office is getting remodeled so our entire department has been moved to a high school across the street from our building. Normally, this would be no big deal. Except the high school has limited, if any, air conditioning. And it's going through renovations so I have to smell that smell that happens when old carpet comes up and new carpet goes down. Icky!

We get no cell phone reception and only one bathroom has running water. Also, since we are used to packing a lunch, we were ticked to find out we have no refrigerator, no microwave and no kitchen-type area in which to eat our lunch. The computer lab we are sitting in at the high school is called The Dungeon because it has brown cinderblock walls and no windows. And somehow it has become infested with flies and gnats.

Hot, muggy, stinky, no cell phone, only 1 bathroom, insects and packing lunches that need no refrigeration or heating. So it's kinda like camping... but indoors with Internet.

My "indoor camping" did include a hike through the halls of the school. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything interesting... just a McGruff The Crime Dog puppet and 17 yearbooks from 1989. I hope my new office gets done quickly.

I Don't Like The Cell Phone Lady

2007-06-25T16:19:00.000-05:00

I have a very observant boyfriend who said that in the early part of our relationship he noticed I was very picky and sensitive. But it is just now beginning to surface in our conversations. And I guess I am picky... or maybe I just have a ton of pet peeves. Here are some examples:

I went to Las Vegas with M and I only wanted to use the restroom in the Paris casino because they had the softest toilet paper.

If I sleep in any bed other than my own, I wake up with severe back pain because I need a feather bed.

When I call a cell phone and get voicemail, I hate having to wait for the "lady" to say "To leave a message press 1 or press pound for more options...blah, blah, blah" I had it removed on my phone. You should do the same.

After 2 alcoholic drinks I immediately vomit...unless it's wine then I can drink a whole bottle.

I do not touch door handles, elevator buttons, public pens, etc... because I am terrified of germs.

At a recent family get-together I didn't eat 90% of the stuff because I don't like it. Watermelon, beef fajitas, menudo, steak, etc... None of it was going near me. My sister, A, did try to force feed me and I have have proof.

So, maybe I am picky. Are you picky? What are your sensitive spots?

Gmail = Junkmail

2007-05-31T14:12:00.000-05:00

I rarely use my Gmail account. I logged in yesterday, cleaned out the junk and today I logged back in. This is what I found...207 junk e-mails in ONE day:

And this is a brief clip of what the junk e-mails look like:

Does your Gmail junkmail look like that after one day also? It should not be this way. Especially after they arrested this guy. Ugh!

Maybe Flies Are Good

2007-05-30T13:24:00.000-05:00

If you have ever shared a meal with me in a restaurant, then you know I'm picky and I ask a lot of questions... but I'm always nice to the wait staff. So you can only imagine my shock and horror brought on by these two events:

El Fenix - 05.01.2007
My boss decided to take our group out to lunch to honor the administrative professionals in our office. It was a week after the official week...but better late than never. They decided to go to El Fenix. I looked through the menu and was surprised to see their lunch specials were around ten bucks each! Ten bucks for tacos...are you kidding me?? Anyway, I went with the flautas and hoped for the best. The rest of my group got their food and our waiter informed me that mine was still cooking. When it arrived, it was still pink and cold in the middle. I didn't want to cause a stink so I just kept quiet. Good thing I wasn't paying.

Scotty P.'s - 05-02.2007
After the mess at El Fenix, I didn't have a good feeling about attending a birthday lunch for a co-worker at Scotty P.'s. I took a leap of faith and ordered the greek salad. I took 3 bites. On the 4th bite, I discovered a HUGE nasty fly in my salad. He probably drowned in greek dressing. There was a long line of hungy people waiting for a hamburger and I didn't want to gross them out. So I quietly approached the register and whispered, "There's a fly in my salad." The employees blurted out, "WHAT? A FLY IN YOUR SALAD? WHERE??" I showed them the fly, they called a manager and he said to me, "Would you like another salad without the flies?" I said no. He said the only thing he could do for me was a refund or a gift certificate for a free meal. I took the gift certificate. So if I don't like you, please be expecting a Scotty P.'s gift certificate on your birthday. Maybe flies are good!

Keeper of the Gems

2007-05-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

Do you know who Leslie & The Ly's are? If not, then we seriously cannot be friends any longer. Just kidding. But you really do need to find out about this group. Specifically the lead singer, Leslie Hall. Leslie had her very first Denton show yesterday and I was there. It was fan-flippin-tastic! My brother, L, went with me and we had a great time!

After two opening acts, Leslie hit the stage. She was wearing her gold jumpsuit, blue eye shadow and oversized glasses. She rocked, she rolled, she shook, she danced. She was amazing. Her show started with her famous "Gold Pants" song. Then she went into her classics such as "Zombie Killer" and "Shazam I'm Glamorous." The whole crowd was totally into her and she had a room full of loyal fans. Her songs are hilarious, her stage presence is strong and her sparkly magic is incomparable. After the show, she came out to sign autographs, take pics and just chat with those who stuck around. That was the best part! I loved getting to meet her.

For those of you not familiar with Leslie, she is the owner and founder of the Gem Sweater Mobile Museum. She collects those sweaters that were attacked by the Bedazzler in the 80s. She even dubs herself "Keeper of the Gems." Also, she is a rapper from Iowa who writes all her own lyrics and her mom makes all her stage costumes. You really should check out her Web site to find out more:

http://www.lesliehall.com/

Enjoy these pics from one of the BEST nights of my life!

Even the girl in the wheel chair got down!

This was Leslie's big entrance!

Thank you for those gold pants!

My hero and me!

A Letter to Zach Braff

2007-04-17T16:14:00.000-05:00

Zach,

Do you know what an Ultimate Hate is? It's a phrase we made up years ago to describe a celebrity/celebutard we despise. A long time ago, my friend S told me her Ultimate Hate was Tara Reid and her hubby's Ultimate Hate was Joan Rivers. My sister C's Ultimate Hate is Queen Latifah. In fact, her extreme distaste for Latifah is often the butt of jokes and pranks - including the anonymous family member who enrolled her in the Queen Latifah Fan Club.

So, are you wondering if I have any Ultimate Hates? Well, I do. Nicholas Cage. His voice gives me the heebie-jeebies and then there's that whole thing about naming his kid Kal-el. Oh, and then there's Jennifer Lopez which I think requires no explanation. And now, there's you. I read the May issue of Elle magazine and I also did peruse some lyrics of Mandy Moore's new album. And frankly speaking, you now appear to me as narcissistic and sanctimonious. Also, you shouldn't use movie roles/offers to try to get women you don't stand a chance with. (Natalie Portman and Rachel Bilson.) You are a repeat offender with those smarmy tactics and now I welcome you to my Ultimate Hate list.
Sincerely,
CJ

Vote For The Worst

2007-03-29T11:32:00.000-05:00

I don't really watch reality tv but my friend, S, encouraged me to watch season 6 of American Idol. I made a promise that I would watch it and I truly have seen every episode this season...which is a lot for a commitment-phobe like me.

The first few weeks were funny because the bad singers were good for a laugh. (Remember the guy who thought he was a tiger and growled at Paula? Hilarious!!) Then they narrowed it down to 24 singers and that's when "the competition really started." But that happened to be the moment in time where I almost bailed because I just couldn't stand the bad singers, namely the male contestants. But S kept me motivated with her funny recaps of each contestant and I hung on.

Well, they all seemed to get a little better as the show went on and I grew to be a big fan of Chris Sligh and Melinda Dolittle. But the bad singers, like Sanjaya and Hailey, were still on the show and they were driving me nuts. I couldn't figure out how they were still hanging on while other talented singers like Sabrina were getting cut. Then Best Week Ever told me all about Vote For The Worst and it makes sense now.

VFTW claims that the early part of AI uses the bad singers to make a funny show and draw in the audience. So VFTW believe the bad singers should also play a part in the later part of the show and that, my friends, is why we all had to shield our eyes when Sanjaya came out with a faux-hawk and cover our ears while he squealed through his song. Sadly, that is also part of the reason why Chris Sligh was eliminated this week. Bummer.

I guess I do understand the reasoning behind Vote For The Worst and I even understand the humor involved. But I will be one angry Latina if Melinda loses to Sanjaya. Don't think I can't pull out a "Sana, sana colita de rana" and jinx Sanjaya. ¡Sí puedo!

5 Things I Learned This Weekend

2007-02-26T09:35:00.000-06:00

1. My brother, L, knows tons of lyrics from Beyonce songs and evidently loves her music.

2. Dennis Hopper touched the right side of his face 13 times while presenting an award to Laura Dern at the Independent Spirit Awards. Then she kissed that side of his face while accepting the award...yuck!

3. My 2 year old nephew loves disco music and has some new dance moves. I'm pretty sure it's my mom teaching him those groovy moves.

4. I don't like Wal-Mart. At all.

5. Jack Black will make any awards show better. Go to YouTube and search for the song he did with Will Ferrell at the Oscars and you'll see why.

Little Life Still Little

2007-02-19T10:03:00.000-06:00

I had one of those reflective kind of weekends. I'm 31 now and my life is not exactly where I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I love my little life. But it's odd how things turn out the way they do. I had many ideas for my life when I was younger. Those ideas that meant so much to me back then faded somehow ...and I didn't even notice they had faded. I realized this weekend that I didn't care that they had faded.

You see, there was a time when I was delusional about my future. Way back in my pre-teen years I thought I would be enjoying a wild life while married to Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys. Then, as a teenager, I was totally convinced that I would be married to an English bloke who would insist that we name our children Ian, Liam and Hyacinth. In my under-grad years, I thought I would get married after grad school and I would just pick up some dude on Fry Street. I never did suspect that I would be 31 and not even thinking about marriage. I have nothing against marriage - I just don't think about it for myself.

I went to a bridal shower for my friend Candace on Saturday afternoon which started my life examination. And as the weekend crept by, I really thought about how different my life turned out to be. The thing that surprised me the most is how happy I am with the way my life is going. If I was 17 and someone told me that I would be single at 31, I probably would have jumped off Reunion Tower. And yet, here I am, totally loving life!

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade my sweetie for the world. He is one of the most beautiful parts of my life. But our upcoming trip to Vegas will not include a visit to a chapel. :o) My little life may still be little - but I now know that it's unfolding just as it should be.

2 More Down

2007-02-16T11:20:00.000-06:00

I watched 2 more movies from my list and here's what I think.

Volver - It's in Spanish - not my kind of Spanish but in Spain Spanish. There were some difference but the subtitles helped. This movie is intense and has a very serious, dramatic theme. But the actors are so good they actually give it a calm, graceful delivery. Penelope Cruz is worthy of an Oscar nod. I wish she would win, but I don't think she will. Rent it so you can rewind if you miss a subtitle.

The Queen - This movie should have been called Tony Blair's Queen or The Queen and Tony. It basically just tells a version of what happened in the week following Princess Diana's death. Tony Blair is urging the "Palace" to make a statement and he is carefully but firmly encouraging the "Palace" to be more considerate about the death. I thought it would be more of a biography-type thing. But no dice... rent it.

I still have about 7 more movies to go...and now I have to add Factory Girl and Bridge to Terabithia. Wonder if I'll have time to see all 5 of the movies nomiated for movie of the year?

SuperShuttle SuperSucks

2007-02-12T15:35:00.000-06:00

I recently flew from Austin to Dallas Love Field. I got off the Southwest flight at 6:14 p.m., proceeded straight to the baggage claim, got my bag and headed to the shuttle pick up area. But, I saw no shuttle...only cab after cab.

So I called SuperShuttle and explained to them that I booked the ride 6 days in advance and prepaid but saw no van. The lady from SuperShuttle said that those reservations are only based on availability, even if you prepay 6 days in advance. So my options were to take a cab and pray that SuperShuttle actually refunds my credit card or wait 30 minutes for a SuperShuttle. I decided to wait and that was a mistake.

At 6:40 I sat down in the SuperShuttle to find that another guy was in the van. It's a shared ride so I didn't necessarily expect to be the only one in there. They usually group you with people who live in your area- but this time that was not the case. This gentleman, Mr. Reynolds, missed his ride and just jumped on a SuperShuttle sans reservation. So we had to drive him all the way to the Gaylord Convention Center in GRAPEVINE!!

It took forever to get all the way from Love Field to Grapevine and there was nothing I could about it. And the whole time, all I could think about was the Grammy Awards that was going to start in a few minutes. After dropping off Mr. Reynolds, the SuperShuttle driver turned around and said to me, "Would you like to get out of the van and go look inside the lobby of the hotel? It's beautiful, you should see it."

My jaw dropped and I pulled myself together just enough to say, "No. I've seen it." The driver said OK and we were off. We were approaching 635 which is the highway that leads me home. The driver's talking GPS system was telling him to merge but he missed it! He ended up on 114! If you live near Dallas you know that's heading straight to the airport...DFW International! So now I'm telling him where to go, the GPS system is telling him where to go and we still ended up inside DFW airport!! I started at Love Field and now I was in DFW!!!

He finally got it right and we were on the way to Plano. We pulled into my driveway at 8:01. I had spent only 46 minutes on the plane and 1 hour 21 minutes in the van! That's ridonkulous! I'm going on a SuperShuttle strike.

Questions About TV

2007-01-22T11:26:00.000-06:00

I have a lot of questions about TV these days. I don't channel surf, I ONLY watch what's recorded on my TiVo. I hate the rush of new shows that come out each season. I usually wait for trustworthy friends (Susie and M) to give me a heads up on a show and I'll TiVo it. But lately I've come to dislike TV even more...

Who cares what Donald and Rosie think?
Donald and Rosie need to shut it already. I mean, why is so much emphasis placed on a real estate monster's opinion about the entertainment industry? And why is Rosie's opinion suddenly of extreme importance? That's like paying close attention to Jessica Simpson's opinion about the new Mensa exam...or placing bets based upon Ryan Seacrest's Oscar picks. It just doesn't make any sense.

Why does Isaiah Washington not know how to speak in public?
That guy is a walking time bomb. While he does a great job at acting, he's just as bad in public interviews as Anna Nicole Smith!

What the hell is wrong with Paula Abdul?
I saw an "American Idol Rewind" special on Fox the other night and it was a replay of an episode during season 1. Way back then, I would watch and I remember thinking that Paula seemed a little "off." But compared to her recent antics, she was downright professional and poised in season 1...which isn't saying much. How is she keeping that job?
Speaking of American Idol...
I find it so funny that America, the land obsessed with physical appearance yet the fattest country, is mad that the judges on American Idol are "too harsh." Ugh... I think they just have the guts to tell it like it is. I know you secretly agreed with Simon when you saw that guy in Seattle and thought he looked like a lemur. Now, should the judges vocalize those comments? Maybe not. But at least they're honest when they say what America is thinking.

Who ever said show business was fair and kind?
We have all watched enough E! True Hollywood Stories to know that show business is ugly. It's mean, it's fierce and it will spit you out once it's done with you. (Britney Spears, Screech, Macauley Culkin, Pee Wee Herman)

How did I end up in a TV society where people complain when a judge is brutally honest and the CBS Monday night line up got renewed? Ugh!

Holiday Movie Review

2007-01-17T15:37:00.000-06:00

Over the last several weeks, there have been a ton of movies hitting the theaters that I just can't wait to see. I actually have a list with 18 movies on it right now. Instead of listing them all, I will list the ones that I've seen so far (which is half) and a brief review of them in alphabetical order. My ratings are as follows: Watch it! Rent it. Skip it.

Bobby - I dug this movie but the critics hated it. Here's the hard core honest truth that nobody would say or write about this movie: If you are not a minority, you will hate this movie. If you are a minority, you will love it, identify with it and respect Emilio Estevez for taking a stand. Watch it!

Borat - My sweetie and I paid to see Stranger Than Fiction and then afterwards snuck in to a screening of Borat that was just about to start. This "Susie Special Double Feature" was not planned, it just sorta happened. But Borat is so good that I would have paid to see it again and again. As we left the theater, I considered throwing 7 bucks at the cashier because the movie was that good. Watch it!

Charlotte's Web - Super sweet movie that, as you know, has a sad ending. This version isn't a musical but it's well done and if you like Dakota Fanning, you will not be disappointed. Rent it.

The Holiday - If you know me then you are well aware that no Jack Black movie goes under my radar. The Holiday was cute. I am really not a big fan of romantic comedies but this one was redeemed by Jack. It's too bad he wasn't the main character - that would have made it better. Rent it.

Little Miss Sunshine - Fantastic. Hilarious. The family in this movie is going to remind you of your own family. I missed its theater run but saw it on DVD. If it were still in the theaters, I would urge you to watch it so you MUST rent it!

Marie Antionette - I got into this movie for free - I got the cute face discount. Granted, it was a discount from the nerdy guy at the dollar movie, but it was still free. That turned out to be a good thing because this movie is poop. They should call it Marie Pooptionette. It's terrible. Skip it.

Pursuit of Happyness - I like Will Smith and his son is adorable in this flick. Any person with even half a heart will immediately relate and feel genuine compassion for this father-son team. Watch it!

Stranger Than Fiction - I'm a wordy girl so this movie about words and books appealed to me. It's such a cool story. Will Ferrell should win some sort of award for his role in this movie. He's outstanding. But the ending wasn't my style at all. Rent it.

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny - This is probably the best movie ever made. Jack and Kyle prove to the world that they can rock. WATCH IT!

The Enhanced Vocabulary

2006-12-08T16:49:00.000-06:00

Here are 6 words I love. I use them but they aren't in the dictionary and I actually made up a couple of them. I guess we all use made up words in some form...what made up words do you use?

Mancation - an adventurous vacation for just the guys, not to be confused with the gay resorts or gay cruises.

Manscrunchie - the "scrunchie" men use to pull back their long hair.

Celebutard - a celebrity with no real talent. For example, Paris Hilton or Jennifer Lopez.

Beaver Poison - a word my friends and I use to describe a man with a sexually transmitted disease.

B-Odorant - when a stinky person puts on layers of cologne and/or Right Guard instead of showering.

Salsa Pants - this word is only used when describing Mario Lopez or Mario Lopez wanna-bes.

The Superbowl for Girls

2006-12-01T14:34:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I have to admit I'm a sucker for Black Friday. For those of you who are not female or gay, Black Friday is the shopping frenzy that occurs on the day after Thanksgiving. Companies can get their finances out of the "red" and into the "black" in just that one day if the sales are good enough. It's competitive shopping at its best - it's like the Superbowl for girls!

I usually get anxious for the newspaper on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving day. Those sales flyers are like playbooks for me! What I usually do is map out the locations of the stores in the order of the best sales. Then I get up at the crack of dawn and hit the shopping full on.

I'm not one of those people who will camp out in front of the store in the cold. I try to get plenty of rest and fluids before the occasion. Then once I'm in the store, I beeline to the stuff I want and then beeline to the register. Truth be told, you'll wait FOREVER at the register but at least it's warm in the store and not freezing outside in a tent with no bathrooms. If you're fierce and quick, you'll get all the stuff you wanted with plenty of time for a victory brunch at La Madeleine.

Unfortunately, sometimes the things you really want are not on sale. You're pretty much at their mercy when it comes to specific items at bargain prices. Here are the weirdo things I wanted that we couldn't find on sale anywhere:

Noise cancelling headphones
Sterling Silver ring with a yellow topaz stone
Electric warming throw blanket
A large jar candle in Gardenia
Cozy house socks

But I did find some other good bargains...even after Black Friday. All in all, I think I scored well in this year's Girl Superbowl. Let me know how you did!

The Pizza Challenge

2006-11-10T20:47:00.000-06:00

Are you a deep dish or a thin slice? I asked a lot of people that before I went to NYC. It turns out that most of the people I know are thin slicers...and I'm a thin slicer as well. But the whole deep dish thing was intriguing to me so I decided to do a little taste test of my own.

The last time I flew to NYC with M, we had a looonnggg layover in Chicago. We had plenty of time to hop on a subway train, get into the downtown area, have some deep dish pizza and get back to the airport for our flight to NYC. Oh, and many thanks to the city of Chicago for understanding the true importance of having a train stop IN the airport. Genius.

Anyway, we decided to eat at Lou Malnati's in Chicago for the deep dish and Grimaldi's in Brooklyn for the thin slice. We broke down the categories with a possiblity of 20 points for the best score in each category. It was close and the service is what made a huge difference. Here's how they rated:

Deep Dish - Lou Malnati's in Chicago

Ambiance/Atmosphere 18
Service 7
Food 19
Price 20
TOTAL - 64 out of 80

Thin Slice - Grimaldi's in Brooklyn

Ambiance/Atmosphere 20
Service 19
Food 20
Price 20
TOTAL - 79 out of 80

The winner was GRIMALDI'S!!! Sorry to those of you who love deep dish pizza, it just doesn't compare with the gooey, flavorful goodness coming out of Brooklyn!

Timing Is Everything

2006-09-25T21:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, so most of you know that I have some pretty crappy timing. It's safe to say that if my life would run 3 minutes late or 3 minutes early, I might be ruling my own country or working alongside Oprah by now. Believe me, I could tell you some stories about my terrible timing - some real doozies.

But on Saturday night I had good timing. Great timing. Allow me to explain... My day started at 6:00 a.m. and I didn't get home til around 10:00 p.m. and I was exhausted! I didn't want to go out so instead I decided to check on my TiVo and see what he'd been up to on Saturday. After about an hour, I was all caught up with TiVo and I switced over to live TV. My TV happened to be on HBO and I tuned in at the last 31 minutes of a movie called Roll Bounce. You know, it's that roller skating movie that's set in the 70s starring Nick Cannon and Bow Wow. Don't act like you don't know - we both know you have heard of that flick.

Anyway, my first instinct was to change the channel. But then I realized I was tuning in right at the grand finale. The big climax. The finals of the roller skating championship! It was awesome! There were several teams competing in the finals and I got to see all of their routines set to disco tunes. I know you think I'm crazy, but if you get the chance, watch the last 31 minutes of that movie. It's flippin' awesome...complete with groovy disco beats, old school roller skates and a bonafide SKATE OFF!

Whew, hope I didn't give too much away!

Random Thoughts

2006-09-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

So, some stuff has recently been floating through my life. I haven't had a chance to post because I've been lazy. But here I am... posting, finally.

First of all, I'm way behind on my phone call returns. People that called me 2 weeks ago are just now getting a call back from me. I had a super busy couple of weeks and phone calls were the first sacrifice. So if I haven't called you back please don't think I'm being a bad friend - I'm spending all my free time on this posting.

If you know me then you know why I sometimes go to Corpus Christi. Lately, I have been paying very close attention to the Whataburger situation in Plano and CC. A compare/contrast, if you will. Here's what I know... The Plano phone book lists 4 Whataburger Restaurants. Sometimes I drive by the one close to my house and it's really busy at lunchtime - but not any other time. I discovered that Whataburger was founded in CC in 1950. The CC phone book lists 33 Whataburgers! As you drive around town, you'll spot one everywhere you go and they are always packed. In fact, the few McDonald's restaurants they do have are usually very empty. So, is it fair to say that Corpus is the Burger-Bizarro of Plano?

Oh, one last thing. I have totally gotten addicted to my new bike! That thing rocks. It's named Bonnie Blue and it's a sweet, sweet ride. I found a bike trail by my house and it's about a ten mile route. But I hope to take Bonnie Blue to Austin soon. That way if I see Lance Armstrong while I'm riding around, I can run right into him. I hate that dude.

Well, I better go. I have phone calls to return and a Whataburger to scope out. Take care friends!

August Got Good

2006-08-28T20:35:00.000-05:00

Dudes...I totally ragged on August in my last blogpost. That was mean. Sorry, August. But in all fairness, I had been really ticked and with good reason. And things are better now...much better. Where to start???

August brought back my friends, the Kedroski's. Minnesota has officially lost its most beautiful family and they are moving back to Texas where they belong! I am thrilled that they are just a 3 hour drive away now. That's flippin' sweet!
August brought me news of an upcoming wedding. My oldest brother is marrying his girlfriend next year. She has 2 daughters from a previous marriage so that means I'm getting 2 more nieces! Cool, huh?
Oh, and August delivered my sweet friend, Evelina, to Austin as well. She starts at UT this week. I met her when she was just 16 and I've watched her grow into such a beautiful woman. I can't wait to see what else life brings her.
In case you didn't already know, August proved I have the most perfect boyfriend on the planet. He's not only the sweet guy who drove 3 hours to visit me in Austin, he's also the considerate guy who helped my friend Evelina get settled into her new apartment in Austin. And he's also the thoughtful guy who bought me a new bike!

Oh, August, thanks for reminding me that the heat is only temporary but the love is deep, wide and flowing.

Evelina and me at her new place!

My sweet man and my sweet ride!

Oh August, How You Anger Me

2006-08-08T09:12:00.000-05:00

August is not off to a good start. We are only 8 days into this month and I'm already eager to toss it aside. I am convinced that these 100 degree days are getting the best of me. I could tell you many, many stories about the nasty heat. But instead, here are just 2 examples of how August is going for me. And oddly, both examples involve my nose.

I was at work and stepped into the elevator after a women stepped out. Evidently, she bathed in tacky perfume so that it would "linger." But all it really did was "stink." It was so bad that my nose actually burned once the elevator doors closed. On my way up to the 3rd floor, the elevator stopped to pick up somebody on the 2nd floor. When that person got in, all he could smell was that tacky perfume. He thought it was me and he actually scooted over to the other side of the elevator. How humiliating... and it wasn't even my perfume!
I had to spend the last few days out at schools since our new year just started. And, of course, I came home with a nasty cold. I took some Zycam and hoped that it would keep the cold from setting in. I use the Zycam nose gel. You squirt the gel in your nose but it is designed to stay in the lower part of your nostrils...it's not like a nose spray that gets snorted up. But I accidentally snorted a little of it while trying to swat a mosquito. This led to a long, painful night. My sinuses were in so much pain. It felt as if someone had poured acid in my nose. I felt like Helen Hunt in that after-school special she did about drugs... remember the one where she jumped out of a second story window? That's exactly what I felt like doing. Now I know why Helen jumped. It was so awful.

I promise to post something good soon... that is, if August decides to stop being so bossy and give a little happiness.

My Ex - Desperate Housewives

2006-07-21T10:25:00.000-05:00

Blogger friends, it's official. I have broken up with Desperate Housewives. I even deleted it from my TiVo season pass lineup. Here's the scoop...

When I was first introduced to Desperate Housewives, I really wasn't interested. I felt that we didn't have anything in common as I am not a wife or desperate. So I basically blew it off even though it was asking me to hang out every Sunday night. Then one weekend, a group of friends were going to hang out and Desperate Housewives was there. So I gave it a chance. And to my surprise, I liked it! We started hanging out every Sunday night and I couldn't wait for our next meeting.

Then summer came and the season was over. I thought I would die... but then I remembered the re-runs. I had a lot of catching up to do with Desperate Housewives so I still kept watching on Sunday nights. Those re-runs are what made me fall in love with it and it's many characters.

Finally, fall came around and it was time to start a new, fresh season with my guilty pleasure. Each Sunday, I would gear up and get all ready for an exciting, thrilling ride. But each date was a let down. The magic was gone. Something in Desperate Housewives changed and I just couldn't get over it. I didn't even recognize it anymore... everything was wrong. I kept trying to watch because I just knew that it would come around. I didn't want to give up.

In order for a relationship to succeed, both sides have to work. And I felt as though I was the one doing all the work. I was the one having to forgive it everytime it was not living up to the expectations America had given it. I was the one having to defend it each time someone made fun of me for loving it. But the fight is over and I've moved on.

My TiVo will no longer be recording it and that means Sunday nights are free. We've been flirting with an Italian from New Jersey that wants that Sunday night spot. But he's a little shady and unpredictable and there are rumors that he's involved with the mob. So we'll see how that goes. Who knows, maybe something totally new will come in and sweep Sunday nights off its feet. I'll let you know how it goes.

Livia, The Eskimo Hut and Other Panhandle Goodies

2006-07-11T17:20:00.000-05:00

Hi friends! Sorry it's taken me forever to post the stories about my Amarillo trip. There is a reason for it and it's mixed into this posting. So here goes...

Friday
On Friday, June 23, I voluntarily got into a car with my sister and her family. Why I agreed to ride for five hours with my 2 nephews, ages 7 and 9, is beyond me. The trip consisted of beef jerky smells, little boy snoring and the soundtrack of High School Musical. But it actually was fun because my nephews are now old enough for me to joke around with. It was a good time. I got to Amarillo and immediately went to Livia Woodburn's house. You gotta love Livia and her sweet family. They always let me crash at their Casa de Woodburn.

That night we met up with some old high school friends at a restaurant called Basil Doc's Pizza. Belinda, Micheal, Livia and I ate tons of food and drank tons of adult beverages. I drank a whole carafe of sangria. Well, Belinda did have a glass of it... but I pretty much polished off the whole thing. And it was only $10 for the whole carafe!! Can you believe that? Drinks in Amarillo are so cheap! After stuffing our faces, we went to Burberry's and met up with Chris, Chad, Betty and several other friends. We talked and drank and laughed about old times. Chris was getting fidgety and we knew he wanted to go to The Golden Light Cantina. So we packed up and hit the Golden Light - which is Chris' second home. There was a great band playing there and they even had a fiddle player! Livia busted out her Polaroid Camera... it's an old school Polaroid that actually works. She is famous for that camera and the interesting photos that she takes with it. So the band finished up their set and suddenly 2:00 a.m. was approaching. As we were finishing our beers, we noticed that Belinda had walked away. She had gone to the backstage area where the band was chilling out. When we found her, she was wearing a cowboy hat and playing the fiddle. After several photos, we left The Golden Light and went home.

Saturday
On Saturday, I had to meet up with my family at La Fiesta. It's a restaurant in Amarillo where my grandparents were celebrating their 60th Anniversary. My family planned a short and sweet lunch for them. I got to the restaurant with Livia and I had a sinking suspicion that my cousins would assume we were lesbians. That side of my family has not met my super hot fireman boyfriend, so I kinda think they got the wrong impression. Oh well, who cares? Livia is hot so even if I was a lesbian I would totally date her!

Anyway, I talked with my family; many of whom I had not seen in years. It was fun to catch up with them but I couldn't help but turn my gaze into the bar area of the restaurant where the TV was located. Mexico was playing Argentina that day and I really do enjoy a good dose of the World Cup. So I got in trouble for focusing more on the game than on my family. (Sorry, mom.) Luckily, the food arrived and distracted me. I ordered chicken flautas because I kinda wanted to stay on the safe side. However, I quickly realized I was nowhere near the safe side. I bit into my flauta and a puddle of grease came spurting out of the bottom end. Yuck! I didn't eat the rest of my food and left the restaurant hungry. Bummer.

We regrouped at Livia's house then made our way to Hereford. My family planned a little "after party" for my grandparents. Livia suggested that we stop by the Eskimo Hut and get a frosty beverage on the way. The Eskimo Hut is this little drive up joint that sells alcoholic snow cones. They put it in a styrofoam cup with a lid. Then they put the cup in a heat-sealed plastic bag. The side of the bag says some crap about Texas laws against driving with an open alcoholic container. Evidently, the heat-sealed plastic bag passes for a closed container. As we approached the Hut, I was confused at what to order as they have widely increased their flavor options since my days at WTAMU. Then, Livia reached into her car's console and pulled out a menu! She frequents the Hut and has a whole menu in her car. Gotta love Liv! I chose a Hot Mama which was a mixture of cherry, pineapple, cream and some sort of liquor. It was like biting into those Cherry Sour candies. Yummy. Livia got the Orange Dreamsicle and I almost fought her for it.

We got to Hereford and basically just sat around my grandparents' backyard while loud Spanish music was blaring. My grandfather came out of the house holding a CD as though it were gold. He handed it over to the guy by the CD player and said, "This song is for my sweetheart." He walked over to ask my grandmother to dance. She heard the song and said, "Oh, I hate this song. Pick another one!" We all laughed hysterically; even grandpa laughed. He finally found another song and they sweetly danced in the back yard under the apricot tree.

We left Hereford and went back to Amarillo. We met up with some friends at a piano bar which was a lot of fun. But I was so tired and I really wanted to curl up and sleep. We made it an early night and I was in bed by midnight.

Sunday
My mom called me on Saturday and said, "We'll stop by Livia's house to pick you up at 9:00 a.m. on Sunday" But in my mom's lingo, that means 8:30 a.m. So I got up early, showered and was packed by 8:15 when mom called and said, "Are you ready?" Like clockwork.

We rolled out of Amarillo by 8:45 a.m. and made it safely back home. But when I walked into my house it felt like a sauna. My house was 99 degrees and there was hot air blowing from the vents. The unit outside was sitting quietly - not moving a single blade. I spent the next 2 nights away from my house because I was arguing with my A/C repair company because the unit is under warranty and they didn't want to fix it. Long story short, I didn't have to pay for repairs and I now have time to write blogs at a comfy 79 degrees.

Micheal, Belinda, me, Betty and Chris hanging out

Livia and me after a long night

My cute nieces, Michelle and Elizabeth, at lunch

The land from whence we came

My grandparents dancing on their 60th anniversary

If you're from the Panhandle, you know exactly who this is

Junebug-less June

2006-07-06T09:56:00.000-05:00

Wow, June passed me by. I looked at the calendar today and realized that I didn't post much in June. I actually made some funny observations in June and I really wanted to post them... I just didn't get around to it. There are many times in my day where I say, "Dude, that's so going into the blog." And yet, I just slack off. Sorry, friends. Here's the quick hit list:

Father's Day/Dad's Birthday
To celebrate my dad's two big days, I took him to Antares in Reunion Tower. For you non-Dallas people, that's the big building in downtown Dallas with the big ball at the top. The big ball is actually a restaurant that makes a full circle in about an hour. It moves rather slowly so you don't really feel as though you are moving. And if you've ever been in a car while my mom is driving then you kinda know what it feels like. We got to the restaurant and were starving. Dad ordered a big, fat steak and I ordered the seafood pasta. The waiter actually grinned after we placed our orders; he looked extraordinarily happy. Weird, right? Turns out the Reunion Hyatt (which it connected to Reunion Tower) was hosing a scout show for models. The restaurant was full of the models who only ordered hot tea and water. The waiter was so happy that us fatties ordered real food that he did a little Snoopy-Dance on his way back to the kitchen. I'm not even kidding.

Amarillo
I made a trip up to the Texas Panhandle. Yes, it's true... I grew up there in the plains of Texas. My roots came from the flat, plain soil that is Hereford, Texas. My roots now live on the east side of Plano, Texas and it seems odd that I still live in a "plain-o" part of Texas. Anyway... I have to make a whole new posting for my Amarillo trip because there is a lot to include. But to give you a little teaser, it involves my grandparents, a certain Livia Woodburn and her polaroid camera, The Eskimo Hut's frozen drinks and a flauta that spurted grease out of the bottom end when it was bitten. I'm sure the suspense is killing you. ;o)

No Junebugs!
Dudes, where are the Junebugs? How did we get all the way through June with none of those golden, flighty pests? Of course, I'm not necessarily fond of Junebugs... I'm more of a firefly type of girl. However, I noticed that I was able to leave my porch light on and not have to sweep out 5 Junebugs after opening my front door. I also didn't have my annual "Junebug Hair Freak Out" which involves a Junebug getting stuck in my hair and me flailing around and screaming. I think it's our oddball weather. We never really got a full-blown winter in this part of Texas and now it's wreaking havoc in the bug world. I miss you and your golden glory, Junebugs. Please come back next year!

California Love

2006-06-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

Whew! What an exciting week! California proved to be the entertainment beast that I thought it was. I've broken down our days below and included some photos. In order to protect the innocent, I had to keep some stuff out of here. I hope you can understand... and if you were there, I know you will appreciate my silence. :)

Sunday, May 28
My brother, Leroy, my boyfriend, Marcos, and I flew to L.A. on an afternoon flight and it was soooo looonnng. It actually was 2 hours and 40 minutes in the air, but it felt like 8 hours. Lucky for me, I'm short and I laid across the seat so I was comfy. As soon as we landed we found my brother's high school buddy, Jason, who now lives in Cali. We picked up our rental car only to find out that we'd been given a free "upgrade." As we drove out of the lot in a PT Cruiser, we began to wonder how this was an upgrade. We got to the Omni downtown and it was fantastic. Again, we'd been given a free upgrade and this time it really was an upgrade to a huge, fancy room. We dropped off our stuff and headed out to Hollywood. We saw all those corny street performers and people dressed as SuperGirl, Freddy Kruger and Batman on Hollywood Blvd. Then we watched a movie at the Grauman's Chinese Theater. We walked up and down the sidewalk but the whole time we were looking down at the celebrity names in the stars. Did you know the Marilyn Monroe star on the Walk of Fame is right in front of the McDonalds? It was getting late and we went back to the hotel for a little sleep.

Monday, May 29 - Memorial Day
Jason, Leroy, Marcos and I got up and went straight to the Grand Central Market. It's a Mexican market in downtown L.A. with all kinds of food, produce, gifts, etc. It was one of the best places I've ever seen in California. After we pigged out on tacos, we met up with my friend, Britton. She is in law school in L.A. and so graciously let us stay with her for the remainder of our vacation. She had just returned from a little road trip to a wedding so she was tired, but she has stamina so she didn't think twice about heading to Venice Beach with us. The drive to Venice Beach was thick with traffic... but that's normal for L.A. on a holiday. Venice Beach didn't disappoint us. We saw all kinds of people wearing all kinds of things... and some not wearing anything at all. After a few cocktails and some fun in the sun, we packed up and went to a baseball game. Britton's friend, also named Jason, joined us. We had so much fun watching the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim beat the Minnesota Twins. It really was a good game and afterwards we stayed for a fireworks show. Ah, America!

Tuesday, May 30
This day started WAY too early. I was showered, dressed and ready to go at 5:45 a.m. We had to be at The Price is Right by 6:00 a.m. to get a place in line. And even though it was early, the excitement of seeing Bob made it all worth it! We got some food, got in line and were finally given an "Order of Arrival Number" by a page that works for CBS. Britton pointed out that the page is probably a legal intern and we began to wonder if that would become Britton's new job one day. After hours of waiting, they began to hand out "Priority Numbers." That is the golden ticket that gets you the trademark nametag and a seat in the audience. As we patiently waited we began to notice something... there were about 1,000 people waiting and only 335 people fit into 1 taping. I began to worry. Then we heard one of those pages say, "We have handed out all the Priority Numbers so anyone waiting in line is now on stand-by." We were given our stand-by numbers of 84, 85, 86, and 87 and were told to come back at 10:30 a.m. Things didn't look good. But we didn't give up. We walked over to The Grove which is a cool mall and the Farmer's Market which is nearby. We killed some time there and went back to TPIR.

When we got back we heard some good news and bad news. The bad news was that any group of 20 or more gets a guaranteed seat and there were 5 large groups reserved for that day. That's why we were put on stand-by so early. But the good news was that 2 of the groups didn't show and there was hope for those on stand-by. It was around 10:45 when we realized that many of those that were on stand-by had given up and didn't return... and they missed their chance because WE GOT IN! We got our cool name tags and waited some more. Finally they called our group into the interview process. Evidently, they choose the contestants based up on a very brief meeting in an "interview" with about 15 other people. They put all 15 people in a row and ask each one these 2 questions:
1. Where are you from?
2. What do you do for a living?
That's it... depending on what you say to those 2 questions will determine whether or not they like you and if you'll be on the show. A lady in our group sang a little song... something about "Plinko, Plinko little star." And she was chosen to come on down! Britton, Leroy, Marcos and I were not chosen to come on down but we had a GREAT time yelling in the audience. It was so much fun to see the small set that looks so large on TV. It was a a great day.

After that, we headed out to Universal Studios City Walk and enjoyed some junk food, corny gift shops, and even a long ride on a shuttle bus. But I hit a wall and could hardly keep my eyes open. We went back to Britton's place where she introduced us to the world of garlic knots and Johnnie's Pizza.

Wednesday, May 30
This was our last day in California. We laid low in the morning and took it easy. We ate lunch at Jaxx on Sunset Blvd. and then drove around Beverly Hills. We walked around Rodeo Drive and window shopped at Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabanna, Tiffany, etc. It was nice to look at all those incredible designer clothing... even if it was only through the window display. Britton introduced us to Sprinkles Cupcakes in Beverly Hills. WOW! Those things are like nothing I've ever tasted. There was a line waiting to get even 1 cupcake and now I see why people are willing to wait. I bit into my chocolate coconut cupcake and was surprised to find that something so small could make life so good. My tastebuds were confused and appreciative all at the same time. I can't wait to go there again. After our relaxing day, it was time to head home. We landed in Dallas around midnight so we were really tired... but it was so much fun.

Traveling with my brother was fun... even though my other siblings warned me not to travel with him. Traveling with my sweetie is always fun... and this time having Britton there made it even better. I was to happy to get some hang time with Britton on her new stomping grounds. It was nice to just hang out and laugh with her again. Of course, she'll be back in Texas next weekend and I'm sure I'll have even more stories to tell. But for now, enjoy the pics below!

Gas is expensive in Cali!

Jason (on left) and my brother at the Omni

Me at the Omni

Marcos and me in Hollywood

Marcos ordering lunch at the market

Britton and me at Venice Beach

Marcos and me at Venice Beach

My brother and me showing our family ties

Putting my toes in the Pacific

Britton and me at the baseball game

Britton is the only person in Cali who can properly pronounce Coors Light

Britton and me at The Grove - waiting for TPIR

Here we are after TPIR!

Five Things About May... so far

2006-05-17T10:34:00.000-05:00

So it's halfway through May and I haven't posted at all this month. It's been a little crazy and there's a lot going on. But I have pulled a short list of events - just 5 things.

1. Cindo de Mayo
This year, Cinco de Mayo was more like Drunko de Mayo. I went to hang out with my family in Denton and the cocktails got WAY out of hand. The next morning my sister and her family were going to be in the Cinco de Mayo parade since they are Denton's Family of the Year. But I had the hardest time getting out of bed and I was mortified to find pina colada stuck in my hair. I did manage to get some pics... they're below.

2. The Perfect Storm
There's something wrong with the air in Dallas. I don't have allergies, but over the last 2 weeks I have come to understand the pain of those with allergies. I feel terrible. To make matters worse, I got a cold. My doctor told me I had an infection and had to treat BOTH the cold and the allergies. Getting a cold right in the middle of an allergy fit truly is The Perfect Storm.

3. Aurorica
My mom's name is Aurora and if you have met her you know that she's a bold presence. I sometimes refer to her as Aurorica because she could be her very own country and would probably demand to be its dictator. I know my mom is tough, but that's what makes her so perfect. On Mother's Day I always remind her that she is a rock star and I am blessed with a mom who taught me to be independent and to develop my own identity.

4. California Dreamin'
In 11 days I'm flying to California with my sweetie and my brother. We're going to see my friend B who is in law school out there. And to see my brother's friend J who has lived out there for years. AND TO SEE BOB BARKER! I have been watching The Price is Right for years, however over the last 2 months I have been studying it. If I get asked to 'come on down' I'll be ready.

5. Audrey Jane Miller
My friend Jenn and her husband had their third child, Audrey Jane. She is welcomed by two loving older brothers. Sweet Audrey was born with CDH, a birth defect in which the diaphragm does not close properly while in the womb. Therefore, the abdominal organs form in the chest area. Audrey is still in the NICU in Dallas and each day she's fighting for her life. Please keep her in your thoughts and send her some positive energy! And visit her blog if you have time.
http://spaces.msn.com/jennmillerblog

My nephew in his Guayabera shirt on Cinco de Mayo.

The Havis Family - Denton's Family of the Year!

Names

2006-04-28T14:53:00.000-05:00

A while back my sister sent me a link to a site that will tell you when your name was popular, the years in which the popularity rose and declined, etc. It's actually a very cool site and you can see it here.

My sister pointed out that my name was most popular in 1880. It was in the top ten names given to girls in the late 1800s in the U.S. As time went by it decreased in popularity. In fact, the year the name was given to me was its LOWEST point of popularity. Thanks, mom and dad!

Then, I remembered the many, many times people say things like, "My great-aunt is named Clara." Or, "Clara was my grandmother's name!" While that is slightly depressing, it doesn't upset me. (Call me Claire or Carla and then you'll see all kinds of angry!)

I've come to terms with my old lady name. When I meet people, I actually say, "My name is Clara, like an old lady." They think it's funny and I resist laughing with them. I usually just smile and hope my dentures don't fall out. :)

Do you like your name?

Lubbock And All Its Glory

2006-04-23T18:17:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I went to Lubbock this weekend for my friend Mike's senior art exhibit. He'll be graduating from Tech next month, but he invited all of us to his exhibit because he's not into the whole cap and gown thing. Anyway... here's the story about my weekend and there are photos below. Here goes...

I flew to Lubbock way too early on Friday morning. The flight ended up being delayed, but I finally got to the Panhandle. I sat next to the most bizaar man on the plane who kept reading my Cosmo over my shoulder. He even asked me about the Man Manual section of Cosmo. Eww! Anyway, the Lubbock airport only has FOUR entrances but I still had trouble finding Mike. Finally we found each other and headed off to do a million things. Lunch, shopping, a beer run, etc.

I was almost unable to buy my pineapple rum because the 22-year-old girls working at Doc's Liquor thought my ID was fake. In a way, I was flattered but I was really wanting that rum so I ended up getting huffy. Long story short - I got the goods and Mike got about 200 bucks worth of beer for his party! Then Mike took me out to Slaton, TX (where his exhibit was held) to see his artwork. I'd never seen it close up before. The photos below are a few of his cool sculptures. Mike is a rock star!

Liv drove into town while Mike and I were hogging down at Freebirds. We told Liv to meet us at the hotel where she and I were staying. When Mike and I pulled into the parking lot, Liv had already popped open a Lone Star beer from her big cooler that was fully stocked. There's something very "Panhandley" about drinking Lone Star in a hotel parking lot! We decided to save our beer for the party and we went to a local bar to drink.

On the way to the bar, Liv and I got mooned. This little mini-van pulled up next to us and began honking. We looked over and saw what looked like a large ham pressed against the windows. The mini-van had really dark tinting that I'm pretty sure is illegal in Texas. But we could still see the action. Typically, after a mooning, the driver pulls away or turns. But we were at a red light.... so we sat there in the most awkward moment. The girl in the front passenger side of the mini-van looked so humiliated.

On Saturday, Liv and I went to the Buddy Holly Center. There is an area with some of his memorabilia and there is also an art gallery in there. It was actually very cool. The glasses Buddy Holly was wearing at the time of his death are in the memorial area. And the story is that there is blood and flesh still in the frames. Yuck! Liv and I walked around then hit the gift shop. We scored some killer Buddy Holly glasses of our own... girly ones. Pictures below!

We went out to Mike's exhibit that evening and he had a FULL house. There was good food, tons of drinks, good music and fantastic art. We all had a great time. After the exhibit we went to a local bar, The Gas Light, and had drinks. (We actually went through Mike's two-hundy worth of beer and all of Liv's stash.) We ended our night at the bar and headed home.

I flew home way too early this morning and that's why I'm already here posting this. I couldn't wait to share the stories and photos. I am so very blessed with such amazing friends and I am grateful for weekends like this one. These people are gold.

Liv, Clara and Mike - check out our Buddy Holly glasses!

What WTAMU has brought together, let no man put asunder.

Two of Mike's sculptures

This is my favorite sculpture of Mike's

Mike and his beautiful sister, Christie

Mike and Chase

Liv and me at the exhibit rocking our Buddy Holly glasses. The Budapest t-shirt is an inside joke that very few people can know. ;o)

Here I am being goofy at The Buddy Holly Center.

This is my new tie-skirt that I finally got to wear!

Bedtimes, Baking, Books and Bob Barker

2006-04-17T16:30:00.000-05:00

At the start of this year, I made my new year's resolutions. If you don't remember, they were:

Finish my novel
Attend a taping of The Price is Right
Go to bed earlier
Cook for myself more often

So here's an update on how I'm doing with those...

1. The Book
I'm still writing but I got really stuck on one part. This story being told in this book is directly from a brief period of my family's history. I need to do what I can to protect them but I also need the story to have some connectivity. So I'm working on getting over that hump. I still don't have a title for the book either.

2. Bob Barker
I AM DOING THIS ONE NEXT MONTH!!!!! I am going to California with my brother and my sweetie. We are meeting up with my girl friend, B, who lives out there. The 4 of us will be attending a taping of The Price is Right on Tuesday, May 30. It will air on CBS on June 6, 2006. The producers interview every single person in the audience and that is how they choose who will 'come on down.' To be honest, I don't want to go onstage. I just want to be that annoying person in the audience that yells prices to the contestants.

3. Bedtimes
This one didn't work for me. I really, really did try. I moved my cleaning times, I switched my evening rituals and even got my clothes ready a whole week in advance. But I still need time to watch the back up of programs on my TiVo and most importantly, I need talk time with my sweetie. Sometimes, our first long chat about our day doesn't start til 9:00 p.m. And nobody can convince me to hit the hay before having a long chat with my sweetie.

4. Baking
I do cook for myself more often. I'm very proud of myself, actually. I have found recipes that are more conducive to the single lifestyle... things that reheat well or can be made in smaller portions. I also have found that I can save some serious cash by not going out for meals. But my downfall is baking. I need a baker's course or something. Don't get me wrong, I have no intentions of entering a pastry bake-off or anything like that. I just need more baking education. Who teaches stuff like that?

So there's the update on my resolutions. Did you make any? How are they coming along?

Oh... I saw the guy who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite. Took a quick pic.

Yes, that is the Selena memorial statue behind me.

The Shout Out

2006-04-12T16:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, there's a lot going on in the friend world these days. I thought I'd take a moment to send a quick howdy-ho to my buddies doing great things.

Mike - He is finally graduating from Texas Tech with an art degree! Instead of walking across the stage, he has decided to invite everyone to his senior art exhibit. His sculptures are fantastic! I will be flying to Lubbock for the exhibit... it's from April 21 - 23. Look for pics after that.

Michelle - She's finally graduating from the College of Santa Fe. She is also an artist, like Mike. Unfortunately, I cannot attend her graduation... but I'm so very proud of her! I'll ask her to send some pics for me to post.

Susie - She has started her first blog! Welcome to the blogger community, Suz! If you'd like to see her blog click here. It's funny... Suz will make you smile.

Meagan - She turned 30!! We had so much fun at her party. Most of the pics cannot be published, but I did post a few below.

Braden - My nephew is having a very important test this week with his doctors. Please send him your positive thoughts and prayers. Also, he is still raising money for his March of Dimes campaign. So far he's raised over $2,000! Check out his pic below.

Well, that's it for now. Enjoy the pics and talk to you after I get back from Lubbock.

Here's Meagan trying to decide if she should take her surprise birthday drink.

Julia and Phil at Meagan's party.

Braden and me at the arboretum.

Just and extra pic I decided to add of my other nephews, Jackson and Jonathan.

Thank You For Smoking

2006-04-03T21:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I went to the movies with my sweetie on Saturday. We had planned on going to the 8:40 showing but we dozed off and didn't wake up til 9. We thought we'd just skip the movies but there happened to be a 10:40 showing of Thank You For Smoking.

We got ready to go and jumped in the car... only to hit EVERY red light on the way to the theater. It was 10:35 and we still had about 3 miles to go. I panicked a little bit because I'm a sucker for movie trailers and I felt them slipping away. I was beginning to think this was the Universe's mean April Fool's Day trick on M and me. But I stood my ground and decided to miss the trailers. And man, that movie was SSOO worth it!

I predict that Thank You For Smoking will be nominated for some kind of Oscar. Not cinematography, not best actor, not even one of those weird technical ones either. But it is a the shining beacon for best screen adaptation so far. Dudes, that movie rocked. It was laugh-out-loud funny and so compelling!

Don't get me wrong, it had its bad points. I mean, Katie Holmes is in it. She plays a trampy newspaper reporter. But since I knew that going into the theater, I just imagined Claire Danes every time Katie was onscreen. (Dude, Katie Holmes needs to be de-hypnotized and de-Cruised big time.... but that's another blog posting.)

The movie is a satirical comedy about the tobacco industry and those who are hired to paint a happy face on it. It also ties in the alcohol and firearms industry. When those controversial industries are faced with a lawsuit or called out on a talk show, someone must defend them... and this is the movie about those defenders. I am not a cigarette smoker, but I surprisingly found myself rooting for this low, depressing man who defended the tobacco industry. Then, I found myself loathing the tobacco industry. I walked out of there wondering how anyone could ever light up again.

So my sweetie and I left the theater along with the tons of people that also enjoyed the movie. As soon as we stepped outside, I counted TEN people lighting up a ciggy. WTF?? Were they not paying attention? Didn't they get it? W. T. F. ??

Anyway, catch the flick if you can. And for the love of Pete, please don't smoke.

A Letter to St. Patty's Day

2006-03-17T22:28:00.000-06:00

Dear St. Patty's Day,

Why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you? I mean, I'm Catholic. I totally understand the religious reasons behind this Catholic Feast Day. I get it. And yet, you punish me every year. Why won't you let me partake in the green beer and other festivities? Do you think I'm over-reacting? Well, allow me to walk you down memory lane.

St. Patrick's Day - 2004 - Bennigan's in Plano, TX
Two of my girlfriends and I went to the cliche Irish pub/restaurant and decided it would be corny but fun. We got to the door and they charged us 5 bucks each. That's right, 5 dollars to get into a restaurant where I would eventually pay to eat. WTF? Then, as if that wasn't insulting enough, we got a "special" menu made just for that night with a bunch of gross shit on it. We ended up leaving hungry after dropping 20 bucks total. Bummer.
St. Patrick's Day - 2005 - The Down Under Pub in Frisco, TX
Ok, I know you're judging me now. You're probably wondering why I went to an Australian place on the holy grail of Irish holidays. But it was the only place that didn't have lines wrapped around it to get in. Plus, there were a few hot guys in there. BUT, we never got a good table. We ended up standing by the bar all night right under a cold air vent and they didn't have green beer. Then, to our surprise, the place closed at midnight. I almost barfed up my brown beer when last call was made at 11:40. Double bummer!
St. Patrick's Day - 2006 - Sherlocks in Addison, TX
I picked up my friend, G, and we grabbed some sushi. Then we drove to Sherlocks and saw a loooong line. There were so many cars that we actually parked half a mile from the entrance. (I measured it!) Then as we were patiently waiting in the long line, a loud crack of thunder shook us and it started pouring. We decided to abort Mission St. Patty and head for the car. But we had half a mile to run in the pouring down rain. Everything on me was soaked through when I got into my car. It was so gross. As I type this, I'm home at 10:30 p.m. on St. Patty's Day in my pajamas with rain hair. Triple bummer!

After the last 2 years, you think I would have learned my lesson. But no. Obviously St. Patrick's Day is out to get me. So, third time was the charm. You win St. Patty's Day. I concede. I regreat not ever trying green beer, but the war is over and you are victorious. I will never try to partake in your spirited festivities again. It was nice knowing you.

Bye,
Clara
p.s. If you think I'm wearing green on March 17 next year, you're out of your mind. And if you try to pinch me, I'll give you a titty twister.

Next Blog

2006-03-02T15:46:00.000-06:00

Have you ever just hit the "Next Blog" button to see what you get? It's kinda like channel surfing for a good blog. Can we call it blog surfing? Ok, deal.

So, I was blog surfing earlier today. Man, some people are totally out of their minds! I would list links to their blogs, but some of them looked satanic and I'd hate to have the spawn of satan chasing me. Others were totally pornographic and I can't post links to those because I'm almost certain I'd get cyber-arrested for it.

Anyway, something really creepy yet cool caught my eye. It was a rather morbid site that was written in the point of view of someone in "the afterlife." In one posting, the blogger wrote things she wished her "living friends" knew about her that day. I totally dug that one posting (the rest were creepy realizations about the human body as it decomposes - yuck) and I think I'm going to copy her on that one.

So here goes... here are 10 things I want my friends to know about me today:

My life totally changed after the birth of my nephew, Braden
I still watch reruns of "My So-Called Life" because I'm a total Gen X-er
The Shins, The Beatles and Pearl Jam are all competing to be my favorite band
I cannot sleep without my electric blanket
Cantaloupe is always in my house because I love it that much
I can tap dance and belly dance; but only my boyfriend has seen me do it
My bird, Pedro, learned how to climb up his play ladder
Catcher in the Rye is my favorite book and I've read it a dozen times
My first novel will be about my family and I have been struggling with a title for months
My favorite pic of M and me is this one:

What 10 things should I know about you? E-mail me and let me know.

Super Fine Valentine

2006-02-27T12:44:00.000-06:00

Ahhh, February. Just the mention of this month sends some people screaming and others swooning. I guess it has to do with Valentine's Day. You know, I don't really mind Valentine's Day. I mean, if it weren't for Valentine's Day, men would never get boxer shorts with oversized hearts all over them. And women would never have an excuse to eat an entire box of chocolates.

Although, there is 1 thing I never really understood. Why do people hate it so much? Some say it's a "Hallmark" created holiday that just sucks more money out of your bank account right after the Christmas rush. But that is simply not true and it sometimes makes me angry to hear such ignorance. I was reading Vogue magazine and there was a one-page article about how some "fashionable" people were celebrating Valentine's Day. Most of them trashed it and dismissed it as a commercialized holiday. As if their $2,000 Prada tank top isn't just commercialized hype either.

I am the first to admit that I don't spend a lot of money on Valentine's Day. My sweetie gave me a nice gift and I gave him one. But we didn't go over the top. It was just a special day to spend together and reflect on how blessed our bond is. It's a day to celebrate love. If you are one of those maniacs who spends thousands on some corny gift then that's your own stupidity. If you buy into the hype of Valentine's Day, then maybe you should also buy into the hype of $2,000 tank tops.

The truth is this: Valentine's Day should actually be called St. Valentine's Day. It's a Catholic feast day for St. Valentine, the patron saint of love. If you are not Catholic, you probably should not be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway. If you are not Catholic, do you celebrate Ash Wednesday? How about St. Francis of Assisi Day with the Blessing of the Animals? I bet you don't.

People who are of varying religious backgrounds don't mind celebrating St. Patrick's Day. And yes, that is also a Catholic feast day for St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. There are many Catholic holidays that were attacked by corporations in order to make a buck and that is a shame. But if you can see the true religious reasons for them, then it makes celebrating that holiday much more meaningful.

Please don't trash religious holidays because it just shows your ignorance, especially if you are not a practicing member of that faith. And if you happen to be a practicing Catholic, then Happy St. Valentine's Day to you!

January

2006-01-18T14:24:00.000-06:00

This month is only 18 days old -this year is only 18 days old- but so far we're off to a good start. I hope this momentum continues.

5 Cool Things About January (so far):

My mom won a kick ass award for her job as a Family Services Coordinator at an elementary school. She is the new Top Partnership Liaison for the state of Texas.
My older sister and her family won Family of the Year for the town she lives in.
My birds, Napoleon and Pedro, turned a year old this month.
I perfected my Baked Chicken Parmesan recipe.
My sweetie and I celebrate 6 months TODAY!

5 Crappy Things About January (so far):

I thought I was eating a black jelly bean, but it was a mutant bean with multiple flavors and they were all bad.
My Wonder Woman mouse pad had to be thrown away because of a freak accident involving a three hole punch.
American Express withdrew the wrong amount out of my checking account for my last payment; thus making my car payment, phone bill and cable bill late.
My neighbor's outdoor faucet broke and flooded his yard and mine.
My other neighbor's daughter quit Girl Scouts and I have no link to the cookies this year.

All in all, the good outweighs the bad by a landslide. Here's hoping 2006 brings better things than 2005.

Did you hear about...

2006-01-10T12:22:00.000-06:00

...the burning mouse that started a house fire in New Mexico? This mouse must be a descendant of Stuart Little. No shit, man! Get this... a dude in NM was burning leaves and found a live mouse. In order to "dispose" of it, he threw it into the pile of burning leaves. That mouse was clearly seeking revenge when it miraculously ran out of the fire -even though it was covered in flames itself- and went straight under the house near a window. Shortly, the whole house was on fire and the homeowner lost everything! Can you imagine what it was like to see a mouse engulfed in flames running across the yard and directly underneath a house? Good gravy.

There are so many lessons to learn from all this - so many metaphors - so much symbolism. But none of that matters when you stop think about what will happen when PETA gets a hold of that dude.

Happy New Year Ya'll!

2006-01-06T09:51:00.000-06:00

Happy 2006! Wow, I can't believe it's 2006. The other day I was watching Good Morning America and they were talking about an actor who has not made a movie since 1997. And they were talking like that was FOREVER ago. Then I stopped and thought, holy crap that was 9 years ago! That is a long time for an actor not to make a movie. I was so thrown by how fast the last 9 years have gone by that I tuned out - I never got the name of the "disappearing" actor.

So then I started doing the math. I realized that my ten year high school reunion was TWO years ago! Man, I'm old! My ten year COLLEGE reunion is in TWO years. Damn, I'm really old! I'm not gonna lie, I got a little depressed. But then I remembered my grandma is 83. Guess I'm not so old after all.

Ok, so... resolution time. I actually have resolutions this year! I will need lots of luck and many blessings to get them done. And there's not even that many. Here they are in no particular order:

Finish my novel
Attend a taping of The Price is Right
Go to bed earlier
Cook for myself more often

I hope I can do it. I'll keep you posted. (ouch, no pun intended there.) If you guys have any resolutions let me know. I'd love to hear them.

The Wedding Story

2006-01-03T13:07:00.000-06:00

Ok,

I apologize for taking forever to finish up this story...but here goes. So I'm in NY for my friend's wedding. We get there and everyone is super duper nice. I'm taking sugary sweet, man. The ceremony was positively beautiful. It was meaningful and deep - which was very different from the quickie weddings I've been to lately.

After the ceremony, the wedding party had to go up to the front of the church for pictures. My sweetie, M, was in the back taking photos with another friend of mine that was at the wedding. One of the ladies from the church walked over to them and said hello. We'd met her the night before at the rehearsal dinner. Let's just call her B for the sake of privacy. So, B walks over to M and starts talking about the lovely ceremony. M comments to her that the church itself was lovely. It's nestled in a wooded area full of large trees and hills. B looks right at him and says, "Yes, but this area is changing. People are forgetting about what happened on September 11 and they 're letting the Muslims into this area." She said it with a firey tone and almost metamorphosied into Hitler.

What made me mad was that we were in a church. No one should say crass comments like that in a church. Secondly, B is the pastor's WIFE. How could this "Christian" woman say such a nasty thing? Finally, she said that we are all forgetting what happened on September 11 to my sweetie.... who's a FIREFIGHTER! Of course he did not forget what happened. He almost cried at the World Trade Center Site. Firefighters are a brotherhood - he still aches for those that died that day. How dare she make such an insulting comment to my M. If that bitch were not pushing 60, I would have given her a titty twister on the spot!

Always a Bridesmaid

2005-12-09T22:43:00.000-06:00

Once again I have had the honor of being a witness in a wedding. I love being a maid of honor. I'm the one that gets to remind the bride that "I do" means F-O-R-E-V-E-R. (insert voice over from The Sandlot here!)

Anyway, last Friday I was on an express bus from Port Authority in midtown NYC and heading to Wayne, New Jersey. My friend got married in Wayne but we were staying in NYC. So that express bus was our ride... and it took 30 minutes and cost $5.50! What a steal! That's cheaper and faster than the train.

The rehearsal at the church was a breeze. Then it was time for the rehearsal dinner. I sat inbetween my friend getting married, L, and my sweetie, M. Everything was going fine until one of the pastors from the church and his wife made crass comments about other religions. They bashed Catholics, Methodists, Episcopalians, etc... It was bad. Then they turned to M and said, "Are you and Clara involved in the church?" M said, "Yes, we're both Catholic." I thought those people were going to barf up their $20 chicken. It was a very awkward moment and made us all feel weird. We called it a night shortly after that and hopped the express bus back to NYC.

That night, we froze our asses off but demanded to do more sightseeing. We strolled through Times Square, saw the famous tree in Rockafeller Center, posed for some corny pics and M ate a pretzel from a street vendor. He actually ate a hotdog from a street vendor in Chinatown, I thought for sure he'd get food poisoning and spend the whole day in the hotel room. But he was fine. And the pretzel did him no harm either.

Anyway, it was close to midnight and we had to be up for an EARLY bus ride back out to New Jersery. Wait til you find out what happened after the wedding...yowza!

Here are some of my fav. pics from the city...

Me in front of the arch in Washington Square near NYU

L and me at her wedding

L and me at rehearsal

I Wanna Be A Part Of It...

2005-12-07T16:23:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I just got back from NYC. My friend, L, got married up there and I was her maid of honor. My sweetie, M, and I flew to NYC on Thursday so that we'd have some time to sightsee. This posting will cover just the first day. In the first 24 hours in NYC we managed to do the following:

survived a cab ride in rush hour traffic from La Guardia to the Upper East Side
almost purchased a Coach knock-off on Canal St. but ultimately refused it
saw a movie being filmed in Little Italy starring John Leguizamo
saw Oprah being escorted by David Letterman to The Color Purple on Broadway
saw Donald Trump, Sidney Poitier, Gayle King, Jamie Foxx and David Hasselhoff also going to The Color Purple
took a horse-drawn carriage ride in Central Park
went ice skating in Central Park and only fell once (it was M's fault)
got 2 slices of pizza and an orange soda for 4 bucks to share with M
strolled into Serendipity for a frozen hot chocolate and a drug store sundae
sobbed at Ground Zero
shopped at Century 21
walked by a group of NYU student workers that were on strike by a university library
posed for a photo under the arch in Washington Square
accidentally ended up in East Harlem and freaked the hell out

Long Time, No Post

2005-11-29T10:28:00.000-06:00

I've been swamped, people. And J, I do not appreciate your tacky e-mail about me not posting in a while. I know I've been slacking off... sorry. :)

So here's what has been going on...

I SAW OPRAH!!!!!!! My sister, Connie, and I flew to Chicago at the end of October and went to a taping of the Oprah Winfrey show! The guest was George Clooney. He is positively dreamy. I had this weird out-of-body experience because I was sitting far too close to him. I almost flashed him. Then, ironically, we had a second taping that day about finding the right bra size. It was weird, and no, George did not see my boobs. (He left the set right after his show stopped taping.) I kinda did want Oprah to touch my boobs, but no luck. But it was FUN. We ended up with $250 in Nordstom's merchandise and the soundtrack to George Clooney's movie Good Night and Good Luck. You can see Connie and me in the audience during the George Clooney episode. It's on my TiVo if anyone wishes to come over and see it. No cameras are allowed inside so I only have 1 pic of us outside the studio...it's below.

I had my annual Halloween party again this year. I found this Mexican dress that my parents gave me when I was in 5th grade. That sucker still fit so that was my costume. My dad won the costume contest this year... he was Zorro. I added a photo below.

I finished my bellydancing classes. Those were SO fun. I know a slow routine that I do with a veil. And I learned 2 really fast routines. I'm far too embarrassed to show anyone, except my sweetie, M. So you'll have to just trust me that the classes paid off. :o)

Of course, I turned 30 on Nov. 22! My family and friends planned a big surprise party for me, but my dad spilled the beans. He sent me an e-mail saying, "Clara, are you having a margarita machine for your party?" I questioned my family and they came clean. However, they would not tell me the theme nor would they tell me the date, place, etc. It turned out to be a kick ass Mexican Fiesta! I haven't resized the pics yet, but I'll get some on here soon.

Sorry for this choppy post and I promise to be better about posting in the future.

Connie and me just before we saw Oprah!

Dad and me at the Halloween party.

I'm so geeky that this *should* be my car.

On the Soap Box

2005-10-14T13:53:00.000-05:00

I've always hated the fact that totally single men in their 30s are called bachelors and totally single women in their 30s are called old maids, spinsters or even lesbians.

I have a friend who is male, in his 30s and is still single. He's straight and a staunch workaholic, but he's also really funny and super cute. He says he cannot seem to find the right woman. (But in my opinion he cannot find a woman tolertant enough to accept his work schedule.) Anyway... not one person assumes he is going to end up old and alone and certainly no one implies that he is gay. They all say, "Well, the right woman will come along eventually," as if to imply that he's doing absolutely everything he can to win a fantastic woman.

I have a friend who is female, in her 30s and is still single. She's straight and is literally a genius, but she's also very congenial and such a pretty girl. She says cannot seem to find the right man. (But in my opinion she cannot find a man that is intelligent enough to stimulate her mind.) Anyway... everyone hears her age and automatically assumes that she will end up alone with a house full of cats. At a recent family function, she was asked *several* times if she was a lesbian. They all say, "Well, she's gonna end up alone with no children," as if to imply that there is no hope and all the men on this planet will pass her by.

Ok - I know what you're thinking. Why don't I set up these two single friends?? Dudes, I tried. It was like setting up Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee after the divorce. It was ugly. But I digress...

I'm bringing this up because I was asked about my personal life today at work. Some bitch made a nasty comment about me approaching 30 and still being single. She made no comment to the 41-year-old single man that was with us - only to me. Here's how it went down:

Bitch: So, Clara, how old are you?
Clara: I'm 29 and I'll be 30 in about 1 month.
B: Aren't you worried about getting older? I mean, you're not even married yet, right?
C: No, I'm not married. But I'm not really ready for marriage right now.
B: Well you should get ready. The clock is ticking and you are not getting any younger. It will be much harder for you to find a man as you get older.
C: Well, how old were you when you got married?
B: 26.
C: Oh really? Well, by the time I was 26, I had a Master's degree, I bought my second brand new car, I bought my first home, I had been to Europe 3 times and I did it completely and totally on my own.
B: I guess we all have different priorities in life.
C: Yes, we do. And it's sad when our elders are not sensitive to that fact. Especially since they should know better.

The conversation ended there and she said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. I think that women and men can be single, approaching their 30s/in their 30s, and truly be happy. I'm living proof.

15 Days

2005-10-10T14:26:00.000-05:00

In 15 days, I'll be sitting the same room as Oprah Winfrey. I know that means very little to some people. But it certainly means a whole hell of a lot to most people. Especially women, bi-curious guys and gay dudes. We love Oprah and here a few reasons why:

1. Oprah is a fox! No boob job, no liposuction, no facelift. Yes, she does wear wigs and has 10 people that do her makeup. And the lighting in her studio probably helps, but still... she's over 50 looks awesome.

2. Homegirl is tight with John Travolta. He is a weirdo Scientologist, but damn he is so flippin' cool!

3. She teaches you stuff that you didn't think you needed to know. It never actually occured to me that I should learn every detail of how to escape from a rapist while in a moving vehicle. But I do; we all should. It never occured to me that I should learn the exact, precise way of measuring my boobs at a certain time of the month in order to find the perfect bra. (Special shout-out to the creators of the Ipex bra at Victoria's Secret!)

4. Oprah made nerdiness cool. She is super intelligent and a bookworm... and she's proud of it. She feels no need to hide her inner-nerd. She even started her own book club. Remember 10 years ago when book clubs consisted of the hairy guy that managed the grocery store and that woman who stunk up the last pew at church? Now Oprah runs her own book club and it's actually cool to be in it! Nerds like you and me across the globe are out searching for books with that Oprah Book Club symbol! Nerds of the world unite!

Anyway, I'll have tons of Oprah scoop and photos for you at the end of October.

Big Tex, Corn Dogs, Funnel Cakes

2005-10-06T21:59:00.000-05:00

Of course I'm talking about the Texas State Fair! :) My family is planning on invading the fair grounds next weekend. We have some very close friends who will be visiting and we're taking them to the fair with us. The last time we went, my nephew stole funnel cake from a complete stranger. My sister was pregnant and we actually watched her eat fried pickles and cotton candy mixed together! Oh, and my dad almost got abducted by the Shriners during the night parade. And yet, we go back EVERY year and this time we are taking our beloved guests. I guess they will be more like hostages than guests.

But cyberworld, I must confess. I cheated and went to the fair today. My friends, L and M, were both in town at the same time. It was the perfect opportunity to show these two around. L flew in from NYC and she had never been to the fair. M is from south Texas but had never been to the fair. I wanted them to try a Fletcher's Corny Dog and some funnel cake covered in powdered sugar. So we all went and ate way more than we should have. Of course, the fair's theme is, "Let Yourself Go!" so I had to go for it. And I'll be going for it again next weekend. Ahhh, life is good. Excuse me while I go wash the powdered sugar out of my hair.

This is L and me with Big Tex at the State Fair earlier today.

Wine is Yummy

2005-10-02T10:42:00.000-05:00

Yowza! I went to a wine tasting party last night. Holy crap, dudes. Have you ever done one? If not, you must go. Seriously, I thought I'd be bored stiff - I'm not much of a wine drinker. (But give me an amaretto sour and I'll let the good times roll.) But the class taught me so much about wine and the process of making wine. Plus, it helped that we got to try 17 different kinds of wine.

I have found that I prefer European wines made in French wood barrels. That sounds so snotty and uppity, but it's true. But I must admit that I kinda already knew that... When I went to Europe the first time, we were in Paris and I drank wine at dinner the entire time. In fact, one night I didn't like my dinner and just drank my "wine-dinner" instead. It was one of those rare moments in life when you get to drink all you want and wake up with no hangover. Sweet! I somehow figured that there was a wino deep down inside me and it took Paris to pull her out. (Insert Paris Hilton joke here.) So we got back to the US and I immediately bought some wine and it made me barf all night. Just my luck! So I swore off wine and went back to amaretto and other girly drinks.

But I am now a changed woman. Perhaps it is because I am getting older. Perhaps it is because I learned the distinct difference between American wines and European wines. Perhaps is it because I secretly want to be a Euro-trash wino. Not too sure... But either way, I gotta go before my dad drinks all my wine.

P.S. Only 25 days until I get to see Oprah in the flesh!!! Should I take her some wine?

Dudes, I'm a Godmother!

2005-09-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, I'm a Godmother! And no, not a fairy godmother like my friend D suggested. I'm a 100% legit Godmother. I'm ready to give the pope a high-five and do a little Snoopy dance in celebration of that fact. I'm so excited, I might write Francis Ford Coppolla and encourage him to direct "The Godmother." It can be some sort of weird spin-off of "The Godfather" movies and maybe it can be set in the Hispanic community. Just a thought....

Anyway, my sister, A, chose me to be the Godmother of her son, B. Man, I was flipped out when she asked me. But I jumped at the chance and I'm honored to do it. My brother, J, is the Godfather.

Gotta go... many Godmotherly things to do with my nephew today.

The Power of 18

2005-09-18T16:05:00.000-05:00

Ok dudes, get a load of this. M, the hottie firefighter, met me on July 18. Then he came to visit me on August 18. Today is September 18 and as I type this he is on his way to see me. It wasn't planned, it just sorta ended up working out that way. Isn't that kick ass? But what does that mean? Is it bad luck like those cursed lottery numbers on Lost? Or is it good luck like those people who play favorite numbers and win millions? I don't know.

What I do know is that I like him. He is close, so close, to perfect. M popped up out of nowhere and blindsided me. I haven't like a guy in a long time - so I just don't know what do with all of this. Any ideas?

Here I am at Sam's Boathouse in Addison, TX.

I'm going to see OPRAH

2005-09-15T16:17:00.000-05:00

Dudes, get a load of this... My friend, L, is engaged to this guy who works for the ABC Network in NYC. He used his "connections" and got me hooked up with some Oprah tickets. I'm going on October 26 with L and my two sisters. Isn't that kick ass!!!!!!????? This is a dream come true for me. I've been trying to see Oprah ever since I was in college.

Unfortunately, Harpo Studios does not release the topic of the show in advance. You just sorta find out when you get there. But I'm hoping it is something cool. Here is a list of acceptable topics for me:

Jack Black - a real man with a cute tummy
Super Psychotic Oprah Fans In the House!
Blogs - the people who read them, the weirdos who write them
The Men of Rescue Me - Some Without Shirts

But you know...those are just off the top of my head. I'll take anything really. Well, that's not entirely true. There are some topics I would not like. Such as the following:

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow Wedding Extravaganza
Irregular Bowel Movements
Tom Cruise's Open Forum
When Your Spouse Wants A Sex Change

Anyway, expect a full report with photos towards the end of October. Go Oprah!!!

Just stuff...

2005-09-08T15:39:00.000-05:00

Some really cool stuff has been going on lately...let's get rolling with it....

I got a kick ass TiVo for freeeeeee! I was all excited and I even forked over the Three Hundy lifetime subscription fee. Then that TiVo crapped out on me. I called customer service and they actually told me I had a "gremlin" in my TiVo box. Man, that Gremlins movie scared the shit out of me as a child. How the hell could that dude say that to me? Anyway, I almost gave up entirely and got my money back. Then I even thought about taking the TiVo apart just so I could see the proverbial gremlin. But I got it all working again. And I LOVE me some TiVo now. That thing is going to change my whole perspective of television. The shows I used to give up on -just because of bad timing- will now have a chance.

Man, I signed up for some belly dancing classes. I shit you not. We meet on Thursday nights from 6 - 7 p.m. for 8 weeks straight - my first class is at the end of the month. I have to buy a scarf set and one of those skirts with the bells on the hips. How cool is that? I was kinda bummed about the class time because I'm gonna miss the first part of The O.C. But that's what TiVo is for...right?? See what I mean about changing my television perspective?

I went to the MAC Cosmetics store in a mall near my house. Girls in the world, hear my words: get to a MAC Store and load up. That stuff is like magic in a bottle/powder/pencil etc. Truly amazing stuff. Anyway... my girl friend G told me that MAC was having some kind of promotional event at the store. So we went. As soon as we walked in, they offered us a drink. And it was not some watered down kool-aid in a dixie cup. It was Bacardi Limon with punch! So we hit the drinks right away. Then this dude came out wearing nothing but the tiniest shorts I've ever seen. This dude must have stolen the shorts from Lara Flynn Boyle. Anyway, he had his whole body painted with a variety of browns, yellows and oranges. His hair had twigs and moss in it...he kinda looked like a hunky tree that came to life. Except that he was carrying a tray of fruit. I felt weird taking food from him so I declined and stuck to the Bacardi.

I've got some cool things coming up soon... I was asked to be a Godmother to my nephew. That's at the end of the month. Oh! And I'm planning a visit to see M the hottie firefighter. M lives about 6 hours from me so this is going to take some serious planning and serious gas money. Talk to you guys soon.